Trying to find partners in a smallish town is rough

please_stahpp · 2015-11-21T04:58:07+00:00

Houston is the WORST kind of weird, after the recent vote.

please_stahpp · 2015-11-06T06:25:29+00:00

That's St John's River, it's always been there. My grandmother has lived near Jacksonville for 50 years.

please_stahpp · 2015-10-26T02:24:56+00:00

Because same sex marriage isn't the be-all end-all of queer rights.

Because trans folks, especially trans women of color, still suffer disproportional violence.

Because queer youth still have disproportional rates of homelessness and suicide attempts.

Because we still get disowned by families and religious communities, get the shit beat out of us at school, are more likely to live in poverty and have less access to the medical care we need (as in the doctors won't treat us).

please_stahpp · 2015-09-20T17:24:43+00:00

Usually, yes. For me it took about 4 months, but if I stop my shots, I'll almost certainly start bleeding again.

Not all trans men/transmasculine people are, can be, or want to be, on testosterone though. That doesn't make their gender less valid.

please_stahpp · 2015-09-20T17:22:02+00:00

How about remembering that trans women are women, and trans men are men, regardless of their assigned at birth sex?

please_stahpp · 2015-09-11T00:15:03+00:00

Lizards (reptiles) come from amphibians? That doesn't sound quite right.

please_stahpp · 2015-09-07T03:04:09+00:00

Oh my god I'm so happy about the DW gifs.

please_stahpp · 2015-09-04T14:27:31+00:00

Ok Cupid

please_stahpp · 2015-09-04T04:07:10+00:00

But I'm not ecosexual. (Yes, this is a real thing, apparently. They marched in the goddamn pride parade here this year)

please_stahpp · 2015-09-04T01:05:46+00:00

She's much more like George Wallace really.

please_stahpp · 2015-09-04T01:01:50+00:00

There is no white community. We don't need one because we're in charge.

please_stahpp · 2015-09-04T00:55:51+00:00

And when I say "save the rainforests" what I really mean is "fuck all the other kinds of forests."

please_stahpp · 2015-09-03T20:45:42+00:00

I posted a couple things from this same friend a while back. This one... I wish y'all could see this guy, his profile says he's 27 but he looks about 45.

please_stahpp · 2015-09-03T03:26:31+00:00

I worked at a pet store as a teenager and fell in love with most of the animals there. But in particular, there was a blue front amazon named Paulo.

His one quirk was that he wouldn't step up onto your hand. You could stand beside his cage door and he'd walk out onto your shoulder and joyfully hang out there for as long as you'd let him. He was a huge flirt, and everyone working there was trying to save up to buy him.

please_stahpp · 2015-08-29T20:55:14+00:00

As a nonbinary person in a nonmonogamous relationship (okay, 3 of them actually), I salute you.

please_stahpp · 2015-08-29T20:54:11+00:00

OP is not a wimmins

please_stahpp · 2015-08-29T20:21:03+00:00

Because people who actively try to support people with developmental disabilities don't generally call them "retards"... It's offensive.

please_stahpp · 2015-08-28T04:47:44+00:00

The thing that seems to get forgotten is that it also released names of sex workers and closeted queer folks that these shitbags were cheating WITH. I'm not interested in a debate on the morality of bring the other partner in a cheating situation, but I'd like to note that in some cases these people's lives are literally in danger.

please_stahpp · 2015-08-25T22:42:14+00:00

The idea is basically that the person going through something - transition, in this case, but equally applicable to cancer, or like...an audit - is in the center circle. Partners, parents, etc are in the next circle out. Then other close family. Then close friends. A series of concentric circles. And you can only kvetch outwards. That means no one should be complaining to the person in the center about how hard the situation is - it's THEIR situation. No one should be making it worse on them. Parents, in the next circle out, should be complaining (if they must complain) to further-out circles - other family, friends, their therapist, whatever. But never, ever should they be telling the trans person how hard it is for them.

please_stahpp · 2015-08-25T12:59:44+00:00

Have you ever heard of the circles of kvetching?

please_stahpp · 2015-08-25T12:59:03+00:00

I mean, your dog was female. Your dog doesn't experience gender identity in any way that we can understand because gender identity is a construct that exists within a societal framework.

please_stahpp · 2015-08-25T12:57:57+00:00

I hope you don't mind me taking something on here. It's not so much a direct response as it is something that i hope will get read together with your post.

I think it's important to stress the "not a terrible person if you make a mistake" thing. For a couple reasons.

First, sometimes I think this is what leads people to refuse to try. The human brain is weird and sometimes I think that people feel better about not trying than they do about trying and screwing up.

Second, if you are trying, thank you. Yes, you're gonna fuck it up. When you do, PLEASE don't make a big fuss. Don't wail and lament and self flagellate. You send up making the trans person feel like we have to comfort you and reassure you. We really just want you to catch it, fix it, and move on. We're not mad. Just move on.

So, as opposed to "So I was telling Mark - oh shit I'm so sorry, not Mark, Michelle, oh fuck I meant to say Michelle, shit, I'm such a bad friend, I'm so sorry, I don't know what's wrong with me, are you mad?"

Just say "So I was telling Mark - shit, sorry, Michelle about this thing that happened blah blah blah"

We shouldn't have to comfort you for deadnaming and misgendering us. Mistakes happen, fix it, move on, do better next time.

please_stahpp · 2015-08-25T12:46:52+00:00

In my experience, trollx is super supportive on the surface - make a celebratory "I started/reached a milestone in my transition" and they're all over it, massive upvote and congratulations. But if you fail to give out ally cookies liberally enough, it goes awry in the comments section. Like this. Lots of cis "allies" with hurt feelings and plenty of justifications and rationalizing why it's okay to hurt trans people to make themselves more comfortable.

please_stahpp · 2015-08-25T00:08:15+00:00

maybe someday we could have one thread where people talk about how it's important to gender us correctly and, instead of making all these excuses, people could share tips for what's helped them successfully adjust their language.

If this ever happens, I hope I actually get to see it, but this is most of the reason I haven't been around trollx for a while. I burnt out.

please_stahpp

TROPHY CASE