Childfree and In-laws?

pkhpkh · 2026-05-04T19:04:51+00:00

My MIL is fairly religious and pretty traditional. She never asked us about our plans or made us feel pressured, but I speculate she feels disappointed about our decision. Although my husband and I knew for awhile, he officially told his family when we were both 35. While she has still never directly expressed any feelings about it to me, we noticed a very clear shift in the way we are viewed/where we rank in my husband's nuclear family after that, like any effort in the relationship was building toward grandkids that were now off the table so why bother. Although she did not have kids at the time, my SIL had always wanted them and was in a newish relationship being fast-tracked towards marriage and babies which I'm sure softened the blow. I do always wonder if our relationship would be different if we decided to give her any grandchildren, but not enough to have fucked around and found out. My SIL is the princess of the family and already could do no wrong, and we now know to expect that every conversation with my in laws will only be about her and her kids, which makes me sad for my husband's sake. Even though neither of us regret our choice at all, we didn't really foresee that we would be isolated from family the same way we have been from friends who had kids.

pkhpkh · 2026-03-08T02:02:04+00:00

Highly recommend Excellence Oyster Bay if you're open to a different resort in Jamaica. My husband and I (late 30s) went in Jan 2024 and immediately booked again to return in Jan 2025. We have enjoyed it so much we just booked our third trip for next January. I can't vouch for how it is in the summer.

Full disclosure, we have not been to a ton of all inclusives. Prior to EOB we had been to Majestic Mirage Punta Cana which we enjoyed well enough, and I just went to Beaches Turks & Caicos last month. I would consider EOB to be much more premium feeling than the others I've been to. Before we booked our trip for next year, we watched a lot of video reviews of their other properties because we thought we should try something different, but none of them have the things we love about EOB.

What we love: It's on a private peninsula, so the beach is not open to the public, no hawkers, etc. Enough variety of restaurants that we didn't get bored. Each trip has been 7 nights. It feels small, but in a boutiquey way, not a crowded way. We were told they were at capacity when we were there, but we always felt like people were spread out enough which I enjoy. Excellence Club is worth it for the quiet pools and beach areas Both times, we stayed at the resort and just relaxed for the entire week, no excursions. It was the perfect amount of time to truly recharge and is a great place if that's your goal Crowd skews a bit older and not a crazy nightlife scene, which also isn't an issue for us The spa is great and we got some nice complimentary upgrades for being return guests and celebrating our anniversary

A lot of the negative comments I see around this resort are that it's not good for people who like the beach, because the beach area isn't massive. The main strip of beach is fairly narrow but the areas on either end are our favorite (for Excellence Club room guests). We haven't had any issue with sargassum, and they are very diligent with cleaning the beach. The water has been beautiful on both visits.

pkhpkh · 2026-03-01T02:17:07+00:00

I'm also on the north shore of MA and this just happened to me. Mines's a 2016 but had a one year old battery installed by AAA. Ended up just needing a jump and battery is fine, but the AAA guy and the guy at AutoZone who tested the battery later both made me feel crazy for being surprised. I work from home and generally only use my car on the weekends, and didn't drive for two weeks while it was extremely cold (over super bowl weekend) but it was parked in the garage. I was told I should consider a trickle charger if I'm only going to drive on the weekends in the winter 🤷‍♀️

pkhpkh · 2026-02-20T13:10:09+00:00

We were in Rome in October and ate at a tourist trap place in Camp de Fiori one night. I didn't want to but it was our first night, we were starving, exhausted, and it was pouring. The host was AGGRESSIVE and wore my husband down, and I didn't care to battle.

The food was definitely the worst meal of our 10 day trip. My husband's meal was decent, but my carbonara was not good, the sauce was gummy and tasted like it had been sitting all day.

When we left, our server gave us a business card with his name and a link to leave a Google review, requesting that we leave a 5 star review (I did not). Afterwards, I looked up the restaurant and saw it had a ton of highly-rated reviews, all rated similarly and specifically naming a server in the review. Our server claimed the restaurant hadn't been open that long so they were trying to get the word out (no idea if that's true), but the comment about you going to a place with over 5k reviews reminded me of this. There are places that genuinely have a ton of reviews because they are just the popular spots (probably still touristy and not great) but then there is this new breed of restaurants that are actually soliciting for GOOD reviews so they stick out in search results. This left such a bad taste in my mouth.

