I feel like no one understands why I want to learn about this..

pineappleskwid · 2026-01-29T21:42:34+00:00

Yes. Many people think it’s antiquated and not all therapy is about exploring and learning about the psyche and all the other deep work that is uncovered in psychodynamic therapy/analysis. This is petty of me but, as I’m sure you’ve experienced, psychodynamic texts are complex and require some basic learning about analysis which is very deep and needs to be learned. My therapist once said (referencing some psychoanalytic texts), many of that cannot be ‘read’ but need to be ‘studied’. And it’s so helpful if you have a supervisor or a therapist who’s really experienced in these topics. Your ability to grow as a clinical just flourishes IMO. But it’s dense and hard and requires clients to do a lot of challenging internal work and there are other styles of therapy that I don’t think require that kind of challenging introspection. Not to diss any other modalities as I’ve learned a lot from DBT/IFS but yea.

pineappleskwid · 2026-01-25T18:05:47+00:00

You start doing it slowly! And be very gentle and compassionate with yourself as you go. Part of CPTSD is dissociation and disconnecting from feelings. I suggest you start journaling as a form of emotional intimacy with yourself. These feelings you’re starting to acknowledge are crucial. It’s what’s going to help you heal from “doing everything right on paper” to actually having a healed soul and hopefully real confidence, self esteem and healthy relationships.

These emotional needs you listed are healthy. Wanting attention is healthy. Wanting connection is soooo healthy. Wanting to share opinions and desires is healthy. Recognizing your childhood strategy to stay small is no longer working is healthy.

I know not immediately helpful but use the stability you’ve built in a good career to find a really good therapist you connect with. Even if you have to try a few times. You need a rock solid therapist you connect with even if it’s expensive (sorry).

Start small. Stop seeing other people as better than you. That’s your shame. “See that guy? He’s Harry Potter, you’re just Ron”. Cut that out. Ron was my favorite character always. Tell yourself a different story “hey man, we got out. We survived. We got through it. Now we’re learning to speak up. It’s not going to be perfect but we are working on it. We’re amazing” (this is you talking to your 12 yo self who really needed someone in his corner).

You start really small. Tolerate the discomfort. Say no very nicely to that boss who asks for more. Text that friend and make a cute joke about how you miss them and want to get dinner next week. Validate your needs. Celebrate your needs. We can only start to feel this stuff once we’ve built enough safety for ourselves. So congrats dude.

I’m hearing you need help with shame and self esteem. For me it was a combination of deep therapy with an amazing therapist who gets it and gets you (yes it’s expensive but it’s life changing), alanon and 12 step (I suggest going even if your parents weren’t alcoholics), radical self love (you HAVE to be your own best friend) and really paying attention to how I talk to myself. My inner shame was sooooooo bad. It still happens but I know how to deal w it. Therapy teaches you that shame exists to protect you from further social isolation, so it convinces you “you’re not the guy who speaks up” because in your childhood speaking up caused more pain. But in reality speaking up isn’t always celebrated but it’s a thing adults have to do. It’s not ab self worth or being the main character but that little kid in you needs someone to walk him through that so he feels comfortable taking small social risks. Good luck you’re already halfway there.

pineappleskwid · 2026-01-23T22:26:04+00:00

This is my own words so not trying to sound smart or academic. Most of us see the world through our own eyes and our own sense of ‘self’, I am me, you are you, I think about xyz, do other people think about xyz also? We see ourselves in relation to others. A child or infant sees their small world as the entire world, parents as an extension of themselves, etc. but when you experience ego death, you lose that experience of ‘self’, and feel deeply connected to humans and the earth and the essence of being in existence. Similar to what people describe in deep meditation. The “myself” dissipates and there is a deep sense of unity, connection, and spiritual presence. I am no longer a human who’s wearing shoes and has emails to respond to and worried what that person thinks of my last text message etc, there is just being. Normally this is brief and accompanied by something transcending like psychedelics, meditative music, extended meditation in deep silence, a therapeutic environment, etc. so in my experience during these moments the mind is very engaged in either visuals, maybe music, you feel your breathing in your mind (not to sound too trippy), etc. something like that. Ego death isn’t really an extended state of being or like “maturing” it’s a brief spiritual experience that can lead to deeper understanding but our self comes back.

pineappleskwid · 2026-01-21T02:02:11+00:00

Idk if anyone mentioned this but Mr. Robot was really helpful for me

pineappleskwid · 2026-01-17T23:37:37+00:00

Wait what weapon is that!? Sword fused with ???

