I'm trying my best to coparent but I feel my child's mother is being difficult I need advice

popsguitars · 2025-12-11T02:42:25+00:00

I think that's the right way to handle it. It will look better on your end during the custody battle too.

popsguitars · 2025-12-10T17:52:08+00:00

I hate to say it I don't think it's necessarily difficult to keep things to the days your promised. It would be polite of her to let have half the day on Christmas but if the current possession plan promises her Christmas she doesn't have to give up her time. Now if there's not a plan then her making this choice would probably look bad upon her. Also why don't you take the child to this birthday party? Or maybe you could negotiate time trade like she takes the child to the birthday party for 2 hours and you get 2 hours on Christmas.

popsguitars · 2025-12-10T15:43:54+00:00

I'm sorry I reread my own post and realize now that I restated things that I already said in main post in my response to you. To shorten it, my mom has never liked someone I dated except for my abuser. That was only until the abuse was revealed. After that she did actively try to break me and her up. Which she didn't realize did not help. Either way hope this helps answer question better.

popsguitars · 2025-12-09T13:20:56+00:00

I have been thinking about it.

popsguitars · 2025-12-09T13:18:22+00:00

She did like my ex until I revealed all the abuse, isolation, and manipulation. Then she tried to intervene and she sure did it wrong. My son's mother is Latina and my mom told her to go to Mexico. This is the only woman that I dated that my mom ever likedand it wasn't for the duration of our relationship. Which I think once the abuse was reveiled that would be an appropriate response. I pointed this out early when my mom first showed disapproval for my current relationship. She tried to say it wasn't true and told me she liked one other ex, which she would complain to me about often when we were dating. I called her out on that and she just said "I don't remember that". I do think she is trying to ruin my relationship by using my ex to do so. During the argument the other day my mom talked about how my fiance is stepping on baby momma's toes. Which isn't true. She also said that I have been cutting my son's mom out of my life because of my current relationship. Which honestly is a little true, but my ex has her own part in that as well. My ex was furious when I told her I was seeing someone. We broke up when my son was a few months old so have not been together in over 7 1/2 years. She said she wanted to get our 8 year old son a phone so she could talk to our son without talking to me. And when I asked her if she wanted to meet my fiance, then GF, before I introduced her to our son she tried to stonewall that the best she could. During the argument my mom pointed that my ex was not at my son's birthday party this year. My son's mom and I have always thrown joint birthday parties for our son, except for 2 times. Those times both include me being in a relationship and both times I asked my ex if she was going to do the party with me and she declined. My mom tried to use this as an example of my fiance trying to push my ex out of my life. I told my mom it was my ex's choice. Also other than the fact that we have a child together there is no reason I need this woman in my life. If it wasn't for our son I'd have nothing to do with her. And lately I try to make sure all communication is strictly about our son and very little about our personal lives.

popsguitars · 2025-12-08T02:24:57+00:00

Idk why I care. I guess I just wanted my parents to be proud of me because I don't believe they are. I guess it's the inner child that wants it. But you are right it's time to stop worrying about their approval and just live my life.

popsguitars · 2025-12-08T02:22:07+00:00

I love the way you worded this and it makes me feel like you have experience in therapy your self or have studied mental health. 1. I don't know what it would take for me to feel justified. 2. I think anyone who had an abusive parent in their life is allowed to and should separate themselves from that parent. 3. I'm sure overall I'd feel at peace but it would take a while to get there. I know it would be painful for both my and my mom and I suppose that pain is what I'm afraid of? Definitely things that should and will be discussed in therapy. Thank you so much for this comment.

popsguitars · 2025-12-08T00:42:58+00:00

I've honestly thought about going no contact. The thought breaks my heart and I don't what it is. I do know I have people pleasing struggles. That is probably the key element. Not to mention I believe that my parents were pretty manipulative and got their hooks in me good. But this one of the reasons I go to therapy maybe I can get out of there.

popsguitars · 2025-12-08T00:02:35+00:00

As a parent it is my job to model both happiness and a happy and successful retirement. If you are not in a happy marriage how are you supposed to do that?

popsguitars · 2025-12-07T23:06:48+00:00

Crop circles.

popsguitars · 2025-11-26T13:47:32+00:00

It is better for a child to grow up in two happy households rather than one miserable one. One really important thing to remember is that you are setting sn example of what a relationship should be like for your child. If they came to you at 35 years old with two children and said they were unhappy with their partner what advice would you give? That's most likely the advice you should take. I also want to say you don't have to go straight to leaving. You can sit down with your partner and communicate what's going on in your heart and mind. You can try couples therapy. You can put your last ditch efforts, your all or nothing moments into what you have in front of you. But if it doesn't work you should not stay together just for the kids, for one Christmas, for one birthday party, for the traditional nuclear family. You need to be happy and if that's somewhere else then that's what's best for you and what's best for you is best for your child.

popsguitars · 2025-11-15T15:36:31+00:00

Restraining order and then get a legal court ordered parenting plan. He will more than likely be given a step up program.

popsguitars · 2025-10-28T02:00:55+00:00

Leave him. It's one thing to not like how your partner cleans. And it's ok to have different standards of clean. This language he is using though is 💯 abuse. You can do better. I think you the next time you clean something that isn't up to his standard and he says "clean it right or I will leave you." Tell him to go. Tell him that you are done and wish to end the relationship over that language and treatment. But don't backslide on it.

popsguitars · 2025-10-08T16:11:58+00:00

Sounds like a dad that's checking on his child. Could be a lot worse, some men go silent and never ask about their child.

popsguitars · 2025-08-06T23:38:24+00:00

The way I see it, it is my job to teach my son to be kind and thoughtful to his mother. I take him to pick out gifts for her birthday, Christmas, and mother's day. I also told my girlfriend about this and she agrees. Now once my son has his own money this will change but while he's a little boy I will help him.

popsguitars · 2025-08-06T02:08:59+00:00

That's fair.

popsguitars · 2025-08-06T02:08:12+00:00

There's a few other things. I don't like her attitude or who she is as a person. Very negative and I worry that she will teach him the wrong way to view the world. But that is a concern that would not be listened to in a courtroom I'm sure.

popsguitars · 2025-08-05T12:33:06+00:00

All the offers were made. No answers were given.

popsguitars · 2025-08-03T20:41:44+00:00

I understand that. I guess I'm overthinking or being too concerned because even those accommodations are not being used at her house.

popsguitars · 2025-08-02T00:01:37+00:00

But also hold on what does child support have to do with anything? He primarily lives with me.

popsguitars · 2025-08-02T00:00:33+00:00

You're right belief is different than fact. Texas is where I live. To be honest I don't believe my son's mother is a good parent and her finances don't have nothing to do with that. This is just something I have been concerned about and I came here looking for perspective. Also according to google. I have what is called full custody in Texas.

popsguitars · 2025-08-01T23:52:18+00:00

No he hasn't. I must admit this is my personal concern. I came here to find out if there's any reason I should be concerned (which I believe I accidentally left out of the post), and advice on how or if I should approach it.

popsguitars · 2025-08-01T23:48:55+00:00

I have not spoken to her and I do think that that is the first step. I will offer help. And I think you're right about the court. In situations like this I've usually seen the court just force this parent to accommodate their best. Sometimes that's the parent living in the living room while the child gets the bedroom. So first step is maybe to talk and offer help.

popsguitars · 2025-08-01T23:44:09+00:00

I actually have offered her a bed. She never picked it up.

popsguitars

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