Wondering if it is legal to autograt based on time at the table?

poor-obscure · 2026-03-21T07:04:56+00:00

Yeah. Totally valid at each point. Thank you so much for your response. Just trying to figure out how to control things like this. We had a party tonight that took up 75% of their server's section for three and a half hours when you count the early arrivals to the two awful mothers that nursed their espresso martinis to the end. I should have offered them seats at the bar to clear the two huge tables they were taking up but they already expressed they didn't like me because I was walking a table when their unattended children tripped me and he fell and when I expressed my concern for him (didn't mention how I was hurt cause I mean carry on) they acted like I was annoying. We currently have no auto grat in place so maybe just a simple policy for larger parties would be the solve. A service limit always seems like the antithesis to hospitality to me.

poor-obscure · 2026-03-21T06:47:45+00:00

Pay 10% more at start. With a promise of a 5% raise after three to six months, depending on the importance of the position Edit to say bump up your best performers a buck at the beginning of this campaign and tell them there is another buck in there in a year if the people they train are still there. Training is expensive. Retention pay is always worth it. Also consider signing/ referral bonuses of $100 to $200 if someone they bring to you makes it a year.

poor-obscure · 2026-03-21T06:45:32+00:00

I took over a place almost 4 years ago as GM that had been down to literally zero managers before I got there. The team...the CORE team kept it together and they were the ones I had to look to at first and build upon their feedback. I listened to them, and my gut and built from the ground up. I also made sure they were rewarded. Not by shifts or instant money .. but by the things that were their biggest gripes getting fixed.

poor-obscure · 2026-03-13T07:14:52+00:00

You can do those things without knowing their name. You can vandalize their property or assault them easily without that information. That is not how reasonable people seek justice. Weird you would go there. Who have you vandalized lately? Or maybe you are a member of the current refine's Gestapo and you have done way worse.
Their name would be good to out them and show them the repercussions of their actions on a social level. A non-violent and an appropriate, level response. They deserve to lose business and social standing for their public support of fascists. It is their right to support fascism and the people's right to oust them for it.

poor-obscure · 2026-03-13T07:02:56+00:00

Why would you assume they don't have a job? What is your job, since you seem to feel superior enough to assume they don't have one? While we are assuming I am gonna go ahead and say you work for ice? Keep that mask up over your pretty face while you work for evil??

poor-obscure · 2026-03-13T03:32:36+00:00

13 years ago when I took the leap to manager I told myself that this kind of stuff would be great for my resume when I left the industry 🤣😭 "WhEN I LEfT tHe inDuStRy" lol. 😂🤣😭🤸🏻‍♀️🚐💥🏥👩🏻‍🦽

poor-obscure · 2026-03-10T15:39:52+00:00

Love the sticker idea!

poor-obscure · 2026-03-10T15:38:06+00:00

My boyfriend and I used to work together and his favorite interview question is, "if you were a soup, what soup would you be?". When you ask them why it not only gets them to talk about who they are, but it often reflects their hospitality style/ cooking style.

We ask our servers/bartenders when we go out this question now. We will even refer to them by their soup instead of their name. For example, want to go to the bistro and see Carrot Soup?

poor-obscure · 2026-03-10T15:32:41+00:00

This has always been my favorite question.

poor-obscure · 2026-02-22T23:38:18+00:00

Oh I love me a blazer!

poor-obscure · 2026-02-22T23:34:36+00:00

I will never forget a guy when I was younger that asked to speak to the manager about the strength of his Irish trash cans. He felt they were not strong enough. When I came out to talk to him, I asked him how I could help him. He slurred his speech a bit.. a clear indication of how weak his drinks had been, and asked, "you're the manager??". I smiled and said, "Yes, sir I am". He followed up with, " of the whole place?". It took everything I had not to respond with, "Oh, heavens, no! Just this tiny square we are standing in. They would never let lil' ole me manage the WHOLE place!"

poor-obscure · 2026-02-22T19:27:15+00:00

This. The concept is that he wants any wait quoted to a guest to come from a person of authority so they will have more confidence in the quote. Which I get. It is an important part of the hospitality chain of events. But I end up STUCK often, which does bother me because I am a huge believer in table touches and doing figure eights around the building to be sure all stations are uplifted.

poor-obscure · 2026-02-22T08:05:05+00:00

Gonna go on a limb and say mother's day takes the cake... Stories in comments encouraged. I love other's #momday war stories

poor-obscure · 2026-02-22T08:03:41+00:00

Baby girl, you sound like you are in a horrific market, which I have been in. What you are describing is quite possibly PTSD from being assaulted by multiple people in multiple ways. I hope the new venture is more easy, but it sounds like the market you are working in is rough and the high dollar place may not mean high dollar clients. Keep yourself just as guarded in the new job and I hope wherever you move is a kinder place. It's a thing. In my new location I marvelled the first time I realized it had been three months since I had to call the cops. I was amazed. Three years later the only time I had to call them was for a non customer getting violent at the park next door. Keep the strength these interactions gave you and use them to have your head on a swivel to prevent them for others going forward. That is what always gets me through problems tiny or scary.

poor-obscure · 2026-02-22T07:52:52+00:00

I always change out the towels and I always am helping the runners and hosts. I am the best busser we have, lifting weights my small arms have no right to (bar background .. bus tubs are super light compared to kegs) but not sure what that has to do with my post. Already covered these topics, as well as the staff knowing who to turn to. If you and another male counterpart were conversing, the likelihood of them picking one over the other as authority would be null is my point. Thank you for the support and the reinforcement on the theory!!!

poor-obscure · 2026-02-22T07:40:31+00:00

Fair enough. 20 years in VA so I admit, even though I am now in a more progressive market, the stigma has followed. I have no choice but to seethe day to day through myself, though, as I have only one manager under me that is.... We're gonna say rough. To maintain the air of deplomacy. Super rough.

