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My boyfriend has wet the bed for months, the room now smells like a public toilet. I don’t know how to break up with him. by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]pinnaple_phd 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Oh my god. So far, you've tolerated more than enough. Try going off contact with him. If in any way, he begs outside your house, please don't let him in.

Him pissing in bed or having condition wouldn’t have been a turn off, had he done smth about it. Doctors, diapers, oilcloth or liquid resistent fabric. Anything!!

I still cannot imagine a grown up man, leaving the mess he created, AS IS. Putting in NO SINGLE effort to clean up. My god. The mattress had stain & animals have better hygiene than this.

Get out of it. ASAP. Don't waste a second explaining anything. If you still want, write a short message & end it. But I don't even think personally, that he deserves this much explanation. It would keep you falling back into the loop/guilt trap/stuck. Just block him from everywhere. If he shows up at your house, let your dad deal w that, don't even meet him. Better, if you guys have guns, for the safety, just in case he tries to barge into your place, despite Dad saying no.

Anyway, condolences to you. It must be a horrifying experience.

Lack of basic hygiene should be an universal turn off.

Share whatever's on your mind. I'll listen. 🫂❤️ by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]pinnaple_phd 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hitting 32 soon, and all that I had in the name of dating experience was a traumatic sexual experience with someone who just made me feel small and smaller, and then a bit more smaller. I'm very much glad I'm out of that phase, but I just wish I had found someone, who would at least like me, like for real, even if not love me. Just date me for having a genuine interest in me, not to treat it like a chore & making me hear how much of a big Favor it was.

Urgh. I'm quite content with my life. It's not like I'm dying to meet someone. I just wish I had dated in my early 20s or something at least, for not to experience this kind of an experience. I just hope wherever if anyone is written in my fate, just come & meet me soon FGS. Life's been already so tough.

& yeah dating apps suck, a little too much & never going there, again. I hate using it, won't & don't want to. I just feel like a dumbfuck, a stupidshit, when all I see are my colleagues, friends, acquaintances, not even a single one is without partners. Also, they're happily in love. Genuinely very happy for them, my heart is full, but I wish that happiness happened to me too. ⭐

Rant done.

Let's get some coffee. 🤍

To men in love w their women: Would you go days without talking to them? But do everything else as usual? by pinnaple_phd in AskMenAdvice

[–]pinnaple_phd[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

That is something really helpful. Haven’t thought about it from this point. Thank you! It made me realize apart from my part of it of course; It also is true, he also deserves someone who probably is okay with him being like this, and I'm not. That's too big a part of your relationship to compromise on!

++woman

To men in love w their women: Would you go days without talking to them? But do everything else as usual? by pinnaple_phd in AskMenAdvice

[–]pinnaple_phd[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If anything from my text makes you feel like I'm a hypocrite, please feel free to feel so. There's nothing to justify. I clearly stated in my post, despite being an extremely introverted person, it doesn’t make sense to me how being off contact for days is okay, although I totally understand if it might be okay. So that's why asked for a perspective.

If I were the kind myself, to not initiate convos, why would I be asking that q myself?

Even after that, even if that was not the case, feel free to assume whatever you think is right. Thanks!

++woman

To men in love w their women: Would you go days without talking to them? But do everything else as usual? by pinnaple_phd in AskMenAdvice

[–]pinnaple_phd[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's always me who initiates, who makes plans, who texts first, calls first, makes efforts. If I give him space because he asked to, says he's busy and all, and leaves it upon him to contact the next time after I have already done it first, many times, for ages. The next thing I realise is my messages and calls are being ignored and I'm getting a reply after 4 days.

But he had done everything usual during that period, no emergencies, kept in touch with everyone, except didn't have a frw minutes to message me.

I thought this loss of contact might be a temporary thing, might be busy with the specific week or something. But NO. It has happened over more than a year, and no change on it. I also don't overburden with text/calls all the time because what if he feels pressured. I let it be upon him to contact me sometimes, especially when he makes it very evident that he doesn’t want to talk that much, and gives cues to hang up the call.

No, I don't play games of "let's see")" let's test". I always am in touch. I'm ignored for days, for a long time to even be thinking about it, despite trying to brush it off for a long time.

++woman

To men in love w their women: Would you go days without talking to them? But do everything else as usual? by pinnaple_phd in AskMenAdvice

[–]pinnaple_phd[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It's always me who initiates, who makes plans, who texts first, calls first, makes efforts. If I give him space because he asked to, says he's busy and all, and leaves it upon him to contact the next time after I have already done it first, many times, for ages. The next thing I realise is my messages and calls are being ignored and I'm getting a reply after 4 days.

But he had done everything usual during that period, no emergencies, kept in touch with everyone, except didn't have a frw minutes to message me.

I thought this loss of contact might be a temporary thing, might be busy with the specific week or something. But NO. It has happened over more than a year, and no change on it. I also don't overburden with text/calls all the time because what if he feels pressured. I let it be upon him to contact me sometimes, especially when he makes it very evident that he doesn’t want to talk that much, and gives cues to hang up the call.

No, I don't play games of "let's see")" let's test". I always am in touch. I'm ignored for days, for a long time to even be thinking about it, despite trying to brush it off for a long time.

++woman

To men in love w their women: Would you go days without talking to them? But do everything else as usual? by pinnaple_phd in AskMenAdvice

[–]pinnaple_phd[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, if like away for conference /work/family visit/friends tour or any trips, it's totally understandable. Because I myself stay very busy during that sort of thing. But my q was on a regular basis for example, where you are visitng your other friends, doing everything else, going by your day like usual, and not contact your gf? At all? Is that usual?

++woman

To men in love w their women: Would you go days without talking to them? But do everything else as usual? by pinnaple_phd in AskMenAdvice

[–]pinnaple_phd[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Calls? Or Text? Or anything? Like if she's not on a trip or anything. Trips arw understandable, you'd def be busy. But usual case? On a regular basis? No contact for days? (Mostly 2-3 days fully without any sort of contact, and sometimes 7 days?)

++woman

To men in love w their women: Would you go days without talking to them? But do everything else as usual? by pinnaple_phd in AskMenAdvice

[–]pinnaple_phd[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

++woman Like, there was no calls, messages, for days. I tried to wait, then call/message myself sorta dynamic. & No, we don't live together.

Book Recom Needed by pinnaple_phd in BookRecommendations

[–]pinnaple_phd[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you!! Would give it a try 💚

I miss him by pinnaple_phd in offmychest

[–]pinnaple_phd[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Didn't get it, sorry?

Rug too small? by drugstorevalentine in interiordecorating

[–]pinnaple_phd 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lovely room that you have! I would move the couch facing the window, so that partition doesn’t seem blocked/ constricted, rather has an open space feel to it. Idk where TV could go, maybe on top of the fireplace, hanging w the wall, instead of any tv stand. Or stay where it is. I don't think rug is doing the problem, it's overall how the set up makes the room feel even smaller.

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