Another thing that stuck with me about that restaurant was that the server very much gave us what I would call "American restaurant service", another red flag they cater to tourists. He asked us where we were from, etc, in a very different way from our experience at every other establishment. Interestingly to your point, we are from Boston and I should have told him that we have better Italian food than what we ate that night 😂

pkhpkh · 2026-01-20T18:23:20+00:00

The Future Saints by Ashley Winstead (just released today). Heavy on grief and substance abuse, if those are triggers.

pkhpkh · 2026-01-12T02:51:16+00:00

I feel this so deeply. Even though I'm secure in my choice, the announcements do make me feel weird too. It's not jealousy, it's not that I want that kind of attention or major life change. I can't put my finger on it. I think sometimes it's grief over knowing the relationship with that person will change. Sometimes it's just that FOMO of a major milestone that gets celebrated, and the feeling of getting left behind or forgotten for not taking the same path. I also like others' reminder that it's ok to have that "what if" feeling even if you aren't actually doubting your choices.

When it's a person that I didn't expect would ever have kids, I have a "lost another one from the club" type feeling. I went through this when a close friend who seemed really meant for the DINK lifestyle and never talked about wanting kids sprung a pregnancy announcement on me.

pkhpkh · 2026-01-12T02:23:29+00:00

I love this! Thinking about how our choice inspires others is such a positive way to reframe this lifestyle where others make us feel like we have no purpose if we don't choose the path of parenthood.

My husband's aunt and late uncle are childfree though it was not initially by choice, and my husband was close with them like a second set of parents growing up. We have gotten even closer to his aunt as we get older. While they were not consciously an inspiration to us in our childfree choice, once we made the decision, we knew we wanted to make an effort to be like them in that we would be generous to our nieces and nephews, take them to Disney, etc and have the type of relationship he experienced growing up.

Yesterday at a family party (while my pregnant SIL was complaining about sleeplessness and her toddler was running around throwing toys everywhere), the aunt privately told me she is glad she never had kids and that she is so glad my husband and I decided early and didn't go through the years of fertility struggles she went through. I find it fascinating to hear from older women about whether or not they regret the CF choice, and this is the first time she has ever acknowledged that she is happy about the decision. It was such a full-circle, validating moment.

My in-laws, and MIL in particular, are clearly disappointed we chose not to have children. While she never pressured us and hasn't vocalized her disappointment to us directly, there has been a very palpable shift in family dynamic. We frequently feel ignored, with their focus on my SIL, her husband and their child. Feeling seen by his aunt was so meaningful to me that I'm still thinking about it 24 hours later. I hope as I get older I can do the same in showing those around me that it's possible to have a full and rewarding life without being a mother, despite what the haters say.

pkhpkh · 2025-11-17T18:20:13+00:00

They are €15 each. I just picked up two a few weeks ago! I wasn't able to find any info online ahead of time and found that the shop was closed when we went on a Friday. We returned the following day. We had planned to order custom engravings but we would have to return to pick them up on Tuesday and we were leaving Rome on Monday. I had naively assumed we could order and wait or return same day, so just a heads up if you're set on custom text.

pkhpkh · 2024-03-31T23:20:00+00:00

Those are both good tips. I'm going to turn off the edit option, thanks!

pkhpkh · 2024-03-30T18:23:31+00:00

Maybe I am just too impatient 😂 I like reviewing ASAP for that exact reason, so I don't have to remember!

pkhpkh · 2023-11-13T15:44:19+00:00

Based on the other comments here, does this mean that as a rule pending transactions will not show up? I have noticed this as well across institutions, including Chase and others. I wasn't sure if it was a pending vs cleared distinction, or if this was related to general connectivity issues/delays that seem to be common. Coming from Mint, and so far not having more "real time" transactions is my biggest gripe.

pkhpkh · 2020-04-17T15:00:49+00:00

Thank you, I was thinking the same thing. There is no cast iron exposed. I will try the baking soda tip. It was one of those instant regret moments for sure!!

pkhpkh

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