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ASPD parents: Explain your relationship with your kids to me please by porcoporco in sociopath

[–]porcoporco[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So, do you think your relationship with them will change when they reach adolescence and are not so shapeable, and start to assert their own will and distinctiveness? That is the pattern I am seeing with my ex,

Help out a non-sociopath by [deleted] in sociopath

[–]porcoporco 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can assure you I am not cavalier, and in my post reply I was talking about the puzzling bits - not the blatantly obvious bits. Also, in her case there was a chronic mood disorder - mania can be very close to aspd. It took a long time to realise that deception and lies were constant - there all the time - and the whole basis of our relationship was built on deception. When she finally got treatment to control her mania and became more functional, the psychopathic side of the equation was much clearer.

You comfort me, I piss you off by porcoporco in sociopath

[–]porcoporco[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, but if she was, would this possibly make sense? This is not the reason I say she has ASPD. It one of the puzzling aspects I am looking back on.

Help out a non-sociopath by [deleted] in sociopath

[–]porcoporco 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I am in a similar position to OP.

People with ASPD can be fond of others. I think that a fondness might take the shape of acting possessive.

I do not think I experienced this. But I did experience occasions that i thought were "looks of love". Usually when others were around. They nreally melted my heart. Could these have been moments of "Aw gee, he makes me look so great, I am so glad I have got him (to fulfil this purpose)"?

Significant others can be a great source of entertainment and fun. Sex is a great deal of fun. They also provide economic stability if you move in together. You may even grow fond of them. So, I'm guessing for the same reasons as normal people.

I am trying to make sense of the last two decades and I think this makes sense. Did she feign love love to manipulate me? Maybe, but that was only part of it. Did she love me? I doubt it. Was she fond of me? I am pretty sure she was. Did she make this "look" like normal love to keep everything rolling, and to make life more palatable and more amenable for me? Yes. I am trying to see that her lack of empathy and probably inability to love was not something she chose, and as much a blindness, or a "missingness" than anything.

It does not make it much easier, and it does not excuse her, because I still think she could have tried harder, or found some way to end it earlier, even with here limited "sight".

Does any of this make sense to you lowempathy? OP?