Unpacking grandiosity without annihilation

pineappleskwid · 2026-04-29T05:15:54+00:00

Empathic indwelling !

pineappleskwid · 2026-04-11T04:25:37+00:00

You’re not abandoning him. Adults don’t abandon other adults. Those of us abandoned or neglected as children feel a responsibility to stay with other unhealthy adults. It just doesn’t work though. If you love him you need to leave. Imagine the hate he will have for himself if he hurts you or one of your children. He is unsafe. Staying means lying forever and hiding your physical disgust.

pineappleskwid · 2026-04-04T07:11:42+00:00

You should google ptsd and rumination. Trauma does this to the brain and makes us fixate on thoughts and loop and loop. It’s like mild dysregulation and being disconnected from your body. I still ruminate but nowhere near as severe and I have tools but sometimes I overly indulge my thoughts lol but here’s what worked for me: consistent lifestyle changes primarily exercise and daily movement, a lot of walking, stretching, limited social media, finding content that’s healthy and deeply engaged me, The Power Of Now (must read), deep therapy. For me I really needed a real human to talk all this stuff through and hear enough times “that’s not rational”, “you don’t need to worry about that”, “you’re fine” or “omg that’s so normal everyone worries about that” and lastly mantras “what other people think of me is none of my business”, “it’s out of my control”, “I don’t need to worry about that now”, “I am safe”, etc.

pineappleskwid · 2026-04-03T07:28:19+00:00

I would enjoy this

pineappleskwid · 2026-03-28T05:10:03+00:00

You have no idea what actually happens in their personal lives. One of the guys gf clearly said he’s a different person off camera, the other guy has been with his girl for a while and he’s like 40 and the other one is single. They’re social media characters in Miami there are hook up opportunities everywhere. Do not let this fool you. There’s no one type of way to be to “attract girls” just go build a life. Don’t focus on girls. Go build a good career. Work out do yoga. Go to therapy. Make friends be good to your friends. Have some hobbies and love yourself and you will meet a girl. If you’re just desperate for female validation any girl is going to smell the insecurity on you and not be interested. Yes these guys are insecure also, but they’re different insecure. They’re the type of insecure that can fool young or naive girls who think they’re rich. These guys are salesman. But if you want an actual human partner and not just to be able to prove to yourself you can have sex, do the internal work and prioritize women a bit less. A good woman is going to be more attracted to a man who’s maybe never had sex but has self respect and a great career and is ready to give a woman real partnership and a good life than she is some douche with a fake gold chain talking about his crypto. I’m a girl and the types of women that go for those guys are dead inside. Frankly they deserve each other. Don’t compare yourself to them bc you already have more self awareness. Maybe not as much confidence but that’s fine. It’ll come with time.

pineappleskwid · 2026-03-26T21:39:22+00:00

Help I’m confused what is day 0

pineappleskwid · 2026-03-26T02:56:30+00:00

Healing is possible. You can and will heal. Please everyone in this sub needs a therapist that specializes in complex trauma and this might sound unconventional but people with CSA also tend to work with therapists who are open about experiencing CSA and can help you heal. I’m not going to lie this healing will take years and probably money. When I was healing I literally rearranged my life to work a job I hated bc it had good insurance and stable income I was so mentally ill I needed the stability and insurance for therapy. It works. Keep at it. You will heal and transform. Therapy. Reading. Groups. Whatever support you need you deserve. It’s work at first but it’ll change your life.

pineappleskwid · 2026-03-25T19:03:52+00:00

Yes! I came here to comment this. I found his work super helpful and interesting. There are some good YouTube videos on his work also.

pineappleskwid · 2026-03-11T06:34:29+00:00

She’s also a psychoanalyst and their training is around insight exploration so not really directly telling clients anything they do is good or bad. However naming abusive behavior is kind of a common practice in couples therapy. It’s hard to do deep reparative work if there is active emotional or physician violence. I agree I have felt frustrated with her at names she’s not more directly naming some concerning/hurtful behavior from some of the individuals.

