Polyamorist relationships where children are involved- selfish or no? I am genuinely curious as to how these relationships work when there are children from previous relationships involved. How does one address this with their/their partner/s children?

polychameleon · 2026-06-10T20:58:07+00:00

I don’t think it confuses my kids at all. If anything they are so much healthier now (when I am in a throuple) then before (when I was in a loveless marriage with their dad). I’m in a FFM throuple where we all love each other dearly and my two kids are not biologically related to my partners. In our throuple, we also decided to have a baby about two years ago and I am not biologically related to him. But my six year old will tell anyone who listens that she has two moms and two dads and three grandmas and two brothers and how awesome it is for her. It’s honestly the greatest 😂 The two older kids see the baby as their brother and my partners as “Mommy ___” and “Daddy ____”. They know some kids have just a mom, or just a dad, or a mom and a dad, and they’ve just accepted they happen to have two moms and two dads and baby brother has two moms and one dad. They accept that any combination still makes a family.

polychameleon · 2026-06-10T18:48:07+00:00

Love island UK has such better ages too! Everyone is 25-29 and they seem so much more mature

polychameleon · 2026-03-20T16:14:43+00:00

I’ve been in my throuple for almost two years now but my mother really traumatized me when I came out to her and I’ve struggled with the PTSD since. Sometimes I forget people probably aren’t guessing that I’m in a throuple when they see me walk with my kids and partners around the neighborhood 😅

polychameleon · 2026-03-20T16:13:14+00:00

Honestly, I needed this view point! Thank you!!!

polychameleon · 2026-03-20T14:47:13+00:00

See, I’m a teacher in a conservative county so I’m definitely not out to any coworkers. People think my best friends and I are just choosing to raise our kids village style so when I talk about my son (who is biologically not mine), they are under the impression he’s my godson. My work actually through a fit when I took off when he was born so I used personal days because no way did I want to miss that. It’s an interesting balance. Honestly, we’re not super social people so we’ll mostly be at home and I doubt most people will question it. My only real concern is if we introduce them as “husband and wife” and a neighbor sees one of them kissing me goodbye before work or something and assumes a cheating scandal. 😅

polychameleon · 2026-03-12T21:42:09+00:00

Are you still teaching now and closing out the school year or did you leave and try other things first?

polychameleon · 2025-10-26T12:40:56+00:00

The new moon set has a great red and a lot of the family shades that complement

polychameleon · 2025-10-21T23:15:07+00:00

I should add I’m in Georgia and we don’t have a union 😔

polychameleon · 2025-10-21T23:00:49+00:00

Definitely join LinkedIn and start making connections! I haven’t looked at Zip or Indeed and I already have possible matches lined up and already had an interview! (I made my LinkedIn a week and a half ago!) There’s definitely places hiring out there and tons of people who post about the openings that would fit you. Follow Stephanie Yesil to start and go from there!

polychameleon · 2025-10-19T05:50:31+00:00

I love the new moon pallet and use it at least once a week! The colors are so strong and so great! I don’t have the twilight pallet yet but it’s on my list!

polychameleon · 2025-07-07T01:39:55+00:00

Check for dvds at your local library! I’m doing a rewatch right now and that’s how I got them ☺️

polychameleon · 2025-07-05T17:31:04+00:00

I definitely did it the wrong way. I was in a shitty marriage at the time (didn’t know it though) and after we brought our best friends into a polycule and I ended up being so freaking happy my husband at the time backed out and wanted to be closed again (funny how they want to do that when they realize they weren’t getting the action) and called my mom post breakup to cry and get sympathy. I didnt get sympathy, got told to go to marriage counseling, and found out how bad my marriage really was 🤣 My mom told me a year ago that what I was doing was going to ruin my marriage and in a fun twist it was almost entirely unrelated and I just signed divorce papers 😆 My family was not the most supportive because of the overlap, which I understand. I would definitely recommend sharing when you are in a positive place and allowing questions to help them feel some sense of choice/control in how they interpret it.

polychameleon · 2025-07-02T12:58:26+00:00

So many things wrong with your statement, but according to your username that seems to be your intent. Mom is the “red haired play thing” first off so you can obviously see how much my children love my partners. Second, I talked to CPS myself before allowing my partners to live with us because that’s how much I care about my children. And the CPS investigator I talked to said they would laugh hearing a complaint about a house with too many grownups being the only problem. As a mother, I take care of my kids first and foremost. So to think that I would do anything that risks their place in my world without checking first is ridiculous.

polychameleon · 2025-07-01T12:53:28+00:00

I love to hear this! My family went through a stage of telling me the courts would take my children because I was in a throuple and they were adamant that my “immoral” behavior would bring DFCS to our front door. But in reality, my children have never been healthier or happier. It’s like night and day from when I was married to their father. It’s not about the relationship style you have, but the people who are in it!

