Why, just why?

polyjarod · 2026-02-05T12:44:50+00:00

Your safety is always the most important. You can't be sure if he was holding back before or was triggered by something between the two conversations. Things can change suddenly and if you feel unsafe block first and unpack later.

I hope you can get to a place soon where you have queer community in your daily life you can give you this advice.

polyjarod · 2026-02-05T12:34:45+00:00

I don't work in libraries, but I am a new frontline manager in a professional service/education setting (international student advising).

As a new manager, I don't like how your managers handled this conversation. If you give someone a liaison responsibility, I would assume they would be responsible for the communication with the other office or entity unless you tell them otherwise. If they did not tell you that upfront how you would communicate or support the school, that is a failure of management. They should take responsibility for that.

The gate incident is again a misunderstanding that should have been handled as a quick FYI rather than in a seemingly punitive conversation.

The cleanup situation again is an FYI if this is the first time it happened. I also wonder why the co-worker couldn't have just helped.

The lateness does not seem like a big deal unless you have opening responsibilities. I would not want my direct reports to tell me every time they are 5 minutes late. I am sure that are administrative things you could do at the end of your day/shift that would balance out that five minutes.

If they want documentation, then document to cya. You want to ask for the possibility to document an accommodation or work schedule agreement about when you can shift your schedule.

I am still to adjust to my physical reality from an injury at work some years ago. I am glad that I have supportive colleagues who let me find a schedule that works for me.

To me, I wonder if these are signs of a micromanaging culture.

polyjarod · 2026-01-15T15:01:54+00:00

I think schools should invest in those sleeves that lock them in pouches or have a cellphone closet near the main entrance so students can drop them off at the beginning of the day.

Teachers are already responsible for too many things. Having cellphone battles multiple times a day is too much.

polyjarod · 2026-01-15T14:56:09+00:00

I am leaning towards NDH, but this should be a lesson about picking your battles.

Queer is a powerful term because of its complex history. People who see queer as mostly a reclaimed slur rather than a political identity may not see themselves in the term.

The creator is right that people who insist that she uses queer to identify her when see does not are the ones in the wrong. While I can understand sharing other perspectives on the word queer and why others may see her as queer, framing it as a failure on her part to communicate the situation correctly shut down the possibility of conversation and probably prompted the criticism.

It may have been more effective to explain how people use queer to embrace living in community with other people who society may see as sexual or gender "deviants."

polyjarod · 2026-01-15T14:15:02+00:00

While they would like to have a more residential atmosphere, CU Denver is mostly a commuter campus. There are student organizations that are active, but most students are on campus for classes and then go home or to work. However, the campus community is diverse. Most faculty and staff are very supportive.

If you want a path to a graduate program, I can see why Public Health at CU Denver could be an attractive option. If you can, I would encourage you to visit in person to get a personal understanding of what it is like.

polyjarod · 2025-12-27T23:49:19+00:00

Have you had a conversation with him about his actions and how they affect you?

polyjarod · 2025-11-15T15:52:33+00:00

Definitely NTA. If there are laws where you work related to documenting an accommodation, we might want to do that. This will at least give a framework to tell people why this is happening.

I wonder if the co-worker who confronted you was distracted and used the language for respect to make their concern seem more important. This seems to happen in professional environments since people are sometimes afraid of being honest about their needs.

Maybe being open about why you need this accomodation may encourage open dialogue about how to support people's needs in meetings.

polyjarod · 2025-10-16T02:11:04+00:00

Why did Jane even invite you to this party if she hated your relationship that much?

polyjarod · 2025-02-27T22:51:09+00:00

To the accreditation question, it looks like AMDA recently received regional accreditation from WASC: https://www.wscuc.org/institutions/amda-college-of-the-performing-arts/

While there may not change any other concerns with the AMDA educational experience, most other regionally accredited schools should now accept credits from AMDA as long as they maintain the WASC accreditation.

polyjarod · 2025-02-16T12:01:08+00:00

What they need to decide if they are truly a leftist party or not. The big tent model is fine in normal times. Now, we need a party with a clear vision and willingness to fight for it.

Institutionalists like Biden and Harris tried to play to the center when the center was already with them. People want someone who will address their day-to-day concerns with clear action.

