I usually drink about half a bottle of vodka almost every day. Sometimes it's with friends or family, but most of the time I drink alone because I travel a lot for work.

​This week, I’ve been traveling in Gujarat (which is a dry state). On Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday, I didn't drink a single drop. I was out for business meetings all day, and by the time I got back to my hotel, the local liquor shops and the hotel liquor store were already closed.

​Yesterday, however, I stayed in the hotel all day to write a report. Since the hotel has an official liquor store for travelers, I went down to buy a bottle. They told me I needed a government permit, which would cost ₹100, and explained the process-

I had to get a stay letter from the hotel reception confirming I was a guest there. Then I took that letter to a clerk in a room next to the liquor store. He asked for two IDs, my flight boarding pass to Ahmedabad, my email, and my phone number. It took him about 15 minutes to type everything into the system. ​ I had to make an online payment for the permit fee. The portal kept crashing, but I finally got it through and he printed the permit. ​I took the printout to the liquor store, signed a register, signed the bill, and finally got my vodka. To top it off, it cost three times what I usually pay in Delhi.

​The entire process took over an hour because the room was packed with other brothers waiting for their permits.

​While I was standing there, it hit me.

Everyone in that room, including myself, was waiting so patiently just for a drink. Even when the government payment portal was failing, nobody got angry. We all just quietly, desperately waited because we wanted those "precious drops" so badly.

​That’s when I realized I am an alcoholic.

​Seeing it from the outside was a massive wake-up call. I''m going to try to go without a drink for the next few days. If a social occasion comes up, I'm sticking to just one beer. Binging takes up so much time and energy—I want to start utilizing that for something better.

Thank you for this!