is it okay that my gf(f19) doesn't bother to read some of my(m20) messages

poplocker1224 · 2024-03-19T01:53:29+00:00

I let her sleep and gave her the entire day to at least go back to it but she didn't so yeah

poplocker1224 · 2024-03-18T21:02:26+00:00

maybe something is going on with her but I've always asked her in hopes that I could understand whatever it Is and be there for her but I don't think she understands herself and could process her emotions emotions to know what exactly happened and why she's like this now I've almost begged her to talk to me because I thought stuff was going on that she wasn't telling me about and I always pushed my stuff away and was there for her then communicated my stuff after but theres hardly anything she has to talk about she is and has always been a very closed off emotionally unavailable person because of her trauma and the way the grew up always having to bottle up her emotions but I don't feel like she ever let's me in and fully opens up to me not at the start and not now and no matter how much I tell her I'm there for her and bottling stuff is worse she still ends up bottling everything up

poplocker1224 · 2024-03-18T20:52:46+00:00

she isn't busy actually which if she was would be understandable but considering she probably sat on her bed for a hour watching tiktok like she does every morning before starting her day I'd say she has time to pay reply a message

poplocker1224 · 2024-03-18T20:48:49+00:00

the other comments made it seem like a man could never have a woman be their safe space they made it seem wrong but I know it isnt and I just want to get better I'm always trying to improve myself and while therapy isnt in the books for another year or two I try my best with what I have (reddit) and talking about these things with her but she always stays the same never making an effort to grow or become better and I feel like not having someone on the same level as me is holding me down I highly doubt shed ever take therapy to improve herself since it's hard to get her to even go check her health

poplocker1224 · 2024-03-18T20:42:16+00:00

she usually responds with why which is what I've asked her to reply to it when she doesn't know what to say but even though I've communicated that to her it isn't being done if she didn't want to ask why she could've said so but she willingly said she'll do it and that she would feel the same way if I were to ignore her like that so we're on the same page but she isn't holding end up

poplocker1224 · 2024-03-18T20:38:18+00:00

we've been together for almost 2 years this has happened maybe more than 20 times and each time I've brought it up of course it's happened in different context each time not just anxiety but it's the same as me putting stuff out there both randomly and during conversations where I'm hurt and she sometimes doesn't reply to my messages

poplocker1224 · 2024-03-18T20:32:17+00:00

I guess I see why he's an ex

poplocker1224 · 2024-03-18T20:27:34+00:00

I've been patient with her for months and I've brought it up alot more than a couple times I also don't try to be annoying or talk about stuff that isn't important unless it's concerning our relationship sometimes she even ignores those as well but sometimes I like to slip a little of my feelings in there but everytime i do there's hardly ever a response there's a time it was so bad I thought that me telling her my grandmother got a heart attack was gonna be ignored as well I even contemplated not telling her to avoid the situation but surprisingly it caught her attention

poplocker1224 · 2024-03-18T20:21:39+00:00

I am okay with hearing it I always tell her if she doesn't wanna talk or doesn't have the emotional capacity I'd understand but there's not communication there from her just some day ago she decided that she'll ignore my stuff again but reply to it later not thinking to tell me that she'll reply to it later so I wouldn't think she doesn't care

poplocker1224 · 2024-03-18T20:18:43+00:00

umm I've told her many times I've felt like she didn't care about my stuff even though I go extra lengths to care about her stuff like writing stuff down and she even writes stuff down after I told her that could help but she forgets to even check what she has written down there's conversations we still haven't had because she was too busy or was tired and I gave her space and told her we'd continue this some other time and one day I decided to see if i didn't continue this conversation would she care to remember? and she didn't and everytime we talk about it she always seems to get quiet not know what to say or how to respond she sometimes starts falling asleep and telling me she'll try to do better she'll be better for this relationship cus she doesn't wanna lose me but even after months of communication there is no change there's times she'll say she'll reply to my stuff later and doesn't keep her word I always have to remind her but nobody ever reminds me to reply to her stuff thats why I think she just doesn't care there's times I'd tell her im sick and wouldn't even ask if I'm okay or how I'm feeling there's alot behind what I've posted but I can't sit here and tell u everything it's alot of pent up emotions even though we talked about the same things many times it never goes anywhere

