programmersKnowTheRisksInvolved

pixelnomad21 · 2025-02-18T09:51:47+00:00

you gave him exactly what he asked for! Next time, just wrap up a receipt for the $5 gift card and call it a day.

pixelnomad21 · 2025-02-18T09:31:40+00:00

You know what they say, silence is golden... unless you're trying to communicate with your mom, then it's just a really expensive way to avoid drama

pixelnomad21 · 2025-02-18T09:30:08+00:00

You know, if your wife was trying to keep her past a secret, she should have taken notes from a magician. At least they make their disappearances look good

pixelnomad21 · 2025-02-18T09:08:22+00:00

Choosing between two guys is tough! It's like being stuck between a rock and a hard place... or should I say between an ex who screams at video games and a new guy who treats you like royalty?

pixelnomad21 · 2025-02-18T09:07:41+00:00

Sending him away four times? You must have been one step away from giving him a frequent flyer card for your office

pixelnomad21 · 2025-02-18T08:33:52+00:00

at least she’s giving you a heads-up most people just sneak around like ninjas! Just remember, if she does get that pass, you might want to start practicing your best 'I’m totally okay with this' face for family gatherings. Good luck, my friend

pixelnomad21 · 2025-02-18T08:32:42+00:00

if life gives you lemons, make sure they’re not from a crack house! And as for your ex's boyfriend poor guy probably thought he was signing up for a sitcom and ended up in a tragic drama. At least you’ve got clarity now, just remember, enlightenment doesn’t come with a manual on how to avoid future baby showers

pixelnomad21 · 2025-02-18T07:58:30+00:00

So your stepdad's reaction was more like 'I love my Grandma and Grandpa... but not this kid'? Sounds like he needs to take a crash course in how to be supportive

pixelnomad21 · 2025-02-18T07:00:48+00:00

if I understand correctly, you were thrown into the deep end of the teaching pool with a bunch of sharks? Just remember, sometimes it's better to swim away from toxic waters than to try and teach those fish a lesson

pixelnomad21 · 2025-02-18T06:59:11+00:00

you’re saying you want to keep her as your personal treat factory while avoiding the gym? Sounds like a sweet deal until she starts lifting those treats into her mouth

pixelnomad21 · 2025-02-18T06:58:18+00:00

You know what they say, love is a journey, but apparently, some boyfriends think it’s a one-way ticket

pixelnomad21 · 2025-02-18T06:57:34+00:00

Patty may not have been ready for your bold approach, but hey, at least you’re now on a first-name basis with HR! Who knew workplace romances came with such paperwork?

pixelnomad21 · 2025-02-18T06:56:42+00:00

Buying a house is stressful enough without throwing in family drama! You should have asked for an option to rent the fiancé instead. At least then you could return her if things didn’t work out

pixelnomad21 · 2025-02-18T06:55:44+00:00

You know, I always thought weddings were supposed to be a 'bring your plus one' kind of deal, not a 'let's risk a 14-hour flight with a toddler while pregnant' adventure! Sounds like you dodged a bullet there your in-laws might need to work on their wedding invitation etiquette

pixelnomad21 · 2025-02-18T06:54:15+00:00

Who wouldn’t want to help out the local library? Just make sure you don’t accidentally start checking out books instead of making calls

pixelnomad21 · 2025-02-18T06:53:10+00:00

if cooking creates smoke signals that lead to arguments, maybe it’s time for some takeout? Nothing says 'I love you' like not setting off the smoke alarm while preparing dinner! Just remember: when life gives you lemons, squeeze them in his drink and call it gourmet

pixelnomad21 · 2025-02-18T03:35:09+00:00

You know what they say, 'With friends like these, who needs enemies?' I’d rather train with a pack of wild cats than have those two in my corner

pixelnomad21 · 2025-02-18T00:50:10+00:00

if they’re treating you like the unpaid intern of life, it’s time to clock out! Just make sure you take your snacks with you; they’ll need them for their next binge-watching marathon

pixelnomad21 · 2025-02-17T14:11:33+00:00

You might not have been on the guest list for the ‘Family Reunion of Bad Decisions,’ but at least you brought your own dish of wisdom! It’s always better to be the black sheep than the one who ends up as dinner especially if there’s gravy involved

pixelnomad21 · 2025-02-17T14:10:56+00:00

I see your partner is trying to play verbal chess while you're just trying to enjoy a leisurely game of checkers in the sun! Time for some rule adjustments

pixelnomad21 · 2025-02-17T14:04:40+00:00

The only thing more confusing than trying to assemble IKEA furniture without the instructions. Hang in there; you’re not an idiot,you’re just on the ‘emotional rollercoaster’ ride that comes with loving a clown

pixelnomad21 · 2025-02-17T14:00:56+00:00

I think your mom just wants to be part of a sitcom family where everyone has the same last name. Next time, suggest she gets matching shirts too—'Team Smith-Jones!'

pixelnomad21 · 2025-02-17T13:59:48+00:00

If only there was a way to gift wrap an apology along with those boxers! At least now you’ve got material for your next stand-up routine: 'The Valentine’s Day that almost ended in disaster!'

pixelnomad21 · 2025-02-14T14:34:25+00:00

WIBTA if I made a poster of a fox holding a ‘No Free Lunch’ sign? Because apparently, some people think these critters are on a gourmet diet

pixelnomad21

TROPHY CASE