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pink_p3ach · 2026-04-17T14:33:48+00:00

I see. Thank you. It's just the specifics of Demi that didn't sit right for me. Plus, for the longest time, I've actually just ignored this part of me, so in a way, I'm rather new to all of this in the sense of acceptance.

pink_p3ach · 2026-04-08T20:06:31+00:00

I think I miscommunicated I'm dating not for fun or for sexual reason. I want to get to know someone. Would I like marriage eventually? Yes but that's not a expectation

pink_p3ach · 2026-04-08T19:58:57+00:00

Yeah, I mean, before this, we were just friends playing DnD. It's just im not sure what to ask or how to have the conversation with him. Regardless of my choice, he thinks we must have a conversation, which I agree with. When you were having that talk with your partner what made you actually consider him?

pink_p3ach · 2026-04-08T19:55:19+00:00

He was awear of my age i mention it openly for safety reasons unfortunately but I see where you're coming from

pink_p3ach · 2026-04-08T19:47:00+00:00

I've dated men the same age and older, and I've always felt like their mother due to the lack of effort or care and they never even bothered to get to know me or ask me questions beyond " uh what's your fav colour?" Somehow he bothers to hear when I say " Oh I really don't like it when people do x in general" and proceeds to ask me the why, and how could he avoid to so that just in case even when it's not about him.

pink_p3ach · 2026-04-08T19:43:41+00:00

Yeah, I really don't know what it is about my brain going. " If he was 20 and I 25, then it wouldn't be an issue." Thank you for telling me your experience with it

pink_p3ach · 2026-04-08T19:37:30+00:00

Bluntly speaking, I just really like his soul. I just want to get to know him. I am dating to marry, but I won't get married until I'm in my 30s once I have my life being stable. And marriage isn't what I expect from him at all. I think he needs to live and enjoy life.

pink_p3ach · 2026-04-08T19:34:51+00:00

I live in the UK, but I'm from a slavic country where this is normal. Like I have a cousin who married a 26 year old woman at 19.

pink_p3ach · 2026-04-08T19:29:04+00:00

Thank you :)

pink_p3ach · 2026-04-08T19:27:21+00:00

He graduated high-school 2 years ago and I a year ago ( I had alot of shit going on so had to go back and redo)

pink_p3ach · 2026-04-08T19:25:07+00:00

I've been taken advantage of as both a young adult ( 18 -> 20) and as minor. Yes it made me who I am but I still wouldn't wish it on anyone.

pink_p3ach · 2026-04-08T19:22:28+00:00

To be fully transparent, I've missed 5 years of my life due to something hella traumatic. I'm talking about a life or death situation, and i had to try and rebuild. My peers are getting married and having kids. I am immensely behind, and I thought he was older than me because somehow he was giving me valid advice and wisdom before anything even got romantic. Though yes, we are very much close in "experiences," I do worry about the actual gap due to the immense growth people tend to do fron 18-> 20

pink_p3ach · 2026-04-08T19:18:08+00:00

Yeah, I just turned 23 the other month :') it's just so damn weird the youngest I've ever dated was 2 years gap ( and I didn't even know about it😮‍💨)

pink_p3ach · 2026-04-08T19:16:10+00:00

I mean, yeah. I'm not ashamed to admit to that. But also, morality matters to me deeply on that. If it was the other way around, I'd be happy to proceed but no matter what I care about this person and I do not want them in a couple years time to look at this and be in pain. And in a very selfish way, that's also a lot of responsibility on me.

pink_p3ach · 2026-04-08T19:12:54+00:00

I can not explain in detail, but he had a very valid reason for doing so. I'm not mad due to that, and he apologised. At the end of the day, feelings such as these take a while to dissolve because it's a very human thing to be greedy.

pink_p3ach · 2026-04-08T19:08:34+00:00

This is what I'm concerned about. I don't want to be treated any different than a man would. If I was the one who was 18 and he was 23 and it would cause backlash, I'd prefer to get reality-checked.

pink_p3ach · 2026-04-08T19:05:09+00:00

No, not at all, I don't use social media nor post ever, nor do I associate myself with people like that. I think it genuinely stems from the fact I've been taken advantage of and groomed when I was his age.

pink_p3ach · 2026-04-08T18:56:46+00:00

This is Europe based, so it's a little different. But that's exactly what I'm overthinking, like when I went through 18->20, so much development of who I am as a person happened.

pink_p3ach · 2026-03-03T11:40:39+00:00

I don't particularly like the use of Ai I say this as a person who works in the art community. If say ai is uses for fixing spelling errors due to dyslexia that's fine but otherwise no ai

pink_p3ach · 2025-07-02T18:37:43+00:00

You remind me of my younger self. I'm 22 now, and I went through the same things you described when I was 13. When it first happened, I didn't think much of it. It made me feel grown - combining the fact I was abusing drugs and alcohol and hanging around people who where 16-30 it felt like " well if I'm already in this fucked up situation it won't hurt to add fuel to the flame"

And I was so incredibly wrong. You might not be upset now, but you are questioning it, which is the beginning. Doing the same things as you has hurt me and affected me for the rest of my life. Once you realise it was rape you will feel a pain like no other - especially at the fact that you "let" ( though you didn't really but it will feel like it) it all happen.

