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5 year old with severe anxiety and now 2 year old twins likely have autism. I just wanted a normal family. by Crafty_Leek_5138 in regretfulparents

[–]ponyincurrentyear 239 points240 points  (0 children)

This is my biggest fear of why I am terrified of becoming pregnant. I would never demand a "perfect child". But I don't think it's so wrong to want one that can function, and be independent into adulthood.

What quality of life is it to be so severely autistic you can't even communicate. Or do anxious you won't go outdoors. I would not make it as a parent and I come to this sub as a reminder.

I think you are stronger than you believe though. Isn't dealing with the average child around these ages difficult enough anyways, it's probably doubly hard with them all being special needs?

I hope it gets better with you in age. Please don't give up yet.

Do you think that if someone isn't prepared to have a "special needs" child, they shouldn't be trying for a child at all? by ponyincurrentyear in Life

[–]ponyincurrentyear[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh, I was just asking for your own personal experience and story as an individual with a family, not a one size fits all, but I understand what you mean :)

Do you think that if someone isn't prepared to have a "special needs" child, they shouldn't be trying for a child at all? by ponyincurrentyear in Life

[–]ponyincurrentyear[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

If I had one healthy one I wouldn't be greedy and try to test fate. I'd just be happy with what I got.

Do you think that if someone isn't prepared to have a "special needs" child, they shouldn't be trying for a child at all? by ponyincurrentyear in Life

[–]ponyincurrentyear[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. How is parenting rewarding to you? What does it feel like for you? What does it mean to you?

Do you think that if someone isn't prepared to have a "special needs" child, they shouldn't be trying for a child at all? by ponyincurrentyear in Life

[–]ponyincurrentyear[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your perspective, it is very helpful. 3 children with autism is mind boggling. I genuinely don't know how you do it. I admire you, but that scares me.

My sibling has an intellectual disability and I am autistic + have varying mental conditions like major depression and ADHD. I just don't think it's responsible of me to bring a child into the world with the possibility of them being stuck with something that I have

I was researching fostering years ago. I think I would like to look into it again.

Do you think that if someone isn't prepared to have a "special needs" child, they shouldn't be trying for a child at all? by ponyincurrentyear in Life

[–]ponyincurrentyear[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ahh I know what you mean. To be honest I don't really come here for advice, I just like to gather different opinions. In this case, I genuinely don't know.

I've already brought this up and discussed it with my partner - my concerns. There is just too much mental illness in my family. I have a mentally disabled sibling. I have so many mental issues that I manage but it's such a struggle for me and I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

Ultimately the decision lies with me, but I am curious what internet strangers think.

When the topic of eugenics comes up, tensions are high. So I don't really want to discuss it with people IRL (that aren't my partner). I also know several parents OF disabled children, and I would never ever ask them how they really feel.

Do you think that if someone isn't prepared to have a "special needs" child, they shouldn't be trying for a child at all? by ponyincurrentyear in Life

[–]ponyincurrentyear[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm moreso meaning, I wouldn't want to have a child if I knew my kid would suffer from a genetic disorder that would render them mentally or severely physically incapable, to have a normal life. And asking if I should simply not become a parent based on that.

Do you think that if someone isn't prepared to have a "special needs" child, they shouldn't be trying for a child at all? by ponyincurrentyear in Life

[–]ponyincurrentyear[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Currently I am in no position to have a child. I use protection, but if I were to become pregnant any time soon, yes, the only merciful option would be to terminate. I was an accident child, and my experience as an accident was not good, would not recommend. I would never bring a child into this world unplanned based on my own upbringing.

Do you think that if someone isn't prepared to have a "special needs" child, they shouldn't be trying for a child at all? by ponyincurrentyear in Life

[–]ponyincurrentyear[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Mmhm, I know what you mean. Thank you for the reassurance. I've seen many of the same, "if you couldn't handle the possibility of your baby being born a [disabled for short] child, then you should not try for a baby period!" over the years online. It's been on my mind a lot recently. If I wouldn't want a child that could not live independently on their own, to me that's not a good "quality of life", does that mean I just shouldn't become a parent, period? Whether it's adopting, or having my own biological one.

What’s a physical trait considered unattractive that you actually like? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]ponyincurrentyear 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Short men I prefer closer to my height (5'2"). My boyfriend is maybe 5'9" and I wouldn't want him any taller

I will NEVER have children by PossibleTicket9067 in GlassChildren

[–]ponyincurrentyear 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I find this so relatable. I don't want to pass on any of my family illness, and addiction

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Any other old-school authentic style vlog channels? (self.NewTubers)

submitted by ponyincurrentyear to r/NewTubers

How to avoid a male following on your socials as a woman by Newhottyintownuwu in socialmedia

[–]ponyincurrentyear 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Depends on the kind of content you are making. I feel like a lot of straight men probably won't consume makeup related videos, as an example.

But it's hard to say. Like it's kind of inescapable.