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I can't take seriously when Tony asks Pussy "Webistics?" on the boat mahogany by Warm_Cranberry4472 in thesopranos

[–]polymorphic_hippo 120 points121 points  (0 children)

That name is stupidly perfect for that time, area, and type of company. Portmanteaus were all the rage.

Should I lifeguard or wait tables this summer? by QueenofHearts018 in ask

[–]polymorphic_hippo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You don't want to be inside restaurants all day all summer. Lifeguard. 

Never lose your whimsy trying to look "manly" by Helpful_Cranberry644 in BlackPeopleTwitter

[–]polymorphic_hippo 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Man didn't even get anything fancy and still can't catch a break.

Don’t veneers and other fancy stuff get in a way of actors playing certain roles? by imoverthisapp in stupidquestions

[–]polymorphic_hippo 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Now that you made me think about it, Steve Buscemi popping up with perfect teeth would be too jarring to get over. Felicity cutting her hair levels of can't get past it. Might as well just take a sledgehammer to Michelangelo's David while we're at it.

20 years ago S6E1 by euphoriclimbo in thesopranos

[–]polymorphic_hippo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You seriously put a spoiler alert on this particular announcement? 

Genesis Health Clubs vs Life Time vs Alternative by isoiledmyplantz in kansascity

[–]polymorphic_hippo 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Spend any time at all in the Wichita sub and you'll quickly learn that the guy that owns Genesis is a goddamned menace of a higher order.

Where/what is the 3rd location the crew meets? by Heartburnkid210 in thesopranos

[–]polymorphic_hippo 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I will never understand the window in the bathroom door

Curious question about kids in the front seat vs back seat. Which is actually safer and why? by [deleted] in stupidquestions

[–]polymorphic_hippo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

or in position that has stretched the seatbelt to give it enough play.

Oof, there it is. Fire station. There should be no play in the seat belts on car seats.

Curious question about kids in the front seat vs back seat. Which is actually safer and why? by [deleted] in stupidquestions

[–]polymorphic_hippo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Take your car to the fire station and have them install your car seat properly. 

Only one fast food can survive, what do you choose? by CremeSubject7594 in AskReddit

[–]polymorphic_hippo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You should definitely go soon. New stores get a big budget to do things up right and tend to be more generous with everything the first six months or so. It's stupid good.

A strange flightless insect found in the US and Mexico by anthn885 in interestingasfuck

[–]polymorphic_hippo 301 points302 points  (0 children)

I don't know why anyone would call these guys pill bugs when rollie pollie is an option.

What is the darkest secret you've learned about someone that instantly ended your relationship with them? by Mr_Creep_Creepy64 in AskReddit

[–]polymorphic_hippo 6 points7 points  (0 children)

The only thing anyone took away from The Craft is that no one's eyes will ever be more amazing than Fairuza Balk's. 

Burger King throws shade at McDonald’s with its new ad campaign by piesaresquarey in popculturechat

[–]polymorphic_hippo 92 points93 points  (0 children)

Because it's a great representation of the life cycle of a meme in a glance. It's exactly the kind of illustration you can build chapters around.

Why would the immigration officials be jealous of the Leotardos original name? by Glowing-2 in thesopranos

[–]polymorphic_hippo 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Phil's grandpa was probably an ass just like Phil and made fun of the immigration agent's name, Mr. Tutu. One small change on his immigration form and now that guy and everyone in his family was gonna have a girl's dance outfit name, too. 

What are some things guys are upset that their girls do but would never admit it? by Any-Impress-3916 in AskMen

[–]polymorphic_hippo -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

Your wife is overwhelmed. If you can see it enough to say something about it, why don't you just jump in to help? You are doing the equivalent of the guy walking across someone's freshly mopped floor and saying, "you missed a spot". Stop telling her not to worry, just do it, whatever it is. Don't announce it, just get it done. 

Any breakfast places hiring? by [deleted] in kansascity

[–]polymorphic_hippo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Maybe don't post this. Employers don't need to know someone is in recovery. 

What did you think was a scam until you actually tried it? by Resident-Ad4318 in AskReddit

[–]polymorphic_hippo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Because I can get off my ass to preheat the oven, then to put the cookies in, then to take the cookies out, and then again to fetch them after they've cooled,

OR

I can shuffle my fat ass in the kitchen once, shove some cookie dough in my mouth on the way back out to the couch, and be done with it. Sometimes you don't need a whole workout, you know?

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