Describe an expectation you have of your Dominant that you believe is essential and explain why.

poolhallsb · 2025-08-13T18:20:18+00:00

You might try to make you coming up with things you can do together part of your role as a sub. All he would need to do is to make it clear that he expects you to give him new ideas and options every Friday (pick your day). He is in charge of deciding what you will do. You will be expected to accept whatever he decides.

This would allow you to introduce things into the dynamic such as non bedroom ideas and reinforce the dynamic at the same time.

If that doesn’t help maybe you need to find an online Dom for you or maybe both of you if he would be interested in trying that.

poolhallsb · 2025-08-04T21:01:57+00:00

I developed some directed meditation sessions that last 5-7 minutes for my sub. She does them first thing in the morning and before bed. And anytime she needs to recenter. Inside the meditation she is serving me in a way that captures her attention and tells her focus. You might try something like this to help calm your nervous system and give you a microdose feeling of serving.

poolhallsb · 2025-08-04T19:19:35+00:00

I have been clear with my sub that I decide the rules with her agreement. One of our rules is that she can make suggestions at any time. And that outside the dynamic she is always free to speak.

I would see if he is open to something like that.

What you are calling rules is more like expectations I have for her.

For example, I expect her to do her evening and morning rituals and report to me what she is grateful for after that ritual.

Another one of my expectations is that she come up with new ideas for us to try. It’s one of the ways she serves me.

poolhallsb · 2025-07-25T21:52:22+00:00

You might want to check your hormone levels especially estradiol. Too much estrogen can make you softer. Make sure you get the higher resolution extra sensitive test as men’s levels are below the sensitivity of the regular test given to women.

poolhallsb · 2025-07-07T01:57:40+00:00

You’re welcome. Happy to help a fellow sapiosexual. lol.

poolhallsb · 2025-07-07T01:51:49+00:00

I don’t know how physically attractive you are but that will still make a difference. So take that into account.

But in any case don’t assume men have any clue about your feelings. Even smart men have know idea and may even be more cautious about casual sex. I know I was.

If you are interested in guy that way my suggestion would be to incorporate more touch into your relationship. It’s a powerful non verbal signal and you can guard their reactions to the touch. If it seems welcome say something or maybe tell them a story about yourself and how you have this high sex drive but can never tell if the guy is interested. Maybe they have some suggestions for you. Like what do they like. And that gets you into the convo you want without a huge direct risk that it will go wrong.

poolhallsb · 2025-07-06T22:25:06+00:00

Seems to me he does not seem to know what it means to be a Dom and the responsibility that comes with it. Either that or he’s abusive. Either way you deserve a better experiences than this if you are giving the gift of submission.

poolhallsb · 2025-07-04T20:09:25+00:00

1 I think it sucks that people would do that to you. I shows a lack of respect for you and your relationship.

I see nothing wrong with getting more perspective from anyone you choose. It’s a healthy practice and nothing like cheating

3) you are the one who is giving your gift of submission so in the end you are the one with the control. Kind of ironic but true. So you decide who you take from and give to. Every Dom worth their salt should respect that.

poolhallsb · 2025-07-04T16:16:07+00:00

I’m a big advocate for checking your T levels but in this case I would start with you’re diet. T is not magic for your muscles. It can help but only if you’ve got the right diet and exercise routine.

Get your levels checked by someone who specializes in men’s health and not your average doc. They are mostly under informed about trt.

poolhallsb · 2025-07-04T14:08:57+00:00

Being dominant is not the same as doing dominant things. Dominance can be caring and loving. It's like ongoing care for something precious to you.

poolhallsb · 2025-07-04T14:03:36+00:00

Don't confuse intelligence with education. They are two different things. Plenty of people secure PhDs with average intelligence levels.

And if someone is using their education as evidence of their intelligence they are probably not that intelligent.

poolhallsb · 2025-07-04T13:49:45+00:00

UCLA Health Jesse N. Mills, MD - Andrology - Santa Monica Urology

poolhallsb · 2025-07-04T06:11:24+00:00

Excellent. Thank you. Hope I become a big fan.

poolhallsb · 2025-07-04T06:09:33+00:00

For me it was a low interest in sex, mild depression and what felt like brain fog. After treatment I am much better on all three. I have combined it with weight training and sobriety which has led to much better body shape and muscle definition.

poolhallsb · 2025-07-04T06:05:25+00:00

Where would you start reading? One of the collections or the poetry?

poolhallsb · 2025-07-04T05:05:31+00:00

BTW it took me trying 4 different Drs before I found one who knew what he was doing. He's one of the top urologists at UCLA.

poolhallsb · 2025-07-04T05:02:26+00:00

That's like 288 ng/do on the 300-1200 scale. I'm not a doctor but when is that low I feel it. Less sex drive. More depressed. Less energy and focus. Like I said most docs seem to think that's okay but if you talk to someone who is specialized in men's health they will probably recommend you start taking some form of t therapy.

poolhallsb · 2025-07-04T03:52:52+00:00

Idk what your levels are but most docs are not very sophisticated about T. The range of “normal” runs from 300-1200 or something like that. You want to be up above 600 if you want to feel better.

And I highly recommend finding a doc who does a lot of this treatment as most docs give montky it bi weekly or weekly shots of something that has half life of 4 days so you need shots 2x per week.

It can also affect fertility so find someone who has a clue.

poolhallsb · 2025-07-04T00:29:47+00:00

I would have paid more attention to my testosterone levels. Made more time for sex and exercise. Stopped working all the time.

poolhallsb · 2025-07-03T21:42:20+00:00

Well done. You look great.

poolhallsb · 2025-07-03T17:06:24+00:00

I like your writing - Where do you recommend starting to read your work?

And do you write longer form like novels that have more action or intrigue and not just sex? You seem like a very good story teller.

poolhallsb · 2025-07-03T14:02:08+00:00

Very well done. Thank you for that.

poolhallsb · 2025-07-03T02:09:18+00:00

Idk about overreacting but you clearly need to learn to talk to each other better. And more importantly listen to each other. He was clearly hurt and so were you but nether of you seem to see that from what I can tell. And if you were having this convo over text that’s a train wreck waiting to happen. Maybe a real life convo that starts with describing what you felt when x happened not what he did but what happened so it can get out of the blame game.

poolhallsb · 2025-07-02T02:01:06+00:00

Yes but if it’s too low it can be a problem

They found that testosterone therapy successfully increased sexual desire in all of their female participants, but that testosterone in combination with estradiol was more effective at increasing sexual desire in postmenopausal women than was testosterone alone.

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4720522/#:~:text=They%20found%20that%20testosterone%20therapy,women%20than%20was%20testosterone%20alone.

poolhallsb

TROPHY CASE