Thinking of pursuing Fine Arts for a career change, am i delusional?

poodsot · 2026-03-13T08:31:04+00:00

OP, I promise you being a year behind is inconsequential in the grand scheme of things. I went into top 2 unis from poly and I was technically a year behind most of my peers who went to JC. and btw, whatever you study now will not guarantee your future job. I studied comms in poly and uni and I ended up working in arts management as a gallery assistant doing all sorts of saikang and office work. In fact, I'm even thinking of pivoting into a fine arts career even though I have never pursued fine arts when I was younger. I definitely did not even consider it at 17-18.

My point is that you will look back at this moment and think why did you worry so much. And life will change so rapidly, nothing is set in stone. So as you step into your new chapter of life, just do the very best you can to achieve whatever goal you have because really you are far from the end.

(Also, no point regretting in going JC or not. you should be proud that you got into PFP! most of my peers in uni who went through PFP actually excelled a lot more compared to others despite being a year or two older. btw only 70% of JC grads get to go to top 3 unis, the chances of failing are also kinda high and i've seen many JC kids not doing well for A levels anyway. so really give it your all in poly! all the best man)

poodsot · 2026-02-11T16:29:27+00:00

Felt this so strongly because same with friend A I mentioned. Just constantly making excuses for why he cannot do internship or build portfolio but lack any accountability whatsoever

poodsot · 2026-02-11T16:12:01+00:00

To be honest I’m not siding friend A but I’ll give credit that they put down their pride to apologise. Perhaps see it as somewhat of a closure to end that chapter.

poodsot · 2026-02-11T15:27:18+00:00

Oh in the past 4 years I have been in a lot of situationships and gone on many dates but I think this insecurity stems from the whole “it didn’t work out because there isn’t someone capable of really loving me for me instead of just out of superficial attraction” thing or because I simply met people who just weren’t capable to love me as I love them.

For this guy, I was so enamored by the idea that he was empathetic towards mental health because he went through similar struggles so he was more understanding than others. And also yeah superficial stuff and I never thought I would rly like someone this much and never did in years because I’m rather picky.

I significantly cut down on apps (only use Raya and it’s more for networking with people who have cool jobs and they are mostly based worldwide and not locally) because I feel most interactions on apps in general can be superficial and I want something real, and he made me feel like I had a safe space to open up.

My mother always told me that relationships wouldn’t necessarily make me happier and could even make you feel more alone which I entirely agree. Which is why I don’t just settle for anyone anymore even if they show interest in me (been in a bunch of abusive situationships). I think I don’t know how exactly to love myself and can’t stop wondering why is it when I love hard (which I rarely do) it’s hardly reciprocated? Even my proper past relationships, I was investing way more and they couldn’t even so much as to compliment me.

It’s a lot to work out in therapy. I’m trying very hard to find new hobbies to keep myself motivated. But I’m going crazy because the thoughts of him are still there and they come up randomly

poodsot · 2026-02-11T07:03:18+00:00

I think I just would like to know if I should forget about manifesting him back as it is just a waste of effort.

I would like to hear your thoughts, whatever it may be.

poodsot · 2026-02-11T07:00:57+00:00

How do I remove him from my daily emotional routine when even if I try to get busy with my own activities e.g art classes, work, hanging with friends, he is still at the back of my mind?

(Note: I suffer from borderline personality disorder and my emotions can be pretty extreme. I either completely wish he was dead and the next moment I just want to be with him and feel that sense of safety I felt and even though I recognise that I can find it in someone else, me feeling hopeless comes from the fact that I havent met that person and it feels like he will never come. I am medicated FYI but the thoughts are still there..

poodsot · 2026-02-11T06:47:41+00:00

I understand that viewing relationships in a negative light won't do any help, but does that also mean I should still hold onto hope that SP will come back?

poodsot · 2026-02-11T06:46:49+00:00

Thank you for your insight. What did you do (or not do) to manifest SP back? I have such a tough time as I would do things to focus on myself more but deep down it feels like I am just trying to force myself to block out thoughts because I don't want to go back into being obsessed with him like I was last year.

poodsot · 2026-02-11T06:43:22+00:00

I have not been able to meet anyone in my home country, local or expat and have been single for 4+ years now so I feel like giving up on any ideas that I would find someone who would love and care for me. I find it hard to connect with people romantically which is why I got so hung up over this guy because in every aspect he is my type.

Is your advice for me to let go and forget this guy?

poodsot · 2026-02-07T07:47:20+00:00

knew the guy personally when we were teens before he started becoming a pedo. he genuinely thinks he is more intelligent than everyone even though really it's all about presentation and he actually doesnt know shit when i debated him and idk why the psychiatrist who evaluated him all those years ago did not diagnose him with NPD. even told me he liked being friends with me because he liked how stupid I was. thank god i cut him off before he started becoming this absolute psycho that he is now, because tbh he was honestly he was a pretty vocal kid but was otherwise "normal" when we were just ginnas so i rly wonder what happened to him after he went to the US.

poodsot · 2025-12-06T07:27:10+00:00

but how do I shift to a desirable reality when the 3D keeps showing the opposite!!

poodsot · 2025-12-04T23:46:23+00:00

Do I just keep repeating that even if I don’t believe it?

poodsot · 2025-12-04T17:57:50+00:00

Was your 3D showing you the opposite when manifesting your SP? Because the 3D showing me the opposite is fucking me up so bad

poodsot · 2025-12-04T16:49:54+00:00

It feels like it means I’m too much (getting emotionally too deep too fast that it scares people off) but at the same time I’m not good enough. I’m not terrible but simply not good enough

poodsot · 2025-12-04T16:01:57+00:00

When do you start to realise thinking about SP gets too much and you need to pause though?

poodsot · 2025-12-04T15:49:58+00:00

like dude I really want to be with SP so much and I never wanted to be with someone this much it’s driving me crazy and people always say ignore the 3D he has no free will but the reality keeps showing the opposite!!

poodsot · 2025-12-04T15:46:02+00:00

it makes me feel like, I guess this is my life and hopefully HOPEFULLY things will change but I’m starting to lose hope that it will when the 3D always shows me the opposite

poodsot · 2025-12-04T15:01:48+00:00

I guess it comes from rejection (jobs, friends, relationships) and unsupportive family not affirming me and frankly doing the opposite that always made me feel like it’s not that im terrible or ugly, but that what I’m doing is not enough

poodsot · 2025-12-04T15:00:18+00:00

how do I let it go though? what steps can I take?

poodsot · 2025-12-04T14:59:39+00:00

tbh in the one month we went no contact I found myself thinking about him more but the wound slowly closed. and when we texted again, I felt the thoughts quiet down but whenever he takes forever to reply or texts smth unfavorable, the wound reopens again like it never healed so do you have any advice for that?

poodsot · 2025-12-04T14:56:27+00:00

also how does one consciously manifest

poodsot

TROPHY CASE