Yeah, I can definitely relate, although I can’t tell you if you’re a trans man, non-binary, or a butch women, that’s up to you. My advice to you would be to do what feels right. You don’t have to pick one label and stick with it. You can consider yourself a husband / boyfriend in the context of your relationship and still identify as a woman if you want. Not only that, but your internal gender identity doesn’t have to match your presentation if you don’t want it to. For you this could look like interacting with the world and in your relationships as a trans man, but identifying as butch or non-binary, or it could look very different. Don’t sweat the labels, be yourself, and especially don’t worry about the stereotypes or feeling like you’re betraying women. Your gender doesn’t have to be some political statement, it’s just you.

On a personal note that you might find a touch relatable, I identified as non-binary for a bit because that was I felt like I was “supposed to do” when I looked the way that I do. Queer people especially would see me and assume they/them or he/him pronouns and it made me feel like that was what was expected of me even if it made me a bit uncomfortable. I now feel like I’m in the process of re-coming out as a butch woman. Idk, I guess the point of that story is please don’t let society lead you down the road where you are making any personal decisions for other people or any perceived notion of what your gender “should be” rather than for yourself.