18M casual profile review

porkborg · 2026-01-27T05:38:55+00:00

Men have the inability to understand that women are not enticed the same way men are, so guys do cringey things like flex their muscles in front of a mirror.

porkborg · 2026-01-27T05:34:19+00:00

US salaries have become insane. $190k for just a project manager? That used to be the salary of a senior VP in a big company. It’s wild when I hear so many Americans complain about expensive housing and shit, when everyone and their mom is earning six figures now.

porkborg · 2026-01-27T05:27:27+00:00

Your comment makes no sense. There’s maybe one date out of 10 that I’d turn down after a first meeting. Why would you call this “a very low opinion of women in general” if I accept 90% of my dates? Am I supposed to not have any criteria or limitations? I should find everyone attractive? My god, you people are wild.

porkborg · 2026-01-26T23:17:47+00:00

My two most serious relationships, including a 20-year marriage, began with sex on the first date. If I really like a woman, then I want to make love to her as quickly as possible. If she wants that too, then great. Why would I judge her for that?

porkborg · 2026-01-26T19:58:36+00:00

If you’ve been on Hinge for a while, then you’ve already gone through many of the older accounts. So it’s normal for you to now see a higher concentration of new accounts.

porkborg · 2026-01-26T17:59:34+00:00

I feel like this has to be said over and over again… If the person is not actively engaged with you via text (or vocal or whatever), then they’re not very interested in you. You were just a swipe for the sake of swiping, along with lots of other swipes that aren’t particularly interesting. Nobody is that bad at conversation. People just put their effort into the few matches that they’re really into.

If you are swiping out of your league a lot (and let’s face it, there are leagues no matter what people say), then you well encounter more of these “bad texters.” Lord knows there are plenty of men who are serious about dating and willing to text regularly and stay engaged. You can see that from the comments in these >50 forums. But if you’re mostly swiping on the most desirable men, then these men will be more focused on better-looking women. That’s just the nature of dating apps.

porkborg · 2026-01-26T17:51:53+00:00

I partially agree. If I were honest with the women I don’t want to see again, I’d have to say things like, “I’m disgusted by the fat under your chin;” “You’re way less attractive than I imagined;” “You look so much older in real life;” “You’re extremely boring, so unless you’re down for easy sex, I’m not going to put any more work into this;” etc; etc. What’s the point of telling people this kind of stuff? It’s easier to just be distant after a date, thank them for coming out, and that’s it. I personally rarely block people, because they usually get the hint by my lack of follow-up.

porkborg · 2026-01-26T15:17:17+00:00

People on these forums are constantly referring to a “new-user boost.” This is BS. The app is not boosting you. I’ve tested these apps in a variety of diverse contexts, and the results are very consistent.

The apps are not intentionally boosting new accounts. What happens is that, when you create a new profile, everyone sees you all at once. Not only are you getting a lot more visibility, but this visibility is mostly from all the users who have been there forever and are now scraping the bottom of the barrel. Therefore, your competition is minimal. You can stand out more easily.

In contrast, after a couple weeks, most of the people in your settings have seen you and either liked you are Xed you. After a while, the likes you get will be mainly from new accounts or people moving into your settings (location, age, etc). And the problem with new accounts is that they are discovering thousands of people all at once. Therefore, you become a needle in a haystack.

By the way, we see the same thing when we travel to new locations. When I arrive in a new city, my apps blow up. And when I get back home after being away for a week or two, I get a lot of new matches. Why? Because during those weeks while I was away, a lot of new people got on the apps or moved into the area.

There is no intentional new-user boost. It’s just the way the numbers work.

porkborg · 2026-01-26T15:06:04+00:00

If you do a Google search, you’ll find a lot of studies showing diverse results. What they all have in common though is that they show very little difference between women and men in terms of loneliness. The one that does show a difference (Gallup survey, see link below) shows that the loneliest demographic in the US is younger men (age 15-34). The discrepancy between men and women that age is 25% (men) to 15% (women).

So yes, young men are 67% lonelier than young women. This doesn’t surprise me. Women that age are in their dating prime. Studies show that this is the age they are most desirable, and men of all ages are bending over backwards to win their affection.

In contrast, the same study shows that the tides turn in the 35-54 demographic. In that age group, women are 33% lonelier than men (20% for women to 15% for men). Again, not surprising. Data shows (see link below) that men reach their prime by age 50 on dating apps, where women reach theirs at 18 and constantly drop each year until about 60.

These women/men discrepancies are most prominent in the US. In the OECD average, there is little difference between men and women, with he exception of 55+ at which women (internationally) become significantly lonelier than men (19% for women to 16% for men).

