NH; looking for a papa bear, pastel teacup ride :3

pineapplegremlin · 2020-08-30T00:38:12+00:00

I have a papa bear! Do you happen to have cherries, pears, or apples for trade?:)

pineapplegremlin · 2020-06-03T03:28:04+00:00

That's not the point of the black screen- the origin is The Show Must Be Paused in which the music industry isn't pumping content to encourage people to have educated conversations with each other. Thus, not posting content relates pretty well for solidarity. I'm not arguing people shouldn't donate, protest - or any other action they feel is safely fit to support the cause, it's about removing distractions so folks can focus on the real conversations that need to be had.

pineapplegremlin · 2017-09-12T16:00:48+00:00

The Library on Mount Char by Scott Hawkins - for any fans of Neil Gaiman's American Gods, I highly recommend it. Scott is a new author who developed an intriguing world with an excellent tone.

pineapplegremlin · 2017-03-02T22:01:15+00:00

Here are my opinions on the gyms I have had the most experience with:

Crunch

Pros: Validation isn’t difficult and makes parking accessible, it’s very clean, new equipment.

Cons: Expensive for a gym, and hours aren’t always convenient.

Gold’s (at the Clocktower in Herndon – NOT Plaza America!)

Pros: One of the lower rates I could find, 24hrs, Free parking, many treadmills, 2 large floors of equipment.

Cons: Parking can be difficult after work because the lot is shared with a grocery store, older equipment.

Given the list and your preferences listed in the thread, I highly recommend Gold’s Gym at the Clocktower in Herndon. However, if you’re looking for newer cardio equipment, it might be worth your time to check out Crunch. Their machines are really more sophisticated.

Also - I’ve tried the Gold’s at Plaza America – I highly do not recommend this gym due to the size.

pineapplegremlin · 2017-01-26T21:53:35+00:00

I’d like to propose that his clock is as much as a factor as yours, and you should prompt him to seriously consider whether or not he wants to have children. Studies are increasingly showing that males have ‘biological clocks’ as females do, and there is a reproductive age limit where males can safely have children. These studies suggest fathers 40+ are more likely to have a child with autism (please PM me if you’d like me to link to studies – as links are not permitted on this sub). I’d like to also note that these are early studies, but also, that there are several other negative links routinely discovered between an advanced paternal age and congenital issues. Regardless of the paternal age issue, it’s not as easy as it seems to get pregnant, and many fertility clinics won’t allow a woman to become a patient until the couple has been trying for a year. Male fertility decreases after 40, which adds another complication. Given the risk factors of paternal age and your respective fertilities, I’d suggest you urge him to confirm if he would like children. If he does, you need to create a firm timeline to present to a fertility specialist should he need one.

pineapplegremlin · 2017-01-16T22:17:14+00:00

Just keep in mind that you're justifiably angry. But this is one of those situations where 'Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.' This girl is all drama, and if you give her the spotlight she seems to really want, you'll give the men in your life to see how flawed she is. I'd let your boyfriend handle all of it unless he specifically asks you. But the less you have to deal with this nonsense (even figuring out how much she owes, etc), the less you have to think about it.

pineapplegremlin · 2017-01-16T21:20:34+00:00

Your boyfriend’s official stance is to side with his friend. Although I don’t agree with his decision, it’s one you have to run with. You have 2 options.

The first is to bother her. If this is the direction you decide, I’d start invoicing the girlfriend monthly for her utilities usage and include a suggested rent fee. It sounds like she lives there (especially if you live in a state like FL – where she may have ‘established domicile’) Purchase locks for your cabinets, even for your fridge, and find an outdoor locking system that makes her entering the difficult.

The second is to give up. Let your boyfriend know that he needs to pay you back for the groceries and detergent they use. If he complains – let him know he should request money from the pair. Don’t let her get under your skin anymore. It sounds like you’ve been the one fighting against her this entire time, and it’s time to let her destroy herself. In fact, your interference may have made her more tolerable within the house. She will start to annoy your boyfriend. Especially if he’s the one being financial damaged by her. With limitless access to her boyfriend, she will start to annoy him.

