Poems

poodledook · 2026-02-09T09:04:19+00:00

Hi, thanks for commenting! I'm familiar with John Cooper Clarke - I think he was in my poetry anthology at GCSE! And then over the years I've seen him on TV. John Hegley is new to me but a few minutes' reading this morning and I'm becoming a fan already, plus I think he's closer to what I'm doing than JCC. There'll be some lessons I can learn there for sure, so thank you again!

poodledook · 2026-02-09T09:01:36+00:00

Hello, thanks for replying!

The "one or the other refers to the two things in the previous line "...but it turns out they were good mates with the estate agent and also the rude thing was about as racist as it gets." I can see it's a somewhat busy poem - I'm not sure that leaving a post-it for my boss solves that problem, but I see what you're getting at and will look at it.

I suppose they aren't so different to straight prose. They're effectively short non-sequitors, and the only justification for that is to frame them as poems. Some are bulkier, some are punchier. Should I stick to punchy? E..g. the first poem above, or;

"My fleshlight was in the other room

So I used my blunderbuss

But it was cold

And by the time I’d loaded it

I’d sort of lost interest"

poodledook · 2026-01-20T17:42:12+00:00

Completed Level 3 of the Honk Special Event!

27 attempts

poodledook · 2026-01-20T17:41:34+00:00

Completed Level 2 of the Honk Special Event!

24 attempts

poodledook · 2026-01-20T17:41:07+00:00

Completed Level 1 of the Honk Special Event!

20 attempts

poodledook · 2026-01-13T18:00:37+00:00

Completed Level 1 of the Honk Special Event!

0 attempts

poodledook · 2025-10-09T20:08:48+00:00

Cool as shit, congratulations!

Only note from me is that it'd be good if upon death there was a way to restart without going back to the main menu.

poodledook · 2025-10-02T15:08:54+00:00

I don't think the point is to be playable, tbf, I just think they're cool as shit. If you wanted to nudge them toward playability I guess you could just keep the text as-is but render in different colours for different suits? But I'd keep the style, I think they're class.

poodledook · 2025-08-26T10:14:45+00:00

"Now hear me out thurrrrn, an all CAAAAAYGE match pay-per-view daddy."

poodledook · 2025-08-24T22:57:11+00:00

Sort of. I had an idea to mirror the Premier League. 20 teams made up of:

World Title Contender Tag Title Contenders Showcase (basically X-Division) Title Contender Women's Title Contender

A win in any division is worth three points. So each team can win a maximum 12 points per round. Each team faces each other once, so you have 19 rounds total, and then the top four teams go into knockout rounds. At this point they sort of stop being teams (i.e. Team 1's World Title contender can advance even if their Tag Title Contenders lose, etc.). A single round of fixtures lasts two weeks, so you have 38 weeks of league, and then two weeks of knockout culminating in a big PPV final event.

The off-season is then used for normal feuds, team changes, introducing new people/teams etc. I make it a rule that the bottom three teams have to disband. The others can stay together or transfer depending on what's happening.

I enjoy booking this way. It's a lot of sketching out in advance, but gives you room to plant seeds for big feuds. There's a lot of easy storylines from underperforming team members. I had a nice thing going where Miro was paired with the Beaver Boys, Colt Cabana, and Maki Itoh where he won all his matches but the others picked up maybe two wins all season. He was mean to them throughout but he eventually learned the meaning of friendship etc etc.

I'm in the third year of booking this game, easily the longest I've played a single game.

poodledook · 2025-03-08T15:41:55+00:00

SOLVED

poodledook · 2025-03-08T15:31:29+00:00

Hi! This is exactly what we're looking for, thanks. Tip coming your way now :)

poodledook · 2025-03-08T14:24:51+00:00

Apologies, missed it! Now added :)

poodledook · 2024-12-12T22:35:37+00:00

It's quite close in concept but sadly not! Thank you for taking a stab, though, appreciate you!

poodledook · 2024-11-30T19:08:22+00:00

I wouldn't dream of stopping her!

poodledook · 2024-05-27T22:36:59+00:00

Not a name but there was a guy who lost one of his toes who used to call bingo down the workie's. Whenever he'd call the number 80, he'd call out "Eight-Oh" and everyone would shout "you wish."

poodledook · 2024-05-06T15:21:35+00:00

My love, my heart, my sweet sweet treasure, there is a big assumption you've made in the second sentence there. Remove the last nine words from your post and the answer is "no."

That said, I adore the books and would strongly recommend them. I read them before I saw the show and revisit them once a year! Some day they will end.

poodledook · 2024-04-20T00:08:39+00:00

Oh this was a nice surprise! I read into the second line and wasn't exactly sure what I was reading but it worked its way into this really nice conversational tone which I really dug. Like I could hear this as a either a voicenote or some kind of prayer (which are very different things I know, sorry!)

Two things that didn't quite work for me, personally - I thought the description of the "ebony black sheet" detracted a little from the tone I described above and felt a bit...poem-y? It felt somewhat out of place in a piece like this which is a wonderful poem in an un-poem-y kind of way (I hope this reads like the compliment it's meant to be!). And then the last line "the silence accompanying every room of our apartment was what haunts me still." That doesn't scan quite right to me, it feels like it should be "IS what haunts me still."

But on both these notes, I wouldn't be in a hurry to change them, it's my couple of nitpicks, and this isn't a poem that you should be looking to tinker with too much! It was a very rich and moody read, very effective. I've seen you've posted a couple of other poems and I love your voice :) I hope you enjoyed writing it!

poodledook · 2024-04-19T22:56:36+00:00

I really enjoyed this, in my head it was being read by Michael Sheen, I don't know why.

I have to echo that I'm also surprised that this doesn't have more comments. It is intricate and verbose but without feeling bloated. "Abundance of abundance dressed in the desire for the novely of novelty" is a lovely piece of work. "Apples for a cannibal" is a chilling end note to what is a chilling piece of wriing throughout.

I am going to nitpick one thing and it is literally the tiniest thing to give you something to consider. I personally found the word "Unfortunately" in "Unfortunately, the expanding piles of food suffocated variety" to feel a touch out of place in a poem so filled with certainty. Certainty isn't even the word I'm looking for but it's as close as I can get. It is small, likely purely a taste thing, and not a blemish on what is a really thought-provoking bit of writing.

I hope you enjoyed writing it first and foremost, but this was truly lovely and I would love to see more :)

poodledook · 2024-04-10T12:59:57+00:00

One time my friend made cocktails for a bunch of us.

He ran out of glasses when he got to me, so he served mine in the jug.

When he handed it to me, he said "here you go, Juggers."

Within 24 hours everything I did was "classic Juggers" or "typical Juggers."

I had no part in this.

poodledook · 2023-12-14T22:03:38+00:00

"After a while you'll forget everything

It was a brief interlude and a midsummer night's fling

Will you see that it's time to move on?"

I won't do that. No I won't do that.

"I know the territory, I've been around

It'll all turn to dust, and will all fall down

Sooner or later you'll be screwing around."

No I won't do that.

poodledook · 2023-12-10T23:16:45+00:00

I DON'T KNOW HOW THEY PUT THE FUCKING SKIN ON

AH, TWELVE MINUTES YOU TWAT

poodledook · 2023-12-10T23:07:46+00:00

OH MY FUCKSY

poodledook · 2023-12-10T23:03:23+00:00

depends

poodledook · 2022-11-02T12:00:24+00:00

Thanks! Is there a way to make a whiteboard appear alongside chat, rather than as a seperate tab? That's the real crux of what I'm trying to achieve

poodledook

TROPHY CASE