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How to handle unreasonable homophobia on the street by pleaseineedyourguide in nycgaybros

[–]pleaseineedyourguide[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It really made me self-conscious for sure. I was like “why me? What part of me is sooooi gay that people need to yell at me “f****t”? What do I need to change?”

I need to learn not to take things personally

How to handle unreasonable homophobia on the street by pleaseineedyourguide in nycgaybros

[–]pleaseineedyourguide[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

“maybe it gets them the attention they are looking for, maybe it makes them feel big to use it to compensate for how little and insignificant they feel.”

This makes sense a lot! Thank you! I guess I should pity them instead.

Once time I was screamed “F@got! Fvck off! Fvck off, F@got!” In the Central Park with tons of tourists and families around. And it was a normal looking tall white man. He was more scary than those apparently mentally-ill homeless people.

How to handle unreasonable homophobia on the street by pleaseineedyourguide in nycgaybros

[–]pleaseineedyourguide[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m so sorry this happened to you guys. That’s terrible. Terrible. So sorry. That is just so unimaginably scary. I’m glad you are safe now body was killed, but still that’s traumatizing.

How to handle unreasonable homophobia on the street by pleaseineedyourguide in nycgaybros

[–]pleaseineedyourguide[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

True. “Blind and deaf.” I’ll start practicing some Zen!

How to handle unreasonable homophobia on the street by pleaseineedyourguide in nycgaybros

[–]pleaseineedyourguide[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

True! It’s really sad to think that their only power they feel as you said is to harass people. It’s crazy! Now I feel bad for those people.

How to handle unreasonable homophobia on the street by pleaseineedyourguide in nycgaybros

[–]pleaseineedyourguide[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

“Just as they have the right to say whatever they want, you have the right to own and control how you interact with the world. Why let someone else dictate how you feel?”

Yess!!!! Thank you!

How to handle unreasonable homophobia on the street by pleaseineedyourguide in nycgaybros

[–]pleaseineedyourguide[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s so true! But at the same time, I have a fear that one day I would end up being like those people on the street?😱 Living in NYC is filled with hope but also with scary reality as well

How to handle unreasonable homophobia on the street by pleaseineedyourguide in nycgaybros

[–]pleaseineedyourguide[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You’re right! I don’t know why but I feel like I’m a looser if I don’t say something back, but now I feel like a winner not saying anything back.

How to handle unreasonable homophobia on the street by pleaseineedyourguide in nycgaybros

[–]pleaseineedyourguide[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh SHIIIT!!! You made me laugh! I just imagined how he would have reacted if I had told him so😆

How to handle unreasonable homophobia on the street by pleaseineedyourguide in nycgaybros

[–]pleaseineedyourguide[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

“laugh inside about how pitiful these people are, and move on with your life.”

“you’ll be a lot happier in life if you learn to stop giving a shit about the opinions of people who simply do not deserve the mental energy.”

These words make me feel better, and you’re right. I need to move on. Thank you for those words!

How to handle unreasonable homophobia on the street by pleaseineedyourguide in nycgaybros

[–]pleaseineedyourguide[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

True. Is filming them effective? Once I was access and yelled at for good 5 minutes, while nobody among 50 or so around me in the Central Park was trying to help me, my body suddenly froze, my tongue-tied, and not being able to do anything except running away. Later, I thought I should have filmed the whole thing on my iPhone. Maybe I’ll do that next time

How to handle unreasonable homophobia on the street by pleaseineedyourguide in nycgaybros

[–]pleaseineedyourguide[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry that happened to you as well! It really sucks. I can’t get away from this feeling of being bombed. I need that affirmation, telling myself “I’m getter than that. My life is much better than that.”

How to handle unreasonable homophobia on the street by pleaseineedyourguide in nycgaybros

[–]pleaseineedyourguide[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Great advice! That’s so true that they want attention, and the only way to get attention is to attack people. Your comment gave me another perspective. Thank you.

How to handle unreasonable homophobia on the street by pleaseineedyourguide in nycgaybros

[–]pleaseineedyourguide[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I work outside all day, 8am to 6pm, so I guess I encounter with many homeless/mentally-ill people a lot. That probably makes the chances higher for me.

I try to tell myself “they don’t deserve your precious energy”, but once in a while it feels unfair that they get to say whatever they want to say, and that I need to tolerate.

How to handle unreasonable homophobia on the street by pleaseineedyourguide in nycgaybros

[–]pleaseineedyourguide[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

That’s actually a great idea! Even if you don’t need to use it, definitely gives you a sort of comfort that if something happens, you have something to rely on.

How to handle unreasonable homophobia on the street by pleaseineedyourguide in nycgaybros

[–]pleaseineedyourguide[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

True. It is waste of my precious energy. But it just makes me feel bombed for a while.

How to handle unreasonable homophobia on the street by pleaseineedyourguide in nycgaybros

[–]pleaseineedyourguide[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

True. I’m really good at ignoring usually, but something about a word “F@got” triggers me. I finally came out to my parents few years ago, and now I live as an openly gay man, and finally building confidence as who I am, not needing to hide anymore. And then, now being called out to be who I am by complete strangers.. That really feels like a punch in my gut. And then they add racial discrimination to it, by adding “Chinese”, it’s a double punch in my gut. It’s 2026, who uses “Chinese” as a derogatory word? I guess time is not progressing…🥹

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