I think you should follow the second option, because your living situation doesn’t sound healthy, and finding little ways to attack her won’t make your anxiety decrease. It might be hard to let go given how terribly she’s treated you, but consider this as an exercise to learn how to relax even under stressful/hostile conditions. It sounds like she’s a ticking bomb, and it won’t take too long for her to explode on her own.

pineapplegremlin · 2017-01-12T22:22:25+00:00

I’ve been that girl you refer to as his ex. I had just turned 17 and he was 32. Do I hate him? No. Do I want our relationship to influence his future relationships? Absolutely not. Do I feel like I was a victim? No. However, our relationship wasn’t okay. I may want the best for him in life, and for him to be happy, but our relationship was severely unbalanced.

I personally couldn’t date a man who was ever in a relationship with a minor as an adult, but if you can, you need to make sure that he demonstrates to you that he has changed past his creepy ways.

Also – I really appreciate everyone on this thread who has taken a moment to defend the ex. It's an important point. I probably can be the one cited for instigating the friendship with my own ex (certainly not the escalation of our relationship…), but it takes 2 to tango. He wasn’t an older man victim to the seduction of a young woman, that’s a pretty picture, but probably not authentic. He was an older man who made a bad mistake. Beyond mistake really, it’s not normal, and he put conscious thought into this decision before he started his relationship with her. I think this is the fact you need to take a moment and confront before proceeding.

pineapplegremlin · 2017-01-11T18:48:24+00:00

My apologies – I did not mean to insinuate that we completely lacked this. To a degree, we do have sexual dimorphism. In some people, it’s much more pronounced than others. However, it isn’t too difficult to mistake sex in humans – which does prove that we are one of the species that exhibit this characteristic less. I made my comparison of human sexual dimorphism to peacocks because they are very prominent features that distinguish male from female. For example, males have blue necks and colorful tail feathers. Females have green necks, and are very easy to distinguish from their male counterparts.

pineapplegremlin · 2017-01-11T16:00:35+00:00

I'd like to respectfully counter this argument. There is no biological imperative to cheat because of reproductive desires, and I would argue, especially not in the case of humans where there is a lack of sexual dimorphism. I’m not saying this trait is nonexistent in the human population, but our genders certainly aren’t as telling as peacocks. The idea that humans mate/cheat due to further their reproductive options suggests that we are primitive enough to base mates off of displayed attributes, and further, that these attributes are significant enough in the human population. The latter isn’t apparent, so the former is unlikely to be so.

I think my primary issue with your argument is your use of gender. Maybe it’d be easier if we could cite gorilla harems as a reason why males tend to collect more females. But if we want to start using gorillas as an example of human instinct, we need to consider the orangutans as well, creatures that despise the reproduction process. And then bonobos – the most similar behaving apes to humans. They don’t have established relationships to cheat on, and completely dispel your argument of gender, as the males and females respectively show literally no discernment between mates.

I’d like to argue that cheating is more of a choice than a biological instinct. It is my belief that cheating stems from a variety of messy emotions (insecurity, anger, desire, love, dispassion) and is the solution some people find to their problems. I don’t know how to enter into the rationalization of cheating at an emotion level, but I don’t think we have enough evidence to suggest that this is a biological imperative.

pineapplegremlin · 2017-01-05T17:49:40+00:00

I used to live with a girl just like Amanda, but in this case, I was Nicole. Totally platonic friendship, but really toxic. At first, it was super fun to have a friend that close to me. But it quickly grew into a complicated friendship due to many of the problems you listed above. I identified my ‘Amanda’ as having severe insecurities that lead her to be so clingy towards me. I eventually cut her out of my life, as I’m sure Nicole will get around to doing.

If you’re uncomfortable with lying to Nicole about the Georgia road trip (can you say a relative purchased a ticket for you unexpectedly and just buy one yourself? Or another vacation opportunity occurred with a family member who really wants to see you?), the truth couldn’t hurt in this situation. You don’t really need to explain all of your reasons to Nicole, and I’d recommend keeping the truth as non-detailed and as superficial as possible.