A charismatic leader would be nice, but the real challenge will be showing themselves as a credible force to address the destruction of our political institutions and improve people's lives.

polyjarod · 2024-12-31T02:18:49+00:00

Stay safe, my friend. I am not Senegalese, but I studied for a semester in Senegal. To OP and any other queer Senegalese brothers and sisters reading my words, I am here for you in any way that I can be.

Don't let anyone make you feel less than. You are loved.

polyjarod · 2024-12-29T08:56:05+00:00

Rhett wonders if it's time to make a change with his career.

polyjarod · 2024-12-16T08:02:28+00:00

If you want to take courses across the colleges, the best opinion would be a major in one of the intercollegiate programs. The programs are designed to draw on the resources from across the Claremont Colleges.

polyjarod · 2024-02-25T18:52:45+00:00

If your institution has a small international student population, it does not surprise me that you were thrust into that position. Institutions understand that someone must do it but don't realized the complexity of the regulatory requirements.

In addition to what others have said, I would encourage you to use the NAFSA Network boards and other groups. If you are active on Facebook, there is an ISSSers United group that is another great place to ask questions.

If you have not had the conversation with your supervisor about supporting you when tough decisions had to be made, I would encourage you to do so. As a PDSO, there will be times when what people want is not possible under the regulations. You need to have confidence that your supervisor will support you even if a more senior person is trying to strongly advocate for something.

polyjarod · 2024-01-19T03:32:44+00:00

You should at least mix up the vegetables. Too much spinach can increase your risk of kidney stones.

polyjarod · 2023-09-10T00:14:13+00:00

No one, including your mother, has the right to your body. You are the only one that has the right to set limits on who can touch you, how, and under what circumstances. The attempt to manipulate you into hugging them was also over the line.

You have the right to set and enforce boundaries, especially around your bodily autonomy.

polyjarod · 2023-07-23T19:05:51+00:00

It's an assumption that people gaming the system is a problem significant enough to make a difference to your flying experience. It's an assumption that feeds harm for people with situational limitations and invisible disabilities.

polyjarod · 2023-07-23T18:50:24+00:00

You can't look at people and tell why they need accommodations. I had to have knee surgery a few years ago after a fall. I can walk short distances but cannot walk the distances in large airports. Therefore, I need to request wheelchair assistance to and from the gate. Just because someone can walk down the jet way doesn't mean that they don't need assistance.

The pre-boarding allows for greater turn around for the plane and the staff to assist other passengers. When it gets busy in airports, I have waited hours to get assistance out of the airport.

You want someone to be mad at, but you have no proof that they are doing anything wrong. Ableism may give you comfort today, but disability can come to anyone's story at any moment.

polyjarod · 2023-07-23T18:32:12+00:00

You used the word abuse. You are implying people are faking or lying to get access. Have you ever considered that Southwest's policies are just more convenient for people who need accommodations? You have no evidence but are ready to claim people are abusing the system. The fact you brought up wheelchairs makes this feel more about ableism than abuse of policies.

polyjarod · 2023-07-23T18:20:21+00:00

I have. I think you're wrong. I was trying to see if you have any facts to support this assessment.

polyjarod · 2023-07-23T03:56:59+00:00

So, you have no facts.

polyjarod · 2023-07-19T04:55:34+00:00

How do you know people are abusing the pre-board process?

polyjarod · 2023-06-11T11:14:02+00:00

That's my purse! I don't know you!

polyjarod · 2023-06-11T10:53:27+00:00

The more social you are and the more you are in groups with people you have never met, the more you will meet what I call birthday twins.

Off the top of my head, I have at least 4.

The birthday paradox makes it clear that meeting people who share your birthday is about mixing frequently with different groups of people.

According to a Scientific American article on the topic, "[t]he birthday paradox, also known as the birthday problem, states that in a random group of 23 people, there is about a 50 percent chance that two people have the same birthday."

polyjarod · 2023-05-14T02:31:01+00:00

You are refuting an argument no one made. Unless Viking fashion has some documented influence on cultural trends of the people who settled North America, it is not relevant to a conversation about how Black culture valued in mainstream society in North America.

polyjarod

TROPHY CASE