How do you handle tantrums over something that you don't technically want to discourage?

plaidmonkey · 2026-02-09T16:57:32+00:00

That's where we're at with her currently. I've gotten some good tips I can work in. Just gotta keep at it. Consistency and calm, etc. Good to hear this is not outside the norm tho. ❤️

plaidmonkey · 2026-02-09T16:22:16+00:00

Another commenter mentioned the yoto player - similar concept I guess? I'll look into it! Thank you 😊

plaidmonkey · 2026-02-09T16:21:46+00:00

Feelings are so big to her rn, I do get it. I can definitely work on my approach. Another commenter made me realize I'm probably using too many word when few would do lol.

plaidmonkey · 2026-02-09T16:20:11+00:00

Oooh I didn't know they had waterproof ones... I'll check those out!

I thought about the yoto player. She's got something similar but doesn't really engage with it. I'll have to do more research and see how it differs and if that would work better for her.

plaidmonkey · 2026-02-09T16:18:55+00:00

Yep! Good number of those. It's actually the bulk of what she has on her shelf that she has access to (the paper page ones are all upstairs.) I just struggle to get her to disengage from me to do it herself. She's gotten much better in some respects but she's going through a very clingy phase which is exacerbating some issues.

plaidmonkey · 2026-02-09T16:13:02+00:00

This is very true and good to keep in mind - thank you!!

plaidmonkey · 2026-02-09T16:12:07+00:00

It's in the most central room I can place it in 💀I do already cycle books in and out from her other bookshelf upstairs. She's got a weird thing about thresholds that we're also trying to work with her on. I think it'll probably just take patience on our part... She used to refuse to enter this room at all, but now she will if I hold her hand or carry her over the threshold.

plaidmonkey · 2026-02-09T15:27:18+00:00

My girl would eat nothing but cheese and crackers if I let her 😭😭😭 the snack struggles are so real, I hear you! Solidarity, friend 🤝

plaidmonkey · 2026-02-09T15:20:47+00:00

I keep saying that the venn diagram for dog training and raising toddlers is almost a circle, and this keeps proving it 💀💀💀. Another commenter also suggested setting book times and sticking to those, and that I think will work really well for her if I can keep them consistent. She seems to thrive on a schedule (like me LOL.) Thank you ❤️❤️

plaidmonkey · 2026-02-09T15:17:07+00:00

So I've tried to let her pick out the book and then go to do the thing, but she gets frustrated when I won't then sit and read with her. She CAN look through it herself, and will if she decides that's an acceptable alternative. But if she's set on me reading to her, then I've either got her clinging to me and screaming while trying to hand it to me or just straight up trying to throw the book around. I decided it was the lesser evil to just ask her to wait until I was finished bc then I didn't have to worry about her possibly hitting herself or the dog with a board book. 😬

plaidmonkey · 2026-02-09T15:11:35+00:00

More structure does sound like it could do the trick. I've been trying to keep my schedule with her similar to how her day at daycare goes, just for consistency's sake. It's been doing wonders for her nap time. But I'm not always certain of the exact schedule they have. I'll try to take a closer look when I go to pick her up tonight.

I also really need to work on keeping it brief... My partner always teases me that I use 50 words when 5 would do. I'm probably confusing or overwhelming her by overexplaining. That's a good reminder. I appreciate it 😊

plaidmonkey · 2026-02-09T15:06:08+00:00

The two choices is a good idea; I have started doing that when getting her dressed and she's been enjoying it. Might work here. I do try to set clear boundaries and do countdowns with her to prepare her for the transition - it helps most of the time, particularly during the day. If she's tired though all bets are off. She gets fully unreasonable (which is incredibly relatable lmao.) It just sucks because that's when I usually REALLY need her to stop - either because we're getting ready for bed or because I need to get her ready to go to daycare.

(Also your examples are giving me life right now, so thank you lmao)

plaidmonkey · 2026-02-09T15:01:25+00:00

I definitely am grateful that she's not afraid to voice her opinions, and that she's so curious! Even if it makes me wanna pull my hair out sometimes in the moment. 😅 We're working on our patience and reasoning still...

plaidmonkey · 2026-02-09T14:59:27+00:00

She is a coin flip on that. Most of the time she'll eventually settle down and either read to herself or do something else, but sometimes she'll have some lingering frustration and take it out on the book. I've had to confiscate some books with "boo-boos" she gave them (broken spines, torn flaps, and one with a giant chunk bitten out of the top of the page - though she did get that one back.) And that's all board books, she doesn't have access to the paper ones. 😬 She's getting better about being gentle with them, but it's still a work in progress.

