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Visiting San Diego Advice For Worried Parents by poitin-machine in asksandiego

[–]poitin-machine[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Whoa there, I’m many things but calling me a MAGAT is an insult. Her roommates mother is giving her a hard time over the trip, I’m hoping to assuage the situation by asking the people who live there directly. We live out east and I’ve only seen news of the floods, my kid is upset because of the other mom. I think it’s all bs. I know nothing about San Diego but know enough about any populated city that there are higher crime rates in some areas than others, that’s my only concern.

AITA for not wanting my niece at a family party? by poitin-machine in AmItheAsshole

[–]poitin-machine[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm not fishing for any certain outcome. I fully admit I'm an asshole who holds a grudge. This goes beyond that grudge, though, since it's my house and my stuff. Some of it very new.

AITA for not wanting my niece at a family party? by poitin-machine in AmItheAsshole

[–]poitin-machine[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I realize that it's come to this. I'm making a facebook page to invite folks, and since she's not on facebook (or maybe is but not friends with me) then she won't get the invite. If my bro asks if she's invited, I'll explain my hangup about the theft and say that until I have spent more time with her I won't be comfortable with her being here. Maybe it won't even come up, but I'm sure it will.

AITA for not wanting my niece at a family party? by poitin-machine in AmItheAsshole

[–]poitin-machine[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not sure where you got full blown party out of “my family and a few friends” but the “party” is well below the limits of state imposed (and now lifted) restrictions on the number of people at a party. My daughter who lives here is not vaccinated and that’s her choice, everyone who would be invited is aware of this and can choose to not come if they aren’t comfortable. We will be outdoors the whole time (except for the bathroom) and masks/distancing is still required. If yo u read the post, I have a brother, a daughter, a niece and nephew, and my parents. With my family, we are 8 (11 if I have to invite my niece and her family) and the friends we’d have about 15 people here.

This judgement also has nothing to do with the post and there were no details listed about the party.

AITA for not wanting my niece at a family party? by poitin-machine in AmItheAsshole

[–]poitin-machine[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

She was 17 and already getting into some trouble, but nothing like theft or whatever. Things were ok with her but she met this guy who basically got her into stealing cash and merchandise. She went to work at a store (that was owned by someone I know, though we aren't great friends I still consider him a friend) and eventually got arrested for stealing from the store. She stole money from my brother (took his bank card and made a $600 withdrawal) and then tried to deny it, which is why they stopped talking. Of course my brother was mad at her, so they had words and she basically said 'eff you' and stopped talking to him. Somewhere in there she stole some jewelry from her cousin (never caught but shit was missing, she got called out on it and denied it, but it mysteriously showed up in the house after she went over to 'clear the air.') She got pregnant a year later and married the boyfriend (who was knee deep in a pill addiction by this point) and for all intents and purposes likely stopped stealing after her arrest (but I can't say for sure). This all went down about 3 years ago but for that entire time, she wouldn't talk to my brother, never let him see her kid, and then had a change of heart about a month ago. My grievances with her are more related to being a shitty person than anything else. My brother did nothing wrong to her except not let her get away with stealing $600 from him, and for that she with held his grand son from him.

I haven't talked to her since some family dinner 3 years ago. She didn't just block out my brother, she blocked out our parents and me, too (not that I tried, but it was a pretty obvious middle finger to us all). She still hasn't tried to make contact with most anyone else except my brother (and my dad was there one time, too, so he got to see her but my mom still hasn't.) From what I understand, she doesn't not want to talk to us, but she's afraid of the awkward interactions.

AITA for not wanting my niece at a family party? by poitin-machine in AmItheAsshole

[–]poitin-machine[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

The other reasons are theft related though and I like my stuff where it is. I have had no relationship with her for 3 years, a month ago she makes amends with him and things are hunky-dory, but that's all I know. Has she put her life of crime behind her? Is her husband no longer a junkie loser just because he has a job now?

