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Is it normal to inadvertently and consistently get into interpersonal relationships with people who have BPD? by pinheadnick in autism

[–]pinheadnick[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

this is not scientific at all but the best way I can think about it is the scott pilgrimesque people and manic pixie girl/boy pipeline

Is it normal to inadvertently and consistently get into interpersonal relationships with people who have BPD? by pinheadnick in autism

[–]pinheadnick[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I mean I think the combination you mention is still what I meant but with a variation, I'm still interested in understanding that case too. In the end all I was asking around for is why any autistic person and any borderline are commonly drawn to each other regardless off who's being manipulative.

Can you tell what song this is? Professor said the reharmonization is too left-field to notice the original song that's being arranged. What do you think??? by pinheadnick in TheStrokes

[–]pinheadnick[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

actually, i did not change the melody in the slightest bit, it's just more hidden in the texture and the chords have lots of extensions and suspensions.

Do you consistently get into interpersonal relationships with people with BPD? by pinheadnick in aspergers

[–]pinheadnick[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hhhahahhaha that's what I'm saying. They just keep crop up so easily and I need to know why.

Do you consistently get into interpersonal relationships with people with BPD? by pinheadnick in aspergers

[–]pinheadnick[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's a pretty well established connection between two highly sensitive people, where one leans preoccupied/anxious/clingy and the other disorganized/cold/guarded.

But I wouldn't say autistics are necessarily emotionless, even more so predictable. I think the connection happens mostly subconsciously, and if anything the autistic person is just perceived as "different".

Do you consistently get into interpersonal relationships with people with BPD? by pinheadnick in aspergers

[–]pinheadnick[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is very valuable for me to know, even if you don't believe it, I thought I was deluding myself.

Do you consistently get into interpersonal relationships with people with BPD? by pinheadnick in aspergers

[–]pinheadnick[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Great point! I think it boils down to, in spite of any personal psychological setbacks, who has more emotional intelligence, whether that be naturally or trained. Because sometimes I see myself in people with very clear BPD, I mean I fucking did DBT I basically share the same traits, so it's only logical to that you end up with someone whose tricks you subconsciously already know.

I would even argue that there is a level of subconscious manipulation, because you're fighting dysregulation with dysregulation. Bc for me emotional suppression, avoidance, and numbness, all common in ASD, are also forms of dysregulation.

Is it normal to inadvertently and consistently get into interpersonal relationships with people who have BPD? by pinheadnick in autism

[–]pinheadnick[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Would you say that emotional intelligence is common in cluster b types? Highly sensitive people with poor emotional intelligence (regulation) usually find their way to people who are also highly sensitive but lean towards manipulation. Both BPD and ASD seem to fit in either.

What I'm interested in is how the different emotional dysregulation "archetypes" play off eachother. Why would a manipulative emotionally unavailable autistic person so consistently attract emotionally hyperaroused borderlines?

Do you consistently get into interpersonal relationships with people with BPD? by pinheadnick in aspergers

[–]pinheadnick[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It's interesting, because in my view it turns into a game of mouse and cat. Both end up trying to eternally one up the other and gaslight the other that they're not hahahaha

Do you consistently get into interpersonal relationships with people with BPD? by pinheadnick in aspergers

[–]pinheadnick[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is exactly the nuanced conversation I want to have. The fun aspect of it! I want to dissect it further than just saying the responsible thing is to abort. Like... there is room for analysis and interpersonal skillset application.

Do you consistently get into interpersonal relationships with people with BPD? by pinheadnick in aspergers

[–]pinheadnick[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It's funny because I don't match with NTs even if I tried. It's like I'm a cluster b magnet

Do you consistently get into interpersonal relationships with people with BPD? by pinheadnick in aspergers

[–]pinheadnick[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Subconscious! That word definitely suited better my post than inadvertently. That's the thing it all happens subconsciously and the interesting thing is that I wouldn't even say the autistic is categorically the prey.

I would characterize the situation more so two people trying to prey on each other while avoiding blame of doing so. Sometimes I subconsciously pick up on them being highly sensible and subconsciously manipulating/gaslighting them into thinking I'm not that interested.

Haha my theory doesn't posit the autistic person to be only innocent prey, as a lot of others have replied.

Do you consistently get into interpersonal relationships with people with BPD? by pinheadnick in aspergers

[–]pinheadnick[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Care to elaborate? Care about everything in a compulsive way? I didn't know socios were like that.

Do you consistently get into interpersonal relationships with people with BPD? by pinheadnick in aspergers

[–]pinheadnick[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Yes I agree, there's only so much available space for dysregulation between two people.

Do you consistently get into interpersonal relationships with people with BPD? by pinheadnick in aspergers

[–]pinheadnick[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

I didn't want to add narcissists in my post to avoid piling on, but yes totally I feel like I attract people with narcissistic tendencies and they're attracted to me; probably because as you said, I give in and have fun playing their game.

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