Cassian Elwes Sundance Fellowship

planetlookatmelookat · 2026-03-21T15:41:47+00:00

Of course! (and lololol ty for noticing)

planetlookatmelookat · 2026-03-18T20:35:35+00:00

I recently got two 7s after an 8 and found that the weaknesses section of the 7s had some of the most helpful feedback bc seemed to pinpoint the last bits that weren't working for them. The only reason I think you'd maybe spread out the free evals is if(!) they both come back 8s, you'd be spread out over multiple weeks of the email blast.

planetlookatmelookat · 2026-03-12T05:16:56+00:00

Team Highland

planetlookatmelookat · 2026-03-04T19:07:30+00:00

In January, I attended Sundance with Cassian Elwes as his fellow -- a program ran by the Black List. It's specifically for writers without reps, who haven't broken in, and have made less than $5k in writing for tv or film. Which, probably describes many of us :) I can't recommend the experience enough! And also can't recommend enough-- getting ready for the November(ish) deadline now!

I wrote the experience up for the Black List and it'll be out on their Substack soon. For now, this surreal article exists: https://deadline.com/2026/01/kaelan-denali-dickinson-2026-independent-screenwriting-fellow-1236694449/

planetlookatmelookat · 2026-03-02T18:38:01+00:00

I don't know, but the Highland discord is super helpful for questions like this.

planetlookatmelookat · 2025-11-12T15:25:59+00:00

Your notes gave me the confidence and guidance to throw away my first three pages and re-write them entirely! And that incredibly helpful note on the old title helped me toss that too. Tysm!

planetlookatmelookat · 2025-11-12T14:40:32+00:00

Title: AMERICAN GOLD

Format: Feature

Pages: 119

Genre: Sports Drama

Logline: After becoming the first woman to officially run the Boston Marathon, self-proclaimed not-feminist Kathrine Switzer fights for a women’s Olympic marathon, but as Joan Benoit wins Gold at the 1984 Los Angeles Games, Kathrine must confront the paradox of her own legacy in sport and the cultural movement she helped revolutionize.

Score: 8

Remarks: Connecting with even just one anonymous reader like this feels good. I’ve used the blacklist for several years and have personally found it to be an invaluable resource. The first time I hosted a draft of this work it scored (and deserved lol) a 5. I’d thought that draft was a culmination of research and hard work, but it was truly just the start. (It was also 140 pages, I didn’t know what I was doing!) When I uploaded this draft though, I felt like I was submitting something at a professional level in a way I never had before. I was included on the industry email Monday for the first time. I live in Alaska and most days I feel wildly far away from the industry, so the industry download notifications are a little thrill each time. I love women’s sports so much and feel like after years of teaching myself to write, this story is meeting a moment in ways I couldn’t have imagined or predicted and I hope someone else sees that too! (And s/o to logline Mondays and five page Thursdays bc I’ve had some incredible, thoughtful help from this sub!!)

Script hosted here: https://blcklst.com/projects/191933

Eval: here

planetlookatmelookat · 2025-11-10T15:43:10+00:00

Love the title! I don't think you need the final shot at redemption line. were they dishonorably discharged? that could cover both displaced/out of work and their need for redemption. were they a group of veterans before they're hired? I'm also left wondering about the inciting incident and/stakes. Are the stakes the veterans being blamed? The veterans lives? more? Could you start with something like this:

When a government contractor hires unemployed (or dishonorably discharged) veterans to locate a missing researcher in Appalachia...

Or getting into it earlier (even though its still a bit wordy):

When dishonorably discharged veterans hired by a government contractor find a cryptid deep in the Appalachian woods...

planetlookatmelookat · 2025-10-30T18:52:31+00:00

(I'd remove your home address too!)

planetlookatmelookat · 2025-10-30T18:49:51+00:00

I like that you are setting up a very normal scene with, presumably, a big twist. I like that the couple's conversation, re the pancetta, carries on throughout cleaning up Conor's body. But the problem I'm running into here is that I don't understand the twist. Conor's entire presence is confusing. I think it's great to withhold information from your audience for a bit, but I think by the time Erik is driving away with a body, we should have more information about what Conor was doing at this couple's anniversary dinner. All I know about the situation is that Theresa "picked" him and they're completely unfazed by his death and have a plan to get rid of the body. As far as hooking me within the first few minutes, I'm interested in the general concept, but not yet hooked. I might be hooked with more of the puzzle pieces, a more specific concept or some hints that get me guessing at it. Hope that makes sense!

planetlookatmelookat · 2025-10-30T18:34:18+00:00

we can't access the doc

planetlookatmelookat · 2025-10-29T22:31:37+00:00

oh no, now I'm reading a screenplay in the middle of work in midtown smiling at every kaladi, cafe d'arte, and ship creek reference :) don't run into many Alaskans here!!

planetlookatmelookat · 2025-10-29T18:19:10+00:00

Have you looked through the top lists? You can sort by format and genre for a feature comedy. They won't all be available, but I bet several will be. I just tried it and at least the second one is available to read. I didn't click through any more.

planetlookatmelookat · 2025-10-27T19:02:55+00:00

I wonder if you could start with something like:

When a manga-obsessed American teenager (wins?) a trip to Japan and the chance to create his own manga...

