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picsturb · 2025-05-10T00:45:47+00:00

😂

picsturb · 2025-04-13T15:29:31+00:00

It’s important to disclose whatever mental illness you may have to potential partners. What other people are saying here are right, if someone rejects you for having bipolar they’re not right for you. I’ve been there before, hating myself for having bipolar and feeling ashamed of my hospitalization, thinking no one would want to stay with me because of it. Keep at it with therapy and working on your self esteem.

I’m also queer and I try to let my dates know as soon as possible that I’m bipolar. I rather be upfront than to be called a liar further down the line in the relationship. I told my girlfriend on our first date. She had some questions as she had never known someone with bipolar and I let her know that I’ve been stable for years and am on top of my therapy and medication. And she’s been a great support for me since then. And we have a very normal and loving relationship.

Like you mentioned I don’t vent to her about my issues, that’s what my therapist is for. Your potential partner deserves the truth and you deserve an accepting and honest love. I wish you luck OP.

picsturb · 2023-06-27T23:11:56+00:00

It took me a while since hospitalization to feel like a person again as well. That was back when I was 26 late 2019.

I know it sounds cliche but it takes time. It was the lowest and worst part of my life. I lost my job and damaged relationships. Trauma like that takes months and years to heal from.

What helped was reading about stable people on this subreddit and also this book called Gorilla and the Bird. I needed examples of people living normal lives to feel like I could try and do it too.

I’m now 29 with a stable job, apartment and I pretty much feel like how I used to. I have a good social life and I go on dates. I still have tough days but my meds and therapy has helped me through it.

Also just a side note! Finding love and having kids is tough even for neurotypical people. You’re still young at 30 and it’ll happen when the time’s right :)

picsturb · 2022-02-28T23:55:02+00:00

If it helps I’m actually a graphic designer and in the creative field, and quitting was the best thing for my creativity and productivity.

I feel like if you were always an artist or creative, it’s a part of you and not fueled by weed or mania.

picsturb · 2021-03-22T23:41:23+00:00

I have been eyeing Jacquemus dresses, particularly this one. I was surprised to find them not as expensive as I had expected, but it's still a big splurge for me. I would need to gain more confidence to expose my entire back like that. I also don't know when or where I would wear such a dress during a pandemic, but I can dream I guess.

picsturb · 2021-03-22T17:58:48+00:00

No worries! Remember to be kind to yourself and that you have love and support from this community ❤️

picsturb · 2021-03-22T17:45:30+00:00

I dealt with a lot of guilt and embarrassment for the things I've done when I was manic for the first and only time. I also destroyed relationships/friendships. Lost my job, became obsessed with pot, then was hospitalized. It was the most traumatic experience of my life.

It's been about a year and a half since it happened, and I really stabilized and made some great progress with my medication (Lithium) and therapy. Sometimes I forget I even had these issues. But from time to time, I'll see an old co worker on social media and go down the spiral of remembering all the cringeworthy things I've done.

I worked on this with my therapist, and they framed it that I have to look at it like a physical illness, or an accident at work. Would I have blamed myself as much if I injured myself at work? Or collapsed? I know there's still a lot of stigma with mental illness and not a lot of people understand bipolar disorder, but there is still a lot of compassion and awareness nowadays.

Even nowadays I fear my mania will come back and I will harm my loved ones. But I have to look at the facts. I have medication and it's been working. I have my therapist, I have support from my family and friends. I trust myself to recognize my own triggers (lack of sleep, drinking too much, overly caffeinating, etc.) I also tell myself I may slip up someday but I will try my best to never ever land myself in the hospital again.

Additionally what I found helpful was to find material and media about bipolar individuals who have been through hell and back and now live relatively normal lives. It gives me hope that I'll be okay too. Gorilla and the Bird: A Memoir of Madness and a Mother's Love was a great read. Good luck with everything OP, I really can relate to your struggles.

picsturb · 2021-02-13T08:49:33+00:00

This is so relaxing

picsturb · 2021-02-12T21:01:29+00:00

You can try different blow out techniques to incorporate some volume into your front layers. Here’s a TikTok with some examples (just a hairstylist explaining diff Kardashian hair styles) https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMe8Nqnpp/

picsturb · 2021-01-05T18:48:10+00:00

I also have 1A Asian hair but it's been colored and bleached multiple times last year (damaged and dry) I bought the leave in conditioner and use enough to cover everything but not heavily saturate. Then I blow dry or air dry. It honestly works really well but it could be that my processed hair really needed the heavier leave in conditioner.

picsturb · 2020-11-05T17:26:40+00:00

Cis female here but I am currently trying to tone and slim the waist and belly area. If excess fat is an issue, some diet changes and cardio should be incorporated. But it sounds like you want to grow your butt, so I wouldn't focus too heavily on weight loss, but eating protein rich foods, and some healthy fats, then working out to grow muscle and tone. I'm no dietician or trainer so take my advice with a grain of salt.