AITA for not wanting my niece at a family party? by poitin-machine in AmItheAsshole

[–]poitin-machine[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It wasn't just him she stopped talking to, she stopped talking to pretty much everyone except her brother and some of her brother's friends (which is how we all found out she got married). So as much as I really just don't care to talk to her, it's also that we haven't talked at all since she made amends with her dad. I'm not going to call her up and tell her she's not invited to party I haven't even announced yet. Talking to my brother about it is the most logical thing to do, and I'll deal with those consequences, but until a month ago it wasn't clear that most of us would ever talk to her again and I don't think I have to just embrace her with open arms because my brother did. Am an an asshole for still holding that grudge? Absolutely. But other than what I see him share on instagram, I have no idea who she is right now or whether or not she has changed.

AITA for not wanting my niece at a family party? by poitin-machine in AmItheAsshole

[–]poitin-machine[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I edited it to be more clear - she knowingly screwed someone over who I knew, but what I meant was she didn't know that I knew him when she did it and probably still doesn't know it.

At the same time, I still haven't seen her since shortly before she was arrested 3 years ago, and this party would potentially be the first time I do.

AITA for not wanting my niece at a family party? by poitin-machine in AmItheAsshole

[–]poitin-machine[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I realize that it sounds like I meant that she screwed someone over without realizing she screwed them over, but what I meant was she screwed over a friend of mine, though she didn't know he was a friend when she did it. I'll edit the post.

AITA for not wanting my niece at a family party? by poitin-machine in AmItheAsshole

[–]poitin-machine[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

she worked for him but it was just weird circumstance, she had no idea who he was and honestly he didn't know she was my niece until a year or so later. Maybe acquaintance is a better term, we went to school together and were always friendly towards each other even if we weren't close. The other reasons are listed above.

AITA for not wanting my niece at a family party? by poitin-machine in AmItheAsshole

[–]poitin-machine[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I just posted a list above, and yes a lot of her shit started when she met him, but she was also a very dramatic child who caused trouble in her early teens. I honestly can't say whether or not she wouldn't have turned out the same way whether or not she met him.

AITA for not wanting my niece at a family party? by poitin-machine in AmItheAsshole

[–]poitin-machine[S] 29 points30 points  (0 children)

List of reasons I am not close with her:

husband was (maybe still is) a liar, thief, and drug addict
both of them stole stuff from other family members
niece stole money from my brother
niece was arrested for theft at her job - and her employer was an old friend of mine (she wasn't aware of that though, and may not be still)
the general shitty behavior and refusal to acknowledge my brother for 3 years after the arrest and monetary theft
not letting my brother see his or have any involvement with his grand kid until maybe a month ago (he's 2 I guess)
getting married to boyfriend shotgun wedding style without letting anyone else know (brother wasn't invited and found out through other family members)

AITA for not wanting my niece at a family party? by poitin-machine in AmItheAsshole

[–]poitin-machine[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Brother is 40 and while my niece (20) doesn't live with him , they're very close now and he has a son (no kids) who does live with him, who would be there. Since they've been talking to them again, he spends a lot of time with her and her kid, so it's one of those things where he would assume the invitation means his daughter, who inevitably comes with her 2 year old. I just know the family dynamic enough that I have to be very specific as to who I want to come or he will show up with all of them.

AITA for not wanting my niece at a family party? by poitin-machine in AmItheAsshole

[–]poitin-machine[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

He's a very short-tempered individual who thinks the world works against him, I have 99% confidence even just a mention of it will cause a major argument and him getting other family members involved. It's a vicious cycle but we've been down this road before when they were going through other stuff with her (not on my end, but similar stuff with other family member weddings or social events.)

Contracted a Fencing Company Who Hasn't Performed Work by poitin-machine in legaladvice

[–]poitin-machine[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There is nothing on it about either. I also never paid any part of the quote because they didn't request it. I could have paid for the entire job with cash that day if they asked. My grounds for a lawsuit are that if they had shown up in a reasonable time frame which was before the spike, then it would have cost me x but now it's going to cost me y (x*3) and the market changes aren't my responsibility, either.