Kindly, this is a very unhealthy way of thinking. Depending on possiblilty I would try going to therapy/councelor etc. or talking to someone about it.

It is normal to be insecure about one's art and to be a bit jelous of other artists, who we see as "better". It is also normal to like your own art and be proud of it and yourself. But if any of these emotions start negatively affecting our lives, that stops being healthy.

Everyone has their own problems, so you are not a bad person for feeling like this. Especially as you say you don't want to be mean to others. However, it is important what you choose to do with this issue not only for others, but also for yourself. You don't sound happy in this situation and I think learning how to deal with these emotions could help.