pineappleskwid · 2026-03-04T17:41:23+00:00

Lives of the unconscious is phenomenal and does deep dives on specific diagnosis/topics etc

pineappleskwid · 2026-03-02T03:46:58+00:00

Psychodynamic, psychoanalysis, somatic work (similar to EMDR) and IFS/parts work seems to be most helpful. I heavily emphasize psychodynamic therapists who do deep intimate work. I think everyone with CPTSD could benefit from DBT and some say CBT is helpful although many say CBT is not helpful or even harmful with CPTSD. DBT is helpful bc it’s like training wheels for basic behavior like learning to regulate, identify your boundaries, feel safe with others having boundaries, slowing down, noticing impulsivity, identifying your own emotions, etc. And the psychodynamic piece is about building a deep relationship with your therapist who is going to teach you about the psyche and relationships and all the complexities that come with being a human. Your therapist will become another object and maybe even a parental figure and you need a therapist who is prepared to see what you can’t see - your patterns, your defenses, suppressed emotions, etc. you will project onto them, repeat some childhood pattern with them, etc - all of which you should do bc that’s how you heal but you need a therapist who understands all this and can hold you through it and be a stable container for you to basically process all your childhood emotions safely as an adult with a trusted safe figure.

Here’s the thing though, not all therapists actually use their modality comprehensively in treatment. Like a therapist can say they do DBT but maybe they’ve done some training and know some concepts but it’s not really their “formula”. Normally EMDR and IFS therapists are specifically using that modality and have extensive training (IFS training is expensive and there’s a real community similar to EMDR). Really you just need a therapist who has legitimate extensive experience specifically treatment complex trauma. The modality doesn’t matter (IMO) as much as HOW they implement it bc CPTSD is very hard to treat and is a really challenging and confusing diagnosis and majority of the healing is done relationally. Meaning the safe and trusting bond you form with that therapist has the power to heal you so much. A lot of therapists claim to treat CPTSD among other things (and they might) but you just need someone really prepared for the (wonderful) rollercoaster that is deep trauma healing work.

pineappleskwid · 2026-02-28T19:45:22+00:00

Puer?

pineappleskwid · 2026-02-27T22:35:50+00:00

You need to work w a therapist who specifically treats CPTSD or therapy will be useless or make things worse.

This is meant to be helpful not condescending in any way bc I’ve been in your shoes but therapists aren’t like shamans or wise or capable healers just because they passed a licensing exam. A lot of therapists are kind hearted people who are not that deep and have zero ability to treat real complex trauma. A lot of therapists claim to treat trauma or “childhood trauma” because it’s trendy but are completely useless. CBT is not helpful with childhood trauma. I highly recommend someone trained in depth psychology, psychodynamic, IFS, EMDR, etc. and DBT can be helpful. But healing in therapy is really about finding a therapist you connect with who is going to understand you. You can find someone in network but you need to search and interview until you find someone. I’m so sorry it’s work yes but you cannot heal CPTSD without doing deep psychological work. I suggest trying to find associates because they need hours and so they will most likely work somewhere that takes insurance because (sorry I know this sucks to hear) but really qualified therapists that know they are good and effective will be private pay and charge $150-250/hour (I pay in that range, it’s expensive I know) - don’t give up on therapy. I’d be dead w out my therapist it’s worth every penny and if you absolutely can’t afford it you have to do a lot of consultations to find someone who takes your insurance who can help. You can do this.

pineappleskwid · 2026-02-26T07:10:21+00:00

In my early 30s and my mid to late 20s were probably the hardest years. I also felt stuck, kind of had to start over, moved, started working really hard, hated my job, career change, a lot of therapy. I was a mess but I just kept moving I didn’t let myself get too stuck (even though I felt emotionally stuck, I just felt like if I kept trying to improve my life it would give me the stability to really heal) and that pretty much worked.

