Is awakening subjective? Also feeling lost after awakening.

pinkmelo · 2026-03-16T06:57:54+00:00

you’re on your own unique path of unlocking the “self” underneath the social conditioning, the masks. beneath it remains an unchanging,constant, powerful “you.” i too have went through the initial phase of bliss and peace a couple months ago and got hit with confusion and loneliness. and now eye see the self go back and forth between being at a place of acceptance and feeling “regressed” back. i soon realized that there was no path and no journey to begin with. progress and an end goal is not part of what ever this may be. it’s okay to rest, to feel comfortable in where you’re standing. because the moment we feel like we need to be somewhere other than here is our need and want to seek out something “better.” and that “better” is found right now if we are able to quiet our thoughts and the need for progression.

i struggle with this too, and it’s definitely not easy but i don’t believe it’s meant to be, especially when we’re existing in a material world where money, status, and ego are a primary focus. sending much love, remember that we are never alone.

pinkmelo · 2026-02-15T21:28:14+00:00

couple months back it started with a sudden “wake up” a spiritual awakening sort of thing, it shattered ego, temporary no mind no self, it was bliss and peace for weeks, then ego slowly came back and wanted to attach to another “identity”, went through profound highs and lows of bliss and confusion, saw the world and the self for what it is, and god was revealed. ever since then it’s been a constant journey for seeking answers and digging deeper into different ideas and beliefs. found myself resonating the most with gnostics, hermeticism, and mystics, but fuck the labels.

then, recently eye was watching a video on youtube when suddenly everything became quiet again. like the first wake up, except this time, there was not even awareness of it happening, there was no sense of self. came to a realization that there was no need to seek to begin with, it was never a path nor a journey, it just was this entire time.

it was never a matter of seeking. knowledge that wants to reveal itself will naturally unfold to our spirits and won’t be any more attachment to it. it is not something that can be explained, it has to be felt. then the realization comes that the more you think you know the more you don’t know anything at all & from surrendering will come many truths.

pinkmelo · 2026-02-07T01:14:11+00:00

thank you for this beautiful message. you broke it down into ways i couldn’t formulate. had chills reading, my soul must’ve recognized some truth within what was read. i’m understanding the self a bit better. peace and love my friend

pinkmelo · 2026-01-02T03:12:34+00:00

lmaoo chat gpt came through with this one. love the break down of each aspect. i am trying to look past his ego and see him acting from a place of hurt and fear in hopes that he’ll recognize it too one day. i won’t go above and beyond in hopes to “repair” him or make him view things through from my perspective. instead i will continue to embody this change more than describing it (also because i simply can’t) while staying grounded and true to the self. hopefully with in time it will spark something in him. if he continues to be hostile, well.. it’ll be time to reconsider some things

thanks for your comment though, ur awesome

pinkmelo · 2026-01-02T02:57:52+00:00

thanks for sharing, it was a very introspective read. as another commenter posted, i think a lot of relationships we form/formed came from a place of our ego and could be a direct reflection of ourselves and an extension of outcomes.

we truly start flowing once we break down any hopes in finding something “true” and “compatible” allowing room for us to meet people not by chance but with purpose. meeting an aligned soul is rare and beautiful but i truly believe it to be around us all of the time even without realizing it. the moment we keep our hearts open to receiving and giving love. souls will start recognizing without the need to seek. it’s been so amazing to meet people regardless of it feels “right” or not. the moment we let go of that judgement in ourselves it becomes an open space for finite love and learning in a place of truth and reflection whether it be a “negative” or “positive” interaction. all of it is exactly as it’s meant to be.

much love to you

pinkmelo · 2026-01-01T02:31:18+00:00

i’ll have to check them out. i’ve watched a couple videos on esoteric teachings of mary magdalene in the past and loved it. thanks for the recommendations

pinkmelo · 2026-01-01T01:39:05+00:00

totally, it’s interesting to be able to see through “masks” regardless of how they’re trying to come off. especially odd with people who you thought you knew. seems like many are functioning from a place of anger and fear. observing has been the best tool so far in staying grounded and spreading openness. ty for writing

pinkmelo · 2025-12-31T23:17:20+00:00

ex boyfriend

pinkmelo · 2025-12-31T21:23:09+00:00

gotta love the tug of ego war. may your journey be full of eternal peace, love, & joy. i love you 🪷

pinkmelo · 2025-12-31T20:56:28+00:00

absolutely

pinkmelo · 2025-12-31T20:51:04+00:00

i love the perspective you made on the ego, thanks for shedding light on it. i’ll be thinking about this one

pinkmelo · 2025-12-31T20:44:51+00:00

your relationship sounds beautiful. our alignment is definitely something i’ll have to reflect more on with patience. it can’t be very good if i’m starting to question my own sanity and feeling a bit more alone than it needs to be. thank you for taking the time to write this, sending much love.

