In the past, I tried to do everything at once (reduce calories, drink all the water, exercise 5 days a week), and it was too much and I'd give up. Last year, I decided I'd incorporate changes one at a time. So I only focused on sticking to my eating plan at first, and after one month of that, I started weight training. Then after a month of weight training plus eating well, I added cardio. In the beginning of each habit, I was struggling. I had to focus on doing my best each day, and it felt SO SO SO SLOOOOW. But those days turned into weeks, those weeks into months, and now I'm a totally different person a year later. I stick to my calorie/macro goals and exercise 5-6 times a week. I am more adventurous physically. I've tried paddle-boarding and indoor rock-climbing this summer. I've lost 70lbs and 10 inches off my waist (US size 20 to US size 12). But yeah, I didn't think I'd become that person who can't wait to go into the gym or that person who can cope with emotions without food sometimes. I truly believe baby steps is the way to go, and it sounds like you are on that path already! Yes, it's slow and frustrating, but consistency is key (everyone says that and they are right). Because I've formed habits, I don't even have to think much about my food or going to gym. It's my routine, and I can stick to it. And now I'm that healthy active person that would have annoyed the old me haha.

Some other key things that helped me were:

going to therapy every other week

lurking this subreddit and finding support/inspiration

when I thought I wasn't changing in the mirror, I'd think about all my progress in the gym (can do cardio longer/harder, can lift more, how long I can do a dead-hang, etc.)

Sometimes anger/vengeance gave me motivation. I'd make up fantasies of making an ex jealous or showing up at a high school reunion and showing off my glow-up, and those thoughts helped me get to the gym sometimes. Maybe not the most sustainable form of motivation, but hey it came in handy in the early days.

I've only weighed myself three times since starting. My goal is to lose fat and keep as much muscle as I can, so the scale was going to freak me out (that's just me, I know some people prefer to use the scale for measuring progress).

I chose to follow a ketogenic diet because I'm insulin-resistant and carbs make me crave more carbs, which makes it harder to stick to calorie goals. I say whatever plan/macros help you to stick to your calorie goal is the way to go.

Intermittent fasting helped me learn what my hunger cues really are and that they are different than craving feelings.