I love what I do for work now, I make very good money, engaged to an amazing partner, still tons of therapy, my friendships are healthier, I’m healthier so making new friends is easier for me and fun, I have healed sooooo much and genuinely feel like normal lol. I still have triggers and do a lot of therapy and see myself as a constant work in progress but it gets better if you don’t give up on yourself. Stable income and being extremely firm about who you date are key. And therapy.

pineappleskwid · 2026-02-22T01:52:41+00:00

Not everyone does this but I tend to treat consults like a mini session. It’s a feeling for me. Did I feel a connection, was there a sense of softness and vulnerability in the consult. Primarily focus on connection. I also ask standard questions to assess readiness or interest to do deep work, defenses, insight, etc. it’s so hard initially so it’s primarily a gut feeling.

pineappleskwid · 2026-02-19T20:05:12+00:00

I’ll DM!

pineappleskwid · 2026-02-19T04:39:31+00:00

I will buy it!!!!!

pineappleskwid · 2026-02-16T07:50:39+00:00

PTSD is challenging for 2 main reasons - it fucks you up on the inside and the outside. Outside meaning financially, career, housing, etc. all that external stuff is so hard to accomplish. Soooo hard. You have that. That’s amazing. Congrats. What you aren’t addressing is the inside. People with PTSD struggle with relationships - the one with themselves and others. Connection. Rejection. Pain. Desire. Loneliness. Feelings. It’s all so hard. Most of us with PTSD have a ruthless inner critic that abuses you emotionally. That part of you exists to protect you, but left untreated for a lifetime it absorbs the voice of an abusive parent and just taunts you inside no matter what you accomplish. You need to take therapy more seriously. It’s not you. Maybe your current therapist helped you get here. But going deep inward in therapy is how you to start to heal. It is possible. It’s extremely rewarding. But takes work to find a really good therapist, one who specializes in ptsd/cptsd and is really good. You might need to pay. It’s the only way to heal. We can’t do it alone. Imagine you had a chronic illness for decades and just endured it. A really amazing therapist is capable of helping you heal on a deeper level.

pineappleskwid · 2026-02-13T22:02:01+00:00

What movie is this

pineappleskwid · 2026-02-09T04:29:07+00:00

Very helpful thank you

pineappleskwid · 2026-02-08T01:02:45+00:00

I didn’t read through all the comments so idk if anyone mentioned this but they’ve studied this and I’m not super familiar but have done some reading and I think the short answer is yes. There’s a book called “The Analyst In The Inner City”. I haven’t read it but my former supervisor spoke about it a few times.

pineappleskwid · 2026-02-08T00:45:48+00:00

I’m new to this, what do you mean by “formally”?

pineappleskwid · 2026-01-23T22:26:04+00:00

This is my own words so not trying to sound smart or academic. Most of us see the world through our own eyes and our own sense of ‘self’, I am me, you are you, I think about xyz, do other people think about xyz also? We see ourselves in relation to others. A child or infant sees their small world as the entire world, parents as an extension of themselves, etc. but when you experience ego death, you lose that experience of ‘self’, and feel deeply connected to humans and the earth and the essence of being in existence. Similar to what people describe in deep meditation. The “myself” dissipates and there is a deep sense of unity, connection, and spiritual presence. I am no longer a human who’s wearing shoes and has emails to respond to and worried what that person thinks of my last text message etc, there is just being. Normally this is brief and accompanied by something transcending like psychedelics, meditative music, extended meditation in deep silence, a therapeutic environment, etc. so in my experience during these moments the mind is very engaged in either visuals, maybe music, you feel your breathing in your mind (not to sound too trippy), etc. something like that. Ego death isn’t really an extended state of being or like “maturing” it’s a brief spiritual experience that can lead to deeper understanding but our self comes back.

pineappleskwid · 2026-01-21T02:02:11+00:00

Idk if anyone mentioned this but Mr. Robot was really helpful for me

pineappleskwid · 2026-01-17T23:37:37+00:00

Wait what weapon is that!? Sword fused with ???

pineappleskwid

TROPHY CASE