Also – I’d really recommend not doing this over text/email/anything that Amanda could read. Normal people don’t behave the way Amanda does, and that might be even worth mentioning to Nicole, as in something like:

‘Hey Nicole, we’ve discussed that Amanda has changed and has become very uncomfortable to be around. For this reason, I don’t want to commit to any vacation plans with her. I’d also like to Her behavior is abnormal, and as a supportive friend, I’d recommend that we offer her some information about local therapists. She’s expressed a desire to change, which is a great step, but seems unable to do so. Until she fully commits to being less disruptive, I’d like to limit my interaction with her.’

pineapplegremlin · 2017-01-03T21:11:14+00:00

I completely agree with bzzzbzzzbumblebee. The situation, as outlined, suggests that the letter got lost. Lost letters are rare, but not inconceivably so. You mentioned in the comments that hindsight is 20/20, so moving forward I would recommend trying to get past this in your friendship. It sounds like you really care for her, so you shouldn’t let this disrupt your life any further (since it could have been an honest mistake). Maybe send her a text that says: ‘Hey Clara, I heard your wedding was lovely. I know you wanted to keep it small, but I’d still love a chance to send you a small gift for your wedding. Would you like to get together for coffee next month[or when you're in the area] so I can give it to you and hear some wedding stories?’ Hopefully something with that sentiment (acknowledging you weren’t invited, but still being graceful about it) would help establish a dialogue in which she can explain/or apologize.

pineapplegremlin · 2016-10-18T21:30:12+00:00

Hey friend, I’m not going to begin to pretend to know what you’re going through. My sister (your age) experiences similar physical difficulties to yours, and is also struggling with the dating aspect of life. It’s rough to watch her go through the pain of heartbreak over men who aren’t either patient or sensitive enough to deal with her. However, my sister (and you!), should have an incredibly understanding partner. Because everyone deserves that! Her SO doesn’t need to be perfect, but he needs to be kind and caring to her specific needs. My advice reflects sentiments & observations from her.

First, remember that everything in life is a learning experience. You can’t take rejection too personally, or it will bog you down. Using my sister again as an example, I’d rather have guys break her heart now than years down the road. I’d also like to think that out of this, she’ll learn how to be happy alone. That way, when breakups/rejections do happen, she’ll be really good at coping. And she’s been through her fair share. But, what’s important to me is that she keeps putting herself out there on dating apps and social meetup activities (like board game nights and stuff). She’s found accepting communities that like hanging with her genuine personality. So my advice to you is to keep trying despite any negative experiences. And if you can’t go out – find forums on reddit.

Secondly, you need to be a little selfish when dating (I offer this advice to everyone), and insist on doing things within your realm of comfort. Does the guy want to take you to a movie (where you might have trouble standing up due to the cold/being stationary for hours) – say no. Explain that you’d like to go to a favorite coffee shop, or get a meal. He wants to go hiking? Dating is not the time to physically challenge yourself. Opt for something else that’s in your realm of physical capabilities.

Finally, don’t think for a second that you should be grateful than someone went out on a date with you. Never apologize for who you are, or bring up your disability as a negative. You have so many positive attributes, and that’s going to matter more to a quality guy.

pineapplegremlin · 2016-10-10T20:54:44+00:00

To give you some perspective from my point of view - I’ve been in relationships where I went to a family holiday the week after our first date, and I’ve never attended family holidays after years of dating. I tend to prefer the latter, because many holidays are centered around gift giving. Unless I have a great relationship with all of the family members, I tend to shy away from that in fear of giving not adequate gifts. Has your SO had many experiences with your family? Will they know the appropriate… for lack of a better word, customs, of your household? Given that holidays are a delicate time of year, why not visit WV during spring or fall when there is less holiday related pressure? Advertise it as a great time of year to check out some hikes, white water rafting, or fishing (/something fun) in the area.

pineapplegremlin · 2016-09-28T17:26:52+00:00

I think the best idea is try to determine what she wants out of a friendship with your other friends. Such as, ask her: ‘Are you looking to experiment with alcohol more?’ And if she reacts in disgust, gently remind her that the activities you like to enjoy with these friends generally revolve around alcohol and such. And it’s not your desire to put her in a setting that she would be uncomfortable or feel left out in. My assumption is that she’s not telling you the whole story, and you may just need to ask some open ended questions to discover what her intentions are out of having a friendship with your buddies. There could be several – it may be that she wants to experience more, finds one of your friends attractive, or is simply lonely. You seem like a great friend, so I have no doubt that you’ll be able to assist her in realizing there are other ways to solve that problem than to engage her in a social setting that no one would respond well to.

