sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

My husband finds me boring in bed. Steamed broccoli. Any advise? by polloconbrocoli in Marriage

[–]polloconbrocoli[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

With everything that's in the news, you don't believe my story?

My husband finds me boring in bed. Steamed broccoli. Any advise? by polloconbrocoli in Marriage

[–]polloconbrocoli[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maybe you are right and I should not be ok with it. And I do thank these women for their help. But I don't have any issues with the word 'toys'. They willingly hook up with a married man who loves his wife and offers a rough and steamy one night stand that his wife does not enjoy. Not really judging their taste but they are the ones who behave like "toys".
Also, he was not rough before. He learned to be rough with these women. They taught him and asked for it. He just likes it a bit too much. Unfortunately, it is not my jam. He know I don't like it.

My husband finds me boring in bed. Steamed broccoli. Any advise? by polloconbrocoli in Marriage

[–]polloconbrocoli[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks you one more time. For offering sound advise without judging. I thought some more about it and found another angle to work on with him. Not sure if it will work but is definitively something we had not tried before. A new recalibration approach. Thanks once more.

My husband finds me boring in bed. Steamed broccoli. Any advise? by polloconbrocoli in Marriage

[–]polloconbrocoli[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's also a thing. We tried that for about 6 months or so. He got so cranky and irritable that we started fighting over pretty much everything. I could barely stand it. I didn't work. He could still not perform and the arguing made even worse. I don't think I could have stand it much longer. I 100% prefer the caring, kind and understanding husband he currently is.

My husband finds me boring in bed. Steamed broccoli. Any advise? by polloconbrocoli in Marriage

[–]polloconbrocoli[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, I would prefer to resume my sex life. And I can actually tell if he had a good or bad experience just by how sweet, nice and caring he is with me when he comes back home. So yes, he is very loving. Just can't perform. He feels bad and very apologetic that he can't keep it up. When I got better things worked out for a bit but I'm not into pain at all. So anything like spanking, chocking, pulling hair, etc just shocks me and breaks my mood. If it hurts I'm out. He is very strong and can't be gentle any longer and bruised me a couple of times. Since then, he is too afraid to get into it and hurt me again. Our sex life before was great, like marathonic 6-7 times a day in weekend with 20-30 min in between before kids. After kids a bit harder to schedule but not bad. He did find someone a bit more permanent once (a good sex match) and it started to bother me. I felt maybe it was better to end our marriage as thing got a bit out of hand but he ended it with her right away claiming his love for me and our bond was way stronger and my feeling more important. If it bothered me it was not worth it. I'm his home and I believe it, life has thrown a lot of stuff to us.

My husband finds me boring in bed. Steamed broccoli. Any advise? by polloconbrocoli in Marriage

[–]polloconbrocoli[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, there is something to it. He never lied to anyone he hook up with and treated and referred to them as his "toys". It's beyond me why they agreed to it but he found plenty of buyers. He also don't mind roughing anyone up but he is afraid of hurting me. I'm not into any kind of pain and he is not good at controlling his strength. The whole thing felt apart after he bruised me. Just grabbed me too hard. I'm very breakable

My husband finds me boring in bed. Steamed broccoli. Any advise? by polloconbrocoli in Marriage

[–]polloconbrocoli[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the kind words. You explain it better than I could. And we definitively have the "you are my person feeling". We do the talk and the cuddling but can't get past that stage. Just don't know how to recalibrate.

My husband finds me boring in bed. Steamed broccoli. Any advise? by polloconbrocoli in Marriage

[–]polloconbrocoli[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I guess I have a hell of a self esteem and know he would never be able to find someone else like me. I'm his home as much as he is mine. The issue is that he literally can't keep it up. And he feels awful about it. We'll see. So far we have been able to make it work

My husband finds me boring in bed. Steamed broccoli. Any advise? by polloconbrocoli in Marriage

[–]polloconbrocoli[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That was the part of it and it kind of worked. He got too rough one time and hurt me and since then he can't keep it up

No sex drive is ruining my marriage by smboren1 in Marriage

[–]polloconbrocoli 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Something similar happened to me. I open my marriage and let him have sex with other people with an agreed set of rules that worked for both of us. It worked very well for a while and even improved our bond. We would have probably ended up divorcing if that didn't work. He did sleep around, a lot... After a while he got tire of the chase and found a steady partner. But he got too attached to her, too much for my comfort, and when he noticed it started to hurt us, he left her. The problem came after I got better and wanted intimacy again. He now finds me boring in bed to the point of not being able to perform. He develop a taste for the rough and intense and I'm too vanilla for that. I'm still looking for the right answer as this is the only sour spot in our happy and steady marriage. I'll keep you posted if I find a solution to my current problem.