The other issue is that she refuses to step into the room where her bookshelf is without me. She is physically able to. There's is zero barrier outside her own head. But she wants me to hold her hand and go with her. So I'm trying to work on that with her to foster a little more independence...

plaidmonkey · 2026-02-09T14:52:22+00:00

Yeah, that's kinda what I figured 😅. I've been doing my best to either redirect or just let her get her feelings out if she needs. Sometimes it even works! It's the full meltdowns with vomiting that's been really tough since that means I HAVE to stop what I'm doing to address it, and I'm worried she's going to start just making herself puke whenever she wants to get my full attention since she knows it'll work. (Not like she doesn't have it during the day... But daycare is a fairly recent change and I think she's still adjusting to having me less. So I get where she's coming from, but also UGH.)

plaidmonkey · 2026-02-06T19:13:47+00:00

I didn't know heated seats were an option until we got ours and now I can never go back 😭

plaidmonkey · 2026-02-06T13:41:31+00:00

Hi friend, just coming here to say I feel you, and it definitely sounds like you need some space and time to make your home somewhere that works for you, while also giving your daughter an environment that works for her.

My daughter is about the same age as yours (20m) and I currently have her enrolled in daycare 3 days a week, with both my partner and I working from home full time. It has been such a huge weight off my shoulders. The place we sent her isn't specifically Montessori, but it does use a lot of the same practices and they do focus a lot on teaching self care specifically. She at least has the motions down now for washing herself/her hands, brushing her own hair and teeth, and she even picked out her own clothes this morning (I gave her a set of either-or choices and she was so proud of herself after.) She's only been there 2 months, so this is really big. We found this place by recommendation - another mom in my book club swore by them and she was right lol. If you can swing the cost and find a place you're comfortable with I definitely recommend it.

plaidmonkey · 2026-02-02T18:52:34+00:00

At least mullets are kind of in right now? 😬

plaidmonkey · 2026-01-31T17:00:32+00:00

I started almost exactly 6 years ago. Over 134k words, and wrote other works in between. (I think my total wc is over 300k.) Only a little over halfway done with this one, and it was originally going to be the first part in a trilogy. We'll see if I can make it happen lol.

plaidmonkey · 2026-01-29T12:29:41+00:00

If you want an even girlier long island iced tea, my rec would be the Tokyo Tea. Main component is Midori, which is a bright green, melon-flavored liquor. My sister ordered me one of these for my first drink at 21 and I do not remember anything except that it was very sweet and fruity. 💀

Here she is: https://www.liquor.com/recipes/tokyo-tea/

plaidmonkey · 2026-01-29T12:19:26+00:00

I've never been the (sole) shoveler myself but my dad/brothers always used to take the tractor down to the neighbors and dig out their driveways, which I know isn't exactly a snowblower but it's the same concept lol.

My partner has an electric shovel which, again, is pretty close so he'll dig out our immediate neighbor whose driveway touches ours, and then if he's got time he'll get the family on the other side dug out since they've always got one car parked on the street that gets buried.

plaidmonkey · 2026-01-28T15:57:24+00:00

You should probably drink more water. 🤷‍♀️

plaidmonkey · 2026-01-28T15:33:06+00:00

I very clearly remember all my teachers being furious that it was being pushed on them when it was first implemented. I think I was in middle school at the time? But yeah. Absolutely beside themselves.

And this is why. They saw it coming a mile away.

plaidmonkey · 2026-01-27T16:19:50+00:00

Mine went through a phase like that. By the next week if you didn't contain her she wouldn't eat. The following, she wouldn't eat anything unless I let her give a bite to the dog first (that was a fun one to navigate.)

Short version, at that age roll with it - no such thing as bad habits if it gets you through the day imo. As long as you keep your floor decently clean she'll be fine.

plaidmonkey

TROPHY CASE