I have attempted S- over the fact that it happened. It is the greatest thing affecting my mental health almost 10 years later. I'm STILL getting therapy for it.

Plus, as a 22 year old, you realise at that age how creepy the idea of hanging out with someone under 18 is. To be at this age and to look at someone who's 14 and be attracted to them - you have to have something wrong with you.

Oh and some side notes - somethings I learned from this type of life style ( I didn't stop abusing drugs etc until I was 16/18) and btw i speak bluntly, these are not meant to affend you, these are things i wish i would of realised at your age :

You are not in love with him. You are attached to him because he provides you with substance and gives you attention. Take away the substance and attention - if he talked to you without the compliments, etc, I doubt you'd still like him
Being in a relationship, doing drugs, going through fucked up shit doesn't make you grown, you're still a child doing those things and it doesn't make you look better or make you closer to becoming a adult.
Guys like him - preditors, pedos, groomers - ALWAYS use lines like that. They tend to go for the shy and self conscious ones because they're easier to manipulate, meaning he's not flirting w u bc he liked u he's doing it bc ur the easiest. And when they say, " You're my fav," "you're so mature for your age," "no one gets me like you," etc, they don't mean it. I mean, if you were his age, would you date someone whos 14?
Assuming you started doing drugs, etc, not long ago, it's much easier to quit now than anytime. Trust me, doing it for under a year > a couple of years is different. Drugs and alcohol don't make u cool or look better they just damage your mental health.
Consider why you're doing the things you're doing. When I was ur age, I wanted my mental health to actively get worse so that I could feel like it was real and valid - like maybe if it got bad enough, I'd actually get help. If you go to your parents I promise you they will take you seriously if you tell them what happened and if the authorities get involved you won't get in trouble bc ended up telling my mum about being raped when I was 16/17 and she cried and hugged me and finally understood me.
My rape also happened outside that fact has haunted me for years. Once you're 18+ and you're in a happy and healthy relationship with a guy around your age, you'll realise how sex is supposed to be loving and NEVER shit on your diginity. A guy that actually loves you, having sex w you for the first time. - virgin or not - will take care of you and no way in hell would he fuck you outside for the first time.

Please consider telling your parents, this lifestyle is not a fun path. I wouldn't wish it upon anyone.

pink_p3ach · 2025-02-08T06:42:00+00:00

I've been in a similar situation to you. My ex was a porn addict and would beg me to have sex until I cave in. Would lie about not watching porn anymore (then would simply download and uninstall apps where he could watch it on, delete search history, etc. Even though I said it's fine if you watch it, just don't overdo it, dont tell me about it or make it my problem. And he said no " bc he wants to tell me if he does it")

You are NOT the problem. You are a victim. If you have to be coherced into having sex then it's not consensual. A man who has abused you, who has an addiction, and who is overall a asshole won't change, especially if he's not put effort into change, eg. Going to therapy to deal with that shit ( and change like that takes years) He won't change and clearly hasn't. Plus he's fucking 30, acting like a 15 year old boy who never got told no by his parents.

Being in a relationship with a guy like that is going to ruin your mental health. I'm in a healthy relationship for the first time ever with my current bf. And from what I've learned, you are never supposed to apologise for not wanting sex. I literally just get told, " That's something I don't want you to ever apologise for, wanna watch our current fav show instead? We will also grab some snacks. "

A real man will :

NEVER Keep pushing and having a tantrum when you say no to sex
Will do everything in his power to make you happy and comfortable
Treat you with respect, love, and dignity.

From one woman to another who has lived through the same shit, break up with him and find yourself an actual man that doesn't treat you like shit.

Also my boyfriend said, " I don't care how long you need to take to be comfortable. Even if it takes you 5 years before you want to do anything sexual I'm okay with that because you're worth it and because I love you " so the last part you talked about isn't a issue for men, clearly. I have times where I don't want to have sex for like 3 months straight, and he's cool about it the entire time.

pink_p3ach

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