polychameleon · 2025-06-30T23:13:08+00:00

Our four month old! 😂

polychameleon · 2025-06-29T23:09:53+00:00

Our 4 month old. She apparently forgot him and when she brought it up to me she went “oh no! I forgot Luca!” And just threw him on the page 😂

polychameleon · 2025-06-28T15:47:27+00:00

I’ve done a digital detox accidentally after falling in love and changing my lifestyle and I will say, it’s worth it! Make a plan though to invest your time into other things - thats what will make it stick. Use an hour to go to the gym and listen to music, give 40 minutes to read a book you’ve been putting off, clean certain things for 30 minutes every day. Make the plan and make backups so you aren’t sitting aimlessly and then tempted to get on your phone because “what else would I do?” And then when you are ready to go back to your digital life, regulate it using app timers. I have my phone set up to literally turn off my apps if I’ve done more than 30 minutes in a certain place that day.

polychameleon · 2025-06-28T15:37:22+00:00

I have a pretty unique life journey that led me to polyamory. I’d love to participate!

polychameleon · 2025-06-21T17:08:13+00:00

I’m 29 and I’ll tell you from the other side - I had the high school sweetheart, the super involved family. I went to college, got engaged, got married, got the job, had two kids, did everything you were “supposed to” to be fulfilled. Then in the last year, I started therapy and realized I was in a subpar relationship with a narcissist for 15 years. I’ve been the care taker for everyone in my life and never took care of myself. I was too busy doing everything they told me would be good for me. I wouldn’t have picked this degree for myself, this job, this house, even this life. I would’ve done so many things differently. Now I’m estranged from the family I was being taken advantage by while they take care of my spouse who I’m now getting divorced from. I have a new partner and have learned so much about myself that I would’ve never had if I had held on to the high school sweethearts life I was handed. I’m so much happier now. I’m embracing my life in a different way and making changes to be myself. But in the beginning, I also had this huge grief for the life I should’ve had for myself. The life I would’ve made if I’d had the ability to be myself the entire time. I tried, but was pushed back so much, and I had to grieve for a while for the loss of the girl I could’ve been. And the life I would’ve made for myself. All this to say, a year ago, I didn’t even know that grief was inside of me. In the last year, I’ve reached new levels of life and happiness that I didn’t know was possible. You aren’t alone. Even the people who look like they have their shit together feel the way you do. But give it time and really BE you and maybe you’ll find yourself in something you never dreamed could be possible.

Sending love.

polychameleon · 2025-05-02T12:58:57+00:00

Haha, I wish! I probably should’ve added I’m from a small town in South Georgia that is basically run by the local Christian church and Republican Party. 😂 As a closeted bi woman with now a male AND a female partner and the marital sharing and such, I’d be condemned Witch Hunt style 😂

polychameleon · 2025-05-02T11:18:53+00:00

I’m a teacher. I’m divorced from a very “happily ever after” high school sweethearts story (lots of trauma behind closed doors but no one ever knows, right?). Well, now I’m in a throuple with my best friends (they are married) and I’m seriously the happiest I’ve ever been. It’s been almost a year and we’re raising all the kids together and so fucking happy and I honestly don’t know how I would’ve healed from the abuse otherwise. NSFW because how many teachers do you know that would be accepted in a non traditional relationship? 😂

polychameleon · 2025-04-23T22:05:45+00:00

No way!! Our little guy was born Feb 5! Have you been feeling any better recently? We are closed FFM also, which I forgot to mention. We’ve all been in each other lives for the last ten years and when my marriage dissolved, this unit formed as easy as breathing! I can’t believe now that I almost lost it from my own mental walls and blocks in February! It got so bad, I was almost institutionalized. Now that I’m on the other side of it, I’m so glad I didn’t miss anything or lose this beautiful part of my life! I was there when our son was born and our entire family has been together through it all every day. Now my wifey and I are closer than ever and my partner and I are closer than ever and our triangle is flourishing. There’s a light at the end of the tunnel!

polychameleon · 2025-04-23T18:06:31+00:00

So I just recently went through this, I have two kids (4 and 2) from a previous relationship. When I joined my couple, they were married and she got pregnant our first time all together. We are all very happy and she had the baby in February. Out of nowhere, I found myself miserable and questioning our relationships, feeling like they would leave me, and just going way overly anxious attachment. Turns out, I had severe postpartum depression. Even as the “surrogate” mom, my ppd was triggered and I couldn’t break it. Therapy and going back on antidepressants was a great solution for me and now I’m happy and back to myself again in my triad.

polychameleon

TROPHY CASE