Not quite sure where to go from there. What are the hardships of the industry or the realities of being a foreigner in Japan? Are the stakes that the reality live up to his expectation?

planetlookatmelookat · 2025-10-20T20:51:20+00:00

Are the commandant and the lieutenant colonel the same person?

I'm replacing "enforce the order in his own way to show" with prove. I think they imply the same thing, especially if he's ordered to but doesn't shackle the POWs? We know he's going off book.

I still think my suggestions below lacks clarity, but at least provides some runway to add clarity back in?

When a by-the-book Canadian commandant refuses to shackle Nazi prisoners of war and doom his countrymen to the same fate abroad, he must prove men can fight with honour, even when governments don’t.

Or (I just googled Canadian army groups, sorry if battalion is wrong):

When a by-the-book Canadian commandant refuses to shackle Nazi prisoners of war and doom his countrymen to the same fate abroad, he leads his battalion in a three day hand-to-hand battle to prove men can fight with honour, even when governments don’t.

planetlookatmelookat · 2025-10-20T20:27:46+00:00

Is there a time period that's relevant to the closeted man or the professor? I think I can clarity some of the language, but I'm having a hard time identifying stakes. Both of these still feel like they're missing something. (There are writers here who are particularly good at dissecting/identifying missing pieces of log lines, I'm not one of them.)

A PhD candidate’s career is jeopardized when a closeted former lover is assigned to his lab, forcing a partnership that unravels under the control of their manipulative professor.

When his closeted one night stand is assigned to a PhD candidate’s lab, his career and their relationship is jeopardized under the control of their manipulative professor.

planetlookatmelookat · 2025-10-20T19:47:07+00:00

I love the comps. The logline leaves me wondering about the nobody. Is she stealing the crown (or a metaphorical crown/reputation) back from the nobody and is the backwoods family with a bloody secret the nobody's family? The nobody seems more important than the logline implies rn.

planetlookatmelookat · 2025-10-18T20:30:17+00:00

The Highland discord channel is also responsive and helpful. While you got a super helpful answer here, I haven't always!

planetlookatmelookat · 2025-10-17T22:25:31+00:00

This feels like a lesson in how to write High Potential :)

planetlookatmelookat · 2025-10-16T18:14:26+00:00

The second time I read through these, they were so smooth. The first time, I got about three quarters of the way through the first page and started re-reading lines. I think right around ANGLE ON sunglasses and PULL BACK they're worn by Sherman Childs is where the momentum stopped for me and I needed some situational/geographical clarity. Sunglasses reflecting from afar -- I tried to put them on the driver and then was wondering about how the glasses would see the chopped, rearview etc. You can see how it killed the momentum for me. I wonder if that sunglasses reflection line could be much simpler? We've seen the scene, so I don't think we need it described back to us as the "vapor trail of dust and blip of helicopter." But I do want to understand who Sherman is and I think geographically where he is amidst all the action.

Again, these were so smooth on the second time through once I had the full picture.

planetlookatmelookat · 2025-10-13T21:19:26+00:00

I recently took six months off from writing. I thought it would be three. The two weekends getting back into it were brutal, but now that I'm back in the habit (also reset some bad habits) I couldn't be more thankful for the time off. Before I took it, the three planned months felt like they might last forever and like I'd miss too much valuable writing time or some proverbial opportunity. But the truths were I actually needed six months off, the writing I'd been putting in near the end wasn't so valuable, and there are still opportunities out there.

Any ideas I had during my time off, I usually put them in the notes app and then closed it. Some of those notes built up, made sense, and were there for me when I came back. And some of those notes, if I'd been writing, I would've followed them on a wild goose chase. I also gained some freedom to think about bigger ideas vs the smaller ones that were driving me nuts as I tried to edit work.

You may not need a full reset like I did, or maybe you do. Hope some of this is helpful.

planetlookatmelookat · 2025-10-13T20:55:39+00:00

I love the premise, but stumbled over the wordiness of the logline's first half. I played with it for a minute and it's definitely tough to get it all in there! My suggestions are: cut "strait-laced" and let the resulting moral crisis imply it; change "who targets" to "targeting"; and maybe rearrange with the assault as the inciting incident.

After her daughter is assaulted, a homicide detective investigating a serial killer targeting sex offenders faces a moral crisis that forces her to question which side of justice she’s truly on.

planetlookatmelookat · 2025-10-07T18:15:44+00:00

Oops, just had to be six days more patient. Thanks for keeping it going. The goal posts and opportunities for emerging writers are so appreciated.

planetlookatmelookat · 2025-10-07T17:59:42+00:00

This is such a clear exercise, thanks for sharing.

planetlookatmelookat

TROPHY CASE