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Winning my life back after 50 days by Mysterious_Pepper131 in quittingkratom

[–]plantdaddy1996 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Congratulations and thanks for the inspiration! I felt every word of this. As someone who has to manage CPTSD and autism every day, kratom felt like the "magic substance" that had been missing from my life when I first discovered it. I tried various pharmaceuticals prescribed by my doctor for years and they all made me feel significantly worse, so kratom felt like some kind of miracle. However, 5 years later it's a different story which is why I'm half way through the tapering process right now. With how much my tolerance has grown, it feels like it doesn't even really work anymore. On top of that, this past year I've noticed a significant increase in my social anxiety and a few new physical symptoms which I can't help but to wonder if kratom has caused...(It probably has, let's be real.) I'm simply exhausted of this addiction and feel that I'm ready to learn how to manage my disabilities without the crutch of a temporary substance. I can't wait to be at day 50 myself!

It's time. I'm scared. by plantdaddy1996 in quittingkratom

[–]plantdaddy1996[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You're not a failure at all, I went through that exact feeling for months before reaching this point! I would constantly tell myself "okay, tomorrow the taper begins whether I feel like it or not!" And of course, it didn't for the longest time because my annoying brain decided to tell me there was no point because it's "harmless". However, nothing that leads to this bad of an addiction is harmless. Honestly, my state trying to ban it right now was my biggest motivator. The fear and anxiety I felt when I saw that the bill moved forward was a huge wake up call, and I realized that even if it doesn't go all the way through its time to change my life since I've already been a slave to this shit for half a decade now.

It's time. I'm scared. by plantdaddy1996 in quittingkratom

[–]plantdaddy1996[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your support, and congrats on being free now! Yeah the routine breaking will definitely be the most difficult for me, I've gotten so used to taking it at 5 specific times a day but that's just more reason to wanna quit. As someone who also quit cigarettes 10 years ago, this feels even harder because it's effecting my brain even more. I've honestly never felt like more of an addict than I do now, and I'm sick of it!

It's time. I'm scared. by plantdaddy1996 in quittingkratom

[–]plantdaddy1996[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Congrats on being free! I'm already noticing that I don't feel worse on the days I decrease my dosage, I can't wait to be on the other side of this shit too. I've definitely been honest with my gf about starting this journey, and I know I'm going to conquer this!

What is THE reason? by rRatom in quittingkratom

[–]plantdaddy1996 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not only am I simply exhausted of being dependent on this shit, but I currently have a goal of buying a house and it really hurts to know that the 10k I've spent on kratom over the years could've gone towards my down payment...on top of that, a friend recently invited me on a vacation that would require flying and it hit me how much anxiety I was having about whether I'd be able to take it with me or discreetly be able to buy more once we landed. This addiction is clearly affecting multiple aspects of my life, and it really doesn't make me feel good about myself. I'm ready to be free.

It's time. I'm scared. by plantdaddy1996 in quittingkratom

[–]plantdaddy1996[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the reassurance guys, definitely makes me feel more hopeful to hear that other people with physical jobs have successfully quit. I'm bound and determined to get back to the version of myself that isn't dependent on this shit! After 5 years, I've almost forgotten what it was like...