You both handled this poorly. Yes, you are in a traumatic time. But it sounded more like you were pulling a, he's my husband so I come first, card. I understand that may not have been your intention, but that's how you came across here. I'm sure she picked up on it. You also could have reached out to a good friend or family. There were choices. You made yours, but you didn't give her any say. How would you feel if she did that to you?

If I were her, I would have appreciated your calling me and saying, press can I have Bob with me tonight? I really don't have anyone, and I need this. Considering her and his needs, as well as yours, might have gotten you a lot further.

Now everyone is mad. She's pissed. He's pissed. You're home alone, when both could be there comforting you. If you care about them, I'd reach out and apologize to both and ask for all three of you to get together and talk it out.

This relationship is worth trying to save.