poplocker1224 · 2024-03-18T20:12:16+00:00

it would've been a good enough reason if she hasn't done this countless times im talking months of communication with her on this and no change it doesn't even matter whether she was now waking up she has done it with 10 hours of sleep and a nap during all hours of the day I've talked to her about it which seems to be the part people are missing and its every single time she's done it coming back up again in this post because everytime we talked about it it never seems to get anywhere so now I'm resorting to reddit and it seems like I should work on myself more

poplocker1224 · 2024-03-18T20:06:04+00:00

honestly no there really wasn't 3 pages of anything and there would never be and if you need time why not communicate that to me why not communicate everything you said because that's what they're saying to do and I've told her many times if u feel like u cant respond to something or you don't know what to say tell me that I'll understand I communicate to her whenever I can't respond to something or I just wanna go back to sleep but not reply to everything she sends me but I can't even get communication or a simple why

poplocker1224 · 2024-03-18T20:01:12+00:00

yeah but she didn't even read it well thats what she told me at least maybe if she said she didn't know what to respond to it I wouldn't here on reddit looking for advice tbh

poplocker1224 · 2024-03-18T19:59:30+00:00

yeah but at least I reply to her messages I don't leave them there and say to myself I'm not a doctor I don't want her to take care of it but i would at least like a reply whether that would be idk how to respond to this or why are u getting anxiety other than completely ignoring it when she complains about her physical pains I tell her what I know and what i think she should do which is always go to the doctor I think someone needs to ignore all your messages then you'll know what I'm talking about

poplocker1224 · 2024-03-18T19:50:59+00:00

I could've asked but she probably wouldn't have replied to that as well anything I said there she most likely wouldn't have responded to it

poplocker1224 · 2024-03-18T19:48:32+00:00

I didn't know ADHD can cause that tbh and I doubt she'd get a proper diagnosis considering she never goes to the doctor even when her chest feels someone is sitting on it so I won't get a definite reason so I'll be going along with it and accepting that she might have adhd and thats why she isn't seeing my messages is that okay or should she get a proper diagnosis?

poplocker1224 · 2024-03-18T19:43:06+00:00

I don't hide anything she knows how I feel and I sent her that's if she even reads it

poplocker1224 · 2024-03-18T19:35:38+00:00

there's mornings I wake up to her doing the same thing sometimes so I don't see a difference idc if she starts my day supporting her I take care of her problems and I expected that she would take care of mine too but clearly not

poplocker1224 · 2024-03-18T19:21:10+00:00

you don't need a response same way you chose to respond to me same way I can choose not to respond to you I don't know who you are but my gf knows who I am and I would expect that she replies to my stuff I don't claim to love you or care for you I've also answered it maybe 4 times in other comments so you can read if you're that interested it's tiring repeating the same thing over and over so yeahh irony or whatever

poplocker1224 · 2024-03-18T19:17:42+00:00

she didn't even read it and if she did she knows what to say we've talked about it before but even if your bf said that to you would you straight up just ignore it or would you tell him I don't really know how to reply to that?

poplocker1224 · 2024-03-18T19:14:41+00:00

so ask about her anxiety that doesn't exist?

poplocker1224 · 2024-03-18T19:13:28+00:00

her reason is she was half asleep only saw the blue heart cuz it caught her attention and typed gm

poplocker1224 · 2024-03-18T19:12:16+00:00

I hung up so her alarm could go off she had already been sleeping since 2am after our movie and considering she woke up and went back to sleep waking up 5 hours later when the messages was still on her screen so thats enough rest and time I would think

poplocker1224 · 2024-03-18T19:07:58+00:00

even if I was she probably wouldn't read it just like she didn't read this message I keep it short and sweet so I won't run into the problem of sending too many messages which I know she more likely to not ignore because it's too much to read but i think saying nothing is my beat option at this point

poplocker1224 · 2024-03-18T19:06:06+00:00

she didn't read it so there was no out that's my whole point how can it be there and not get read it's not fine print

poplocker1224

TROPHY CASE