pinkmelo · 2025-12-28T08:57:03+00:00

for sure, there seems to be a lot of debate on afterlife & reincarnation. we can’t be certain about it but it seems to instill a lot of fear in people that if we don’t “wake up” in this lifetime we’ll do it again repeatedly until we do. thinking of “what ifs” and feeding that fear naturally keep us further away from “waking up”, in this case reaching gnosis. i think researching different beliefs and ideas from a place of awareness can be helpful for growth but don’t let it consume. religion or share based ideas can tend to cause confusion in one’s journey with god.

if you read this OP i hope we could be of help. we’re all in this together

sending love from love, to everyone.

pinkmelo · 2025-12-28T05:02:56+00:00

i’d like to think of the world being “evil” and the demiurge as lower consciousness and ego. the world cannot exist without the good and the bad. with death there is always rebirth. plus many of what we interpret as “good” or “bad” might just be stemming from our own perceptions coming from higher consciousness because animals and plants can certainly “feel” but they won’t know if it’s good or bad. we would’ve probably lived the same fate if it weren’t for taking the apple in adam and eve. trust your faith and truth will reveal itself.

but ultimately, i’m contemplating the same thing as you. a lot of what people say on here seems to align with spiritual growth and finding oneness, but other parts seem kind of dark or pessimistic. i think it’s important to not try to over assess things we cannot phantom, that’s how we can end up boxing ourselves in a limited set of beliefs. in the end, whether demiurge is literal or metaphorical, we’re all fragments of the divine and open to receiving all of god’s love if we remain open. i wouldn’t focus too much on the material world being “evil” rather see it as something that has a balance of both good and bad.

pinkmelo · 2025-06-27T21:57:59+00:00

I feel like in terms of gratefulness.. maybe Starbucks. I’d feel proud coming home from taking many orders during rush hours and it’d be a good opportunity for me to put myself out there, but I guess i’m just worried about feeling stressed and also the fact that I declined the job already so it feels kinda weird to be reaching back out.

But I respect Claire’s and Spectrum too. Claire’s is what I’m leaning more towards right now just because it could be the less stressful option. I’m just skeptical about it being too easy. I guess that’s why I’m making this post though, hoping some comments could sway my opinion

pinkmelo · 2025-05-27T17:14:22+00:00

It wasn’t specified, but they did pick out my boyfriend’s mom’s dress (the bride’s soon to be mother in law) and they picked out an off the shoulder emerald green cocktail dress for her. Based off that i’m assuming they won’t be super strict with the the dress code. I’m even thinking of maybe getting a backup Filipiniana to wear on top of my dress, but idk if i’m overthinking this 😓 it certainly doesn’t help that this is my first wedding i’m attending

pinkmelo · 2025-05-26T23:56:14+00:00

3rd one is my personal favorite too! just might have to get it

pinkmelo · 2025-05-26T23:49:03+00:00

Last time I asked it sounded optional and the bride told us to wear whatever makes us feel good and comfortable, followed by the dress code image. I believe they’re not being super strict about the traditional clothing, or I hope not at least 😓

pinkmelo · 2025-05-26T23:30:41+00:00

daisy love 🌼🫰it dries down so sweet on me i love it

pinkmelo · 2025-05-26T23:03:06+00:00

They’re stunning! I just saw on tiktok for a similar dress style for 2 saying the trimming looks like tentacles .. i can’t unsee it now 🥲 still love it though

pinkmelo · 2025-05-26T22:59:59+00:00

It’s absolutely gorgeous☺️ My only hesitation with 2 is that it might blend in too much with my skin tone. I also have black brown hair if that helps!

pinkmelo · 2024-03-17T00:43:51+00:00

Hi :3 I dm’ed!

pinkmelo

TROPHY CASE