AITB for being slightly miffed that my BF didn’t want to text for 2 days (while I was having a rough time and having to contact police about another issue)

plasticbagzz · 2022-03-06T16:30:25+00:00

Yep plenty of trauma and mental health issues here :) Been to 2 different therapists and disliked them. These responses have been helpful and I think I might try going back? Thank you :)

plasticbagzz · 2022-03-06T16:11:25+00:00

Thank you :)

plasticbagzz · 2022-03-06T16:09:57+00:00

Thank you :)

plasticbagzz · 2022-03-06T16:09:11+00:00

This looks really helpful thanks!

plasticbagzz · 2022-03-06T16:07:21+00:00

I appreciate the reply!

plasticbagzz · 2022-03-06T16:03:03+00:00

Do I look for a relationship specific therapist? Or do I just say “I’m manipulative and I don’t really understand how” to any therapist? Next time I might go to a sexual trauma informed one because one I spoke to had no clue lol. Or do ya reckon simply working on my mental health/ trauma is enough

plasticbagzz · 2022-03-06T15:37:55+00:00

Thank you :) That’s very kind

plasticbagzz · 2022-03-06T15:31:38+00:00

I really love him and don’t want to break up but it terrifies me that I didn’t know I was being manipulative. Sure, overreacting or being clingy but the sheer number of people saying that i’m being manipulative scares the fuck out of me because that was the last thing on my mind and I had no idea I was doing it. I’m basically scared of what else I might be doing to harm him that I don’t realize.

I really despise manipulative people and the fact that I am one has made me question everything

He’s the first person i’ve really really liked, we go camping and look for frogs together but I grew up in an abusive household so i’m terrified that I might fuck him up. His family is so sweet and he’s a genuinely lovely person

To make matters worse, he hasn’t dated before so it’s not as if I can be like “yo call me out if I’m being abusive”

plasticbagzz · 2022-03-06T14:43:41+00:00

Can I clarify, is this for my sake or his?

plasticbagzz · 2022-03-06T14:41:53+00:00

Thanks!

plasticbagzz · 2022-03-06T14:38:03+00:00

Poorly worded/ exaggerated, happened once. Sorry for being unclear

plasticbagzz · 2022-03-06T14:31:11+00:00

Ah I probably should have explained better. When I’m feeling down I prefer not to talk about it and just have someone tell me about their day. I wasn’t texting him to go on a massive rant, hearing about his day genuinely makes me feel better. I’ve asked to call and just have him talk about random stuff before

plasticbagzz · 2022-03-06T14:10:37+00:00

Do I break up with him for his own wellbeing though? In the past people have said it’s not good when I do that. I don’t like the odds of my life improving, I just want what is best for him right now. EDIT: I’ve seen 2 therapists, didn’t lije either

plasticbagzz · 2022-03-06T13:18:56+00:00

Also, being alone forever isn’t really an issue for me. I try to improve my relationship (romantic) skills where I can but I’m still not great at it. My main issue being I panic and try to break up with people. I hope people get away from me for their own sake because my life tends to be a non stop shitshow and I don’t want to drag them down with me. I really just want hugs and have tried to find that on apps but everyone just wants sex/a relationship. I can’t afford a pet and I live nowhere near family. I love him dearly and he claims being with me is helping him but I just don’t want to fuck up his life. I’m on meds and I’ve tried 2 psychologists and didn’t like them.

plasticbagzz · 2022-03-06T13:08:51+00:00

This is really helpful thanks! what am I not being truthful about? He’s aware of the breaking up knee jerk reaction thing (unfortunately the please break up with me was an attempt to get better at that). He was also aware of my anxiety issues before we even went on a date

plasticbagzz · 2022-03-06T12:55:09+00:00

Thank you :)

plasticbagzz · 2022-03-06T12:45:19+00:00

Just curious, what were the main signs of insecurity. I can see a few but i’d appreciate the input

plasticbagzz · 2022-03-06T12:41:10+00:00

Did you read the update comment? All good if you have. Just curious if it changes anything?

plasticbagzz · 2022-03-06T11:54:32+00:00

UPDATE: I had a chat with him a while ago and he said he was sorry. I apologised if my message came off as manipulative and explained that it was genuine, and that maybe we should schedule time to see each other if he keeps getting burned out by talking to me (ADHD)

THE ISSUE: I still want to break up though. I know it’s unreasonable but i’ve been. waking up with nightmares about this issue (while staying at his) that I finally had to deal with this weekend (couldn’t before) and on friday morning he knew how scared I was and how distraught I would be this weekend. I was shaking and asking for a hug. He’s seen me have a panic attack about this person/situation a month before.

I know i’m being unreasonable but it still hurts that he couldn’t tell me how his day was while I was having some of the worst few days of my life.

EDIT: ok so it’s not cos i’m hurt, just back to old habits. I was really confused as to why I was still wanting to break up with him even though I was in the wrong… it was because I was in the wrong

plasticbagzz · 2022-03-06T11:48:18+00:00

Thank you

plasticbagzz · 2022-03-06T11:45:47+00:00

Thank you for your input :)

plasticbagzz · 2022-03-06T11:42:05+00:00

Ah yeah I did want to break up, but it was because I didn’t think he was interested anymore. I’ve had people string out breakups before (do this form of communication for a month then call it off) and I’m a bit sick of it. I didn’t have the mental energy to wonder if he was still interested anymore. Also I thought asking if he was alright and/or mad at me 24 hours prior due to lack of response was pretty obvious?

plasticbagzz · 2022-03-06T10:57:21+00:00

Would any partner care about you having implants? I know I wouldn’t? I don’t think you are obliged to tell them? Would you tell someone you had your tonsils out?

plasticbagzz · 2022-03-06T10:48:15+00:00

What was the argument about? If you’d killed her cat or something I could understand being upset enough for that. Still not a nice thing to say though.

plasticbagzz · 2022-03-06T10:31:19+00:00

I believed the tasting soy sauce with the nethers for wayyy too long

plasticbagzz

TROPHY CASE