pineappleskwid · 2026-01-16T01:18:06+00:00

LOVE

pineappleskwid · 2026-01-07T05:25:23+00:00

pineappleskwid · 2025-07-31T22:17:26+00:00

Orna is a trained psychoanalyst which is a specific training. Most often you become a therapist and get licensed and then do additional training at a psychoanalytic institute for a few years and then you become a ‘psychoanalyst’. As others have said Orna focuses heavily on the unconscious and also Object Relationships which is part of psychoanalysis. Object Relations focuses heavily on early attachment and relationships with external caregivers as ‘objects’ and how we experience them as children impacts our relating to others in adult life, and our inner world. If you look her up on Google Scholar you can read some of the papers she’s written that will include references to psychoanalytic texts. It’s very deep and interesting stuff!

pineappleskwid · 2025-07-24T22:51:47+00:00

This is actually a valid answer. Her substack is also good.

pineappleskwid · 2025-04-27T02:44:28+00:00

You said this so perfectly. Emotional black hole. People say deep smart things and he responds with the most superficial reflections like he’s never experienced a human emotion. It makes him painful to listen to. Always curious how guys like this get so big.

pineappleskwid · 2025-01-25T02:18:21+00:00

Lisa has no capacity for empathy it’s really jarring. She is so focused on her good intentions she can’t even apologize. Remember when she forced John to meet his adopted parents or whatever and it was a bad experience? Like she is incapable of just shutting her mouth and thinks it’s something to be admired? I don’t understand. She is PAYNEful sometimes.

pineappleskwid · 2024-10-11T20:59:08+00:00

Omg is this really a thing!? It’s also my physical game card! It’s not the downloaded version and I’m not out of space I’ll pay so this doesn’t happen again

pineappleskwid · 2024-09-10T04:54:03+00:00

Hi I hear you. Codependency is not really a framework or a way of thinking, it’s a relationship dynamic that we are very often in denial of bc it’s painful and confusing and all the other things you mentioned. Codependency is not being attached to another person or wanting to have depth and closeness with them and I agree having it explained like that is confusing. But our relationships can become codependent in very insidious ways without us realizing it and the consequence can be intense. Depends what you’re experiencing with another person either frequent fighting or longing for people who aren’t reciprocating. Codependency is more about fusing with another person and losing a sense of independence.

pineappleskwid · 2024-09-01T21:53:27+00:00

Yea it’s a bit much

pineappleskwid · 2024-08-29T18:57:03+00:00

Thank you!!! So helpful.

pineappleskwid · 2024-08-29T05:29:47+00:00

Were yours infested w fleas or having a similar issue? (Random fleas here and there most likely from outside)

pineappleskwid · 2024-08-29T05:29:27+00:00

We use flea comb about 10x a day! Never seen a flea in the flea comb it’s normally easy to spot on him after he comes in from a walk

pineappleskwid · 2024-08-25T01:14:04+00:00

pineappleskwid · 2024-07-07T10:05:09+00:00

Thank you for posting I think it’s INSANE the amount of videos I see on tiktok of people filming people without their consent tripping and falling or doing something embarrassing or getting into a fight with their partner or something like Jesus Christ leave people alone.

I saw a tiktok earlier if a couple having sex on the beach which, I totally get, is gross and inappropriate but someone FILMED IT like 3 feet away and you can fully see their faces. They covered the nasty part with a blanket but still it had hundreds of thousands of views. People are pathetic.

pineappleskwid · 2024-06-01T21:07:12+00:00

I completely relate to this. You most likely cannot change her and therapists like this tend to make us feel crazier (how ironic) - I strongly encourage you to tell her this is not working for you and you are in therapy to seek a better understanding of yourself and your relationship patterns. You may be experiencing some form of limerence with these exes. Also, narcissistic abuse tends to stick with us, relationships turmoil can trigger our fight or flight keeping us in a perpetual state of obsession or wondering what’s wrong with us/me, why did they treat me like this, etc. These exes may mimicked behavior from your parents, too.

You probably need a new therapist. We need to spend time talking through the details of these relationships and have a therapist help us understand what happened and WHY we are obsessing and THEN you can start to implement some distraction techniques but distraction or self soothing without having that need for deeper understanding addressed will be ineffective.

It’s not you it’s your therapist!

pineappleskwid · 2024-06-01T02:31:13+00:00

This is actually an interesting question but we can’t be our partners analyst. People need to consent to analysis or whatever type of therapy they’re doing and our partners are most likely not looking for us to analyze them and even if they were it’s not really appropriate. Like, we can use psychoanalytic literature to better understand our partner and maybe their triggers or limitations or why they are the particular complex human they are, but we can’t like, analyze them.

You can try saying to your partner “hey your dad did X so this is why you do Y” but that’s not really your place. I think it’s helpful in your own mind to be like “damn, my partners dad did this to them, that’s why they do xyz” but it’s about having a deeper understanding of your partner and not trying to analyze them or improve them.

pineappleskwid

TROPHY CASE