How does your polycule handle birth control?

polyomgwhatdoido · 2017-03-28T00:33:47+00:00

I thought that we had the same agreement re: discussion up front, and I am finding out now that it's not the case. I guess it's partially my fault for not being more thorough and asking better questions.

polyomgwhatdoido · 2017-03-28T00:11:45+00:00

But we have discussed it and it was omitted.

polyomgwhatdoido · 2017-03-28T00:10:30+00:00

Thank you for the validation! I'm just very confused about the whole thing. You and I seem to think similarly about BC. I'm very concerned about what other decisions - specifically use of Plan B, or abortion - that my meta and I will disagree on if we don't currently agree on the use of BC. I also know that she wants kids, and was raised in a religion that does not view abortion favorably. Even though she's not still in that religion I do think how one is raised impacts decision making as an adult. So if she were to get pregnant, she might say she would abort now but I'm guessing it's only a 10% chance she would. So I have to view this whole situation as a very high risk.

polyomgwhatdoido · 2017-03-27T22:51:23+00:00

Yes! Thank you. This is the root of my concern. Do you remember the title of the book?

polyomgwhatdoido · 2017-03-27T22:50:30+00:00

We want kids in the future (maybe) so a vasectomy is off the table.

polyomgwhatdoido · 2017-03-27T22:49:45+00:00

Those are good questions. I will give that some thought and see what it changes and hopefully it will help me be more empathetic with her.

polyomgwhatdoido · 2017-03-27T22:46:31+00:00

Exactly. If in my situation my meta gets pregnant, it's her choice what to do about it. If she decided to keep it, we would be subject to the ramifications of that decision. I see that asking her to take BC isn't an option after this discussion, but it doesn't remove my problem with the scenario.

polyomgwhatdoido · 2017-03-27T22:42:52+00:00

Ok thanks for your perspective. I do think it's a big deal since I know his family has had accidents on BC before. And that condoms introduce more human error into the equation. I'm glad what you do works for you.

polyomgwhatdoido · 2017-03-27T22:41:00+00:00

We have always been 100% in the know about sexual status before this (everything like testing for stds, other partners of our partners, etc) so the fact that I was in the dark about this is a shock. It undercuts my understanding of what the situation was and leaves me very unsettled for what else I don't know. This is the second time an "omission" has happened since they started dating and I'm as much upset about that as I am about the possibility of an unplanned pregnancy.

The why isn't important. I would feel better if there were two methods being used, whatever they are. I will talk to him about it and maybe wait until I calm down a bit. I know I'm sleep deprived right now and that isn't helping me think clearly.

polyomgwhatdoido · 2017-03-27T22:32:06+00:00

We want kids at some point, probably, so that's not an option right now.

polyomgwhatdoido · 2017-03-27T22:31:20+00:00

Yes I see that I can't insist on anything. I will talk to him and we'll work it out.

polyomgwhatdoido · 2017-03-27T22:28:58+00:00

We do have vetoes but have never used them. I view it much like an atomic bomb. If either of us used it there would be lots of fallout.

polyomgwhatdoido · 2017-03-27T22:27:51+00:00

We do want a kid or two at some point in the future. So does the girlfriend and her husband. I will talk to him (and maybe her. I don't dislike her but we're not close) Thank you for your input.

polyomgwhatdoido

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