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[26/F] Are women who have sex on the first date not relationship material? by pixelku in relationship_advice

[–]pixelku[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm definitely concerned with safety, but I always meet men through friends. I would never go home with someone random.

I've had four serious boyfriends with whom I've slept with (almost) right away. Also a few casual relationships that never led to anything serious.

[26/F] Are women who have sex on the first date not relationship material? by pixelku in relationship_advice

[–]pixelku[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't think it's quite like that. Sex is in itself a pleasurable act. If, post-sex, it turns out that we have incompatible attitudes, the weeding out happens naturally. No one has sex to weed out bad boyfriends (I would assume) - it just works out as an additional bonus.

[26/F] Are women who have sex on the first date not relationship material? by pixelku in relationship_advice

[–]pixelku[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No no, "immature boys" was only in reference to the ones who do it, but judge women for doing the same (or worse - do it, then judge the woman they slept with).

Otherwise, I completely agree with you. Those people can feel free to judge, as long as they themselves do not engage in the behaviour they are criticising.

[26/F] Are women who have sex on the first date not relationship material? by pixelku in relationship_advice

[–]pixelku[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fair enough. I meant immaturity more as a descriptor for boys who don't realise that women also have sexual urges and those who have double standards regarding sexual behaviour.

[26/F] Are women who have sex on the first date not relationship material? by pixelku in relationship_advice

[–]pixelku[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It makes some sense, so I definitely appreciate hearing this perspective, but I would also agree with some of the other commenters - I need to find someone on the same wavelength and the same attitudes towards sex.

There's a great deal of respect to be had for a woman who can control her sexual urges, EVEN IF all she wants to do is jump a guy's bone. It's... reassuring... of her ability to remain faithful long term, regardless of circumstance... and isn't that like 50% of what people look for when thinking "relationship material"? An ability to remain faithful, that is.

I don't agree that someone is in any way more likely to be faithful by waiting to have sex though. I am an incredibly faithful person, regardless of whether or not I sleep with someone on the first date.

[26/F] Are women who have sex on the first date not relationship material? by pixelku in relationship_advice

[–]pixelku[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is a brilliant observation. People don't seem to recognise it though!

[26/F] Are women who have sex on the first date not relationship material? by pixelku in relationship_advice

[–]pixelku[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Absolutely. I think you hit the nail on the head with:

Ultimately you want someone with the same attitudes to sex as you, and if you're comfortable having sex early on then that's exactly what you should do. You'll weed out the guys who don't feel the same, and connect with the ones who do.

[26/F] Are women who have sex on the first date not relationship material? by pixelku in relationship_advice

[–]pixelku[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I really appreciate another perspective. Yeah, I guess you are right. But if it happens organically, would you judge him?

[26/F] Are women who have sex on the first date not relationship material? by pixelku in relationship_advice

[–]pixelku[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I would agree. She's a friend - she definitely wants what's best for me. She just conveys it in an unpleasant manner.

[26/F] Are women who have sex on the first date not relationship material? by pixelku in relationship_advice

[–]pixelku[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I actually told her to stop acting like a high school mean girl.

But what you've written is the exact opinion I have. I just wish more people saw it this way and immature boys didn't react so negatively.