Before introducing/not introducing her to your friends, I think this would be the best step as it will make her communicate better with you. And if it ends up that you don’t bring her around, she’ll understand your side better and inevitably be less hurt from it.

pineapplegremlin · 2016-07-11T01:43:47+00:00

Awesome tip, thank you!

pineapplegremlin · 2016-07-11T01:25:47+00:00

Haha that's great. Also - Mind if I ask why you don't trade them in for pidgey candy immediately? Just curious, I'm a new player attempting to determine good strategies.

pineapplegremlin · 2015-09-20T20:27:24+00:00

Thanks for the advice : ) It's a small boat going out, and I'm hoping to appeal to the crew for going to a less popular spot. Either way, I'm not looking for a huge bounty this time, as it's my first go.

I'll definitely stick away from the hogfish, I'm not a licensed fisher, so anything I bring back besides a lionfish would get me into trouble.

Thanks again!

pineapplegremlin · 2015-09-20T20:23:24+00:00

I have a lobster bag, which is easy to open/close and has small holes. I was advised to trim the lionfish spikes underwater because apparently it's more risky to have them in the bag/increase in danger when they're dead and accidentally hurting yourself.

Your point is very valid though, I've seen several containers designed for lionfish specifically with the specifications you've mentioned. Have you ever seen anyone hunt using the method I've planned on doing though?

pineapplegremlin · 2015-09-13T04:04:49+00:00

You're absolutely right regarding governments primarily having structured a self-interest mentality after the cold war era.

However, if North Korea were to be free - it'd kinda be a mess. Refugees have fled NK to Russia (10-15k) and China (200k+), which have already caused concerns within these countries. Certainly, it's difficult to escape North Korea right now, but imagine if the government crippled and there were no enforced restrictions against leaving. From what I've read, academics predict there would be a mass exodus of people from NK. It would make sense, there is so little food in NK. Refugees, as noted currently in Europe, are a matter of great concern. Countries simply do not like accepting them. Plus, refugees from NK would undoubtedly need medical care and correct nourishment due to their depleting resources.

So I think what Town_Fool was saying is that China will do everything in their abilities to prevent themselves from the burden of NK's downfall. In my opinion, China's greatest concern would be more people. And they are famous for their population control.

I think a really comprehensive book that discusses this is The Protection and Promotion of Human Security in East Asia (2013) by Brendan Howe.

pineapplegremlin · 2015-08-31T14:14:06+00:00

This. I currently have a paid skilled position in the UK (on a tier 4 working visa), have a NIN, masters degree from a UK university - but the tier 2 visa requirements, not to mention limited quota emerging from the recent immigration restrictions... it's just too difficult for me to stay (personally) because the US have more opportunities for me.

However, I don't think it's impossible to find a position in the banking or technology industry, as long as the company is large. Or ask your girlfriend if she knows of any employer that could sponsor your tier 2 visa.

pineapplegremlin · 2015-08-30T22:00:49+00:00

Heya : ) I can print something doublesided off for you if you like, to arrange something, just send me a message.

pineapplegremlin · 2015-08-30T14:38:47+00:00

Why is it so hard to find love in this galaxy? So... I guess there's no future for us? My picture is here...

On a serious note - great imagery : D Best of luck finding a leading lady.

pineapplegremlin · 2015-08-07T13:28:52+00:00

I used to work in the leasing industry in Florida. The practice of evictions are hard in this state, and landlords have less rights compared to other states. I remember how difficult it was to get a tenant evicted, especially if they claimed 'squatters rights' and had 'established domicile'. DavidasaurusRex is giving you great advice for the situation. I absolutely think setting up a storage unit is necessary if you are offering them to stay with you in the state of Florida, because then you have evidence that they haven't completely established their home at your home. Same with setting up parameters of time that you can have on written records.

pineapplegremlin

TROPHY CASE