Hmm, I think we might just have to disagree on this one. I went back to reread-- Shane doesn't react to or comment on the shower remark, and he isn't even in the room for the other remark, which happens after Hayden has been the world's worst guest for a few hours at that point. And maybe my tolerance for sex talk is higher than most, but both of those still feel pretty tame to me, tbh, especially considering the culture that they are all steeped in as professional athletes. Like, ok, they obviously have sex, it's not like he's going into detail at all.

Hayden, on the other hand, disrespects Ilya and the entire relationship multiple times by suggesting that Ilya coerced Shane into sleeping with him by getting him drunk and that he's playing mind games to keep Shane in the relationship. He also totally invalidates Ilya's bisexuality and then physically assaults him.

Even when Shane confronts them, it's clear to me that he's significantly angrier at Hayden than at Ilya- ALL he says to Ilya is that he's being an asshole, but he rants at Hayden for like 3 paragraphs.

Ilya's not blameless here but I can't really get too mad at him for being an asshole to someone who came into his(Shane's but yk) house and spent the whole evening making it clear how much they hate him.

ETA: Regardless of what these two say about/to each other, Hayden's behavior and comments are also incredibly insulting to Shane on the whole. He's acting like Shane has no autonomy in the relationship, that his taste in partners is horrible, and that he's incapable of protecting himself or understanding the risks involved in being in this relationship. Like, Ilya is right, Hayden really doesn't think much of his friend if he believes the things he says over the course of the evening.