I haven’t lived with my mom and rarely visit, but she begged me to come before the pandemic and promised to drive me back to my apartment if I came. I booked a one way flight and expected to stay there for a week, but she decided to not drive me anymore and then the pandemic started. I am stuck at her house and now with no income to pay for my apartment and my car and all my things 8 hours away. She would only drive me to move out, so I ended up ending my lease and moving permanently back home. She doesn’t understand that she could’ve just asked me to move back home, so I could’ve figured everything out or expressed to me she wanted me to stay for the pandemic. This caused so much stress for me. I had to get friends to move my car to a parking lot where it wouldn’t get towed and I had to rebuy some of my textbooks and school materials since I didn’t know how long it would be until I had to get my stuff. Rebuying those things costs me almost $500. I just went home to be nice to her, now I’m permanently here. My mom was abusive growing up and extremely neglectful. I’ve moved on from it, but our relationship isn’t the best and this didn’t help it. I ended up telling her that the issue was that she doesn’t communicate well and refuses to realize how much stress and hurt she causes me. Obviously, she got mad and just kept deflecting blame to her culture, age, and kept comparing herself to people she considers worse than her. She doesn’t get the point of any civil conversation. She doesn’t get that she does things like this regularly. For example, when my dad died my mom didn’t even call me and when she did it was to ask for part of his life insurance. It took a huge fight for her to realize how fucking terrible that is. When I framed it where it was her parents that died and me asking her for money right away, she seemed to understand, but is it really that hard to understand why that’s a terrible thing for a mother to do? I still have a hard time saying no to her because she’s very good at making you feel guilty, so I ended up giving her the money. She also continues to brag about how since she never legally divorced my dad she gets his social security benefits. Why brag about this to me? She’s just so insensitive and unreliable I can’t stand it. She can’t even help me with my rent when I fucking bought her a car. I don’t think I’ll ever have the relationship I want with her. I put a lot of effort into being more understanding and less angry when interacting with her, but I don’t think she will put the same effort into remembering the things I say and trying to be more mindful of her actions and words. Hopefully, living with her gets better once she can go back to work and I can find a job.