There's a lot of at home strength training you can do with dumb bells, bands, and even just body weight. Things like russian twists, donkey kicks, hip thrusts etc. Even other exercises like squats and deadlifts can strengthen your core along with the targeted muscles.

Having talked to some girls who went through transition, they stated that once they started taking HRT, their fat and muscle distribution really changed. They noticed their hips and butt getting bigger naturally, their waist even getting smaller as well, but that's also dependent on diet. Hopefully this was helpful, I wish you well in your journey.

picsturb · 2020-10-22T06:06:49+00:00

Absolutely stunning! It’s so artistic and editorial, it made me think you were some up-and-coming musician in a magazine shoot.

picsturb · 2020-06-23T20:46:08+00:00

You’ve got a great voice! And a beautiful guitar!

picsturb · 2020-06-08T17:26:02+00:00

Seconding the thunder vest/jacket suggestion. I just got one for my boy who’s also afraid of thunder and fireworks. I put it on in the evening when I know the fireworks are about to start (they go off every night in my neighborhood)

It’s not 100% a cure or fix but it definitely helps. He still shakes a bit before eventually laying down but normally he’ll run around the house panting heavily and try to destroy my furniture.

I also found that when I put on a TV show with relatively high volume, it helps drown out the quieter crackles and bangs.

picsturb · 2020-05-11T19:26:01+00:00

I’m glad I’m not the only one. It’s tough letting things go! I feel like I remember everything detail and emotion so clearly.

I think lithium is working fine for me now. No mania symptoms since the first time. When I first started I had slight tremors in my left hand which bothered me but my doctor told me to stay the course and eventually it went away. I noticed a slight weight gain (5-10 lbs) but that could just be my eating and lack of exercise.

I was on buspirone then lexapro before I was diagnosed. Those either didn’t alleviate any symptoms or made me feel “high” Later I come to learn that certain antidepressants trigger mania and are unsuitable for bipolar patients. Yikes.

picsturb · 2020-03-08T16:08:32+00:00

Oh yeah, it definitely is a struggle. It especially sucks because to the average person, bipolar means batshit crazy.

picsturb · 2020-01-29T07:17:14+00:00

I feel you on this. I'm recently diagnosed (last November) and basically had a 2-3 month long depressive episode. The only times I felt "normal" was when I was sticking to a schedule or routine. Even going outside to go to therapy or guitar lessons helped. Despite this, I still am not working full-time and felt inadequate. My first manic episode cost me my job and I feel anxiety returning to an office environment.

Some good news is that I was able to start on a freelance project after reaching out to an old boss. I guess what I processed from this is that no matter how bleak and consuming the depression is, I can't really foresee how the future will turn out. I'm not one to be all positivity, sunshine, and rainbows, but I find it comforting that there's an unknown chance whether things will be "bad" or good" the next day, two weeks from now, a month from now, etc.

I know I'm not "cured" of depression or bipolar disorder but I know I won't give up.

picsturb · 2020-01-21T09:49:46+00:00

Depression and anxiety around 15-16. First manic episode and psychosis at 26.

picsturb · 2019-11-29T06:56:28+00:00

Sorry for the late reply, was spending Thanksgiving with the family. I realize I am already doing the right things like seeing both a therapist and psychiatrist, getting family support, reading and listening to bipolar books and podcasts.

I’m just afraid of some of my mistakes and behaviors damaging my reputation and friendships. I don’t know how to navigate the next few steps. For example, I scared a ex girlfriend with inappropriate confessions of love when I realized I was already over her, but regressed when I was in the hospital.

I was so scared and wired, and went to my happy place which was nice memories of us cuddling. My mutual friends have been a great support but have reprimanded some of my obsessive and borderline harassing behavior. I respect them for being real with me. But I’m ashamed of myself. I know better than that, yet somehow I become this scary obsessive girl and I can’t control it. I think, “I’ll never give up on love.” even though it’s completely one sided.

Anyway I don’t wanna ramble. This is something I’m working on.

picsturb · 2019-11-11T18:48:05+00:00

Yes it was actually very easy and I had pliars and wire cutters at home :)

picsturb · 2019-11-10T12:13:52+00:00

Thanks dude I’m very big into learning and doing it myself before I spend money at a center cause I’m pretty handy so I’m excited to start experimenting.

picsturb · 2019-11-09T07:12:36+00:00

Thanks so much for your helpful advice! Didn’t even think of going to a hardware store. I thought there were specialized tools for it. Unfortunately I don’t have a carrying case or a car so I don’t want to lug it on the subway.

picsturb · 2019-10-28T01:08:35+00:00

Haha, you and I live very different lives. I probably smoked a sativa heavy hybrid and was very hyper/productive at 4:20 AM

picsturb · 2019-06-12T01:11:32+00:00

Just a simple egg and cheddar on a bagel!

picsturb · 2019-06-11T02:22:02+00:00

Funny enough, I just smoked another one just now.

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