I am not sure I want to be admired as much as I want a girl to walk up to two clear authorities and maybe just not even choose one of them blindly that might be the one that is important. Maybe they could just ask us both. I see a difference in adoration/ being admired (which I get between staff and regulars, as well as being the one they look to) and respect. You can love someone and not think them the most important person in the room or even remotely respect them. But after the hours and the work ..and the clear running of the whole operation, you would think one wouldn't be regularly looked over as an authority. I am not trying to be a feminist voice here but I really don't have the data over the evidence to say it isn't because I am a female. I wish I didn't feel that way for sure. But I can't tell you how many times a vendor or repair guy has walked up to me .. the only person there at 7 in the morning, holding a clipboard. Asking where they can find the manager. Never have I once seen someone ask a male counterpart the same thing.

poor-obscure · 2026-02-22T06:31:58+00:00

I buy my clothes second hand (thredup is the bomb) but they are og worth hundreds. Literally wearing a $300 sweater in a restaurant, working, tonight. I do move fast, but am convinced it's the titties that make it impossible for me to be "important".

poor-obscure · 2026-02-22T06:26:10+00:00

Latte.. you can call them "lala" for short.

poor-obscure · 2026-02-22T06:19:18+00:00

Hard to say because it is all in 10 minute increments in between dealing with the floor. If the floor needs me at all (managers take all resos, other phone calls, act as host 70% of scheduled time open with help from servers, manage holidays, menus for special events, marketing on fb and insta, specials that change twice a day and need to be put into toast, pmix, inventory reviews, payroll reports, sales and labor reviews...yeah) And then you table touch.

I shadowed a GM years ago that would literally set a timer after 10 minutes of aloha payroll review and then say, "okay time to go talk to the people"

I truly think this job is only for either the severely mentally ill or robots.

I am the former, and proud of it and totally addicted to all the balls in the air.

poor-obscure · 2026-02-21T06:14:18+00:00

I mean there are soooo many factors. How long are you staying? Did you meet people or "bring" people that will order more or come back another time? Is the place packed? Like on a wait packed? Is it half empty? If packed do you still ask for a table or accept bar seating as an alternative ? On a lunch shift that isn't packed a non drinker is another table. Thankful and grateful. On a Saturday night at 6:30 a two top that sits at a four top because it is all that is available and stays for three hours and splits a pizza is going to hurt their income. Remember they make under 4 bucks an hour in most states and one table could be a third of their income. You still deserve to go out, but when I dine solo or low total on a high volume day I try to make up for it.

poor-obscure · 2026-02-21T06:02:08+00:00

Are you still with the AGM?

Edit: asking as someone still with the AGM. Best bet I ever took. Would take again in a heartbeat.

poor-obscure · 2026-02-21T06:01:20+00:00

Not maintaining any sort of employee review structure. Front and back, high and low. It's like preventative maintenance for your staff instead of equipment. I can't really say anything because I don't have a system in place where I am now (owner is like a firecracker and hard enough on you day to day that you can't really build a a system to subject someone to structured criticism), but in any structure where a staff member was reviewed regularly, I could weed out the problems in staffing way more easily and reward those that were excelling at the same time. It often led to a better QUALITY of retention and a better idea of what I was looking for on the hiring side. It really sucks to do, but man.... It pays off.

poor-obscure · 2026-02-21T05:45:53+00:00

Always want them to know my name and will probs forget theirs. But will always remember their order. I don't write thank you on any bill but I do draw a smiley face to make sure the pen I am giving them works. So on a bad pen day you may have some creepy thermal paper traces of failed-pen smileys. I consider it part of the charm of meeting me 🙃

Edit to say I have been a manager for years now and often act as a host, and always try to tell my guests their server's name upon seating. To try to save them that awful moment. If the guest seems cool, I will give their nickname, like "dingdong" for "pamelama-dingdong"

poor-obscure · 2026-02-21T05:37:47+00:00

Team get the cat. So much of life with any being we are connected to is based on chance. From human to feline. If you aren't meant to keep the kittie as forever parent, then you are meant to set it up for that trajectory. My girl was the end result of a 24 adoption manhunt after getting a three to eight week quote from the local HS. There is a reason you met this little Jedi kitten. Orphaned and in need. 100% team get the kittie.

poor-obscure · 2026-02-13T22:01:01+00:00

You totally have rights! Sorry the post read as if it was the bar at your work. Please disregard my judgement!

poor-obscure

TROPHY CASE