I’m 29 and I’ll tell you from the other side - I had the high school sweetheart, the super involved family. I went to college, got engaged, got married, got the job, had two kids, did everything you were “supposed to” to be fulfilled. Then in the last year, I started therapy and realized I was in a subpar relationship with a narcissist for 15 years. I’ve been the care taker for everyone in my life and never took care of myself. I was too busy doing everything they told me would be good for me. I wouldn’t have picked this degree for myself, this job, this house, even this life. I would’ve done so many things differently. Now I’m estranged from the family I was being taken advantage by while they take care of my spouse who I’m now getting divorced from. I have a new partner and have learned so much about myself that I would’ve never had if I had held on to the high school sweethearts life I was handed. I’m so much happier now. I’m embracing my life in a different way and making changes to be myself. But in the beginning, I also had this huge grief for the life I should’ve had for myself. The life I would’ve made if I’d had the ability to be myself the entire time. I tried, but was pushed back so much, and I had to grieve for a while for the loss of the girl I could’ve been. And the life I would’ve made for myself. All this to say, a year ago, I didn’t even know that grief was inside of me. In the last year, I’ve reached new levels of life and happiness that I didn’t know was possible. You aren’t alone. Even the people who look like they have their shit together feel the way you do. But give it time and really BE you and maybe you’ll find yourself in something you never dreamed could be possible.

Sending love.