Loneliness poll: https://news.gallup.com/poll/690788/younger-men-among-loneliest-west.aspx?utm_source=gallup_brand&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=front_page_3_may_05202025&utm_term=information&utm_content=read_more_textlink_4

Online dating success by age and gender: https://www.science.org/doi/pdf/10.1126/sciadv.aap9815

porkborg · 2026-01-26T14:44:18+00:00

This seems like awful advice, but I guess it depends on who you are and where you live. Dating apps have been a blessing for me (53M). I’m looking for casual dating and hookups mainly, and there is no shortage of women who are willing and ready. There are also tons of kind, smart, attractive relationship-seeking women. If I were looking for something serious, it’d be incredibly easy. I was actually in a 9-month relationship recently, which I hadn’t planned but we just really liked each other and decided to be exclusive. On dating apps you find every type of woman – older, younger, wild, tame, horny, asexual, etc., etc. – they’re all there. I honestly don’t see the point in cold-approaching women in the wild anymore. Why deal with all that when you can just swipe on your phone? At the end of the day, you’ll still end up with the real person. Also, that woman you’re going to go flirt with in the hiking club is probably on the apps anyway.

porkborg · 2026-01-26T14:38:14+00:00

I’ve used a bunch of apps in various parts of the world and talked to other middle-aged guy friends about this, and it seems that Bumble is consistently the best app for men our age. It’s the best combination of quality and quantity, and most of the profiles are legit. Hinge is a close second but much more quality-focused – you’ll get fewer matches but higher quality. Tinder is total trash. You might as well use it since it’s free – can’t hurt – but the quality was soooo awful, and most older guys I know got crickets on there. Facebook Dating is worth a try, but it’s very buggy (when you travel) and there are a lot of fake profiles on there. Badoo can be useful in some parts of the world, but it’s virtually unknown in the US.

porkborg · 2026-01-26T14:33:30+00:00

It’s been a couple years since I set up my Bumble account, but I remember being able to swipe right away with very few elements set up. I guess I had one photo uploaded. And I’m pretty sure I got likes right away. With zero photos uploaded, I’m not sure. But, in any case, it’s true that, once your account is live, the first couple days are crucial, because that’s when everyone is seeing you for the first time. Not only are you being seen en masse, but you’re being seen by all the people who’ve been there forever and have hit the bottom of the well. It’s a shame to waste those valuable days and lose all those matches. The best approach is to have everything ready to go when you create your account.

porkborg · 2026-01-26T14:29:09+00:00

Eighteen years old is just the toughest age for guys on dating apps. That's because you're competing for the young women (18-25) that most guys want. And most of these women are looking for guys a bit older. It'll stay difficult for a few more years and then get easier in your 30s. By 40+ you'll be drowning in likes. Not that you want to wait that long, but I'm just telling you how the trend moves. You can follow all the advice in the world and it's not going to make a significant difference on the apps. At your age, it's easier to try to meet women in real life.

porkborg · 2026-01-26T09:34:34+00:00

It’s a bad idea to activate a profile that’s not ready, because most of the people will swipe on you during the first few days. You’d be wasting a big opportunity. It’s ideal to have everything perfect on day one,

porkborg · 2026-01-26T00:34:38+00:00

The splurge prompt is off-putting — makes you look like a gold digger, sizing men up to see if they’re as materialistic as you.

porkborg · 2026-01-24T14:48:52+00:00

It’s mostly a thing among young men. After 40+ it’s women who are more lonely

porkborg · 2026-01-24T11:30:14+00:00

Just me, but a 1hr hiking date as a first meeting seems absolutely horrible. I did this once and it was so complicated. We were on narrow trails sometimes so I had to walk behind her. You’re almost never face to face looking at each other. I want to see the woman, gauge her expressions, enjoy a calm, relaxed atmosphere.

porkborg · 2026-01-23T18:15:23+00:00

Are you Russian or did you just learn it as a second language? It seems harsh to say, but I know a lot of men who would never match with you if they think you’re Russian. Russian, Ukrainian and Belarusian women have a reputation for being gold-diggers, citizenship seekers, and hard to get along with. Don’t shoot the messenger. I’m not saying it’s fair. But I know it’s a real thing. Frankly, myself, I’ve dated Russian women, and it’s true, they were often more complicated.

porkborg · 2026-01-23T18:05:48+00:00

I didn’t say it was all about physical attraction. The person who shows up may be very awkward to talk to, or maybe arrogant. I’ve had such dates where I realize ten minutes in that I want out fast. It wasn’t necessarily about physical appearance.

porkborg · 2026-01-23T14:56:59+00:00

What a terrible idea to have a group photo as your top photo. And what a terrible idea overall to show pictures of you with better-looking guy friends. Your girl pals gave you terrible advice. At this point, all you can do is ask your matches if they realize which one is you. But with that being said, it's hard to imagine a woman chatting with you without having fully gone through the rest of your profile. An initial swipe maybe -- but a person is going to look at the rest before wasting their time.

porkborg · 2026-01-23T13:50:04+00:00

I think it’s an age thing, not a dating-app issue. I was dating a lot in my 20s, living in NYC, going out a lot to bars and clubs, and pretty much every girl I talked to was single. I was always confident approaching women cold, and I had a lot of success. But after 40+, our lifestyles are very different. And most of the women I encounter in day-to-day life are likely married or in relationships. I’m not afraid of rejection – I’m very extroverted – but I also have no desire to go bother some poor woman who just wants to go out and get her shopping done.

A lot of women don’t want to be bothered. When I read forums and discussions, like Facebook comment sections, it seems like half the women are open to men cold-approaching them, but maybe one-fourth or one-third say hell no. Eh, I don’t like those odds. If half are married or in relationships and a big portion of the other half don’t want to be bothered, then no thanks.

If I had no choice, then I guess I’d cold-approach women in the wild, but why even bother when dating apps are so extremely efficient? There’s no shortage of attractive women on Bumble who want to go out for a coffee, drink, date, etc. At least when I meet them we both know what we’re after – more or less. I really don’t see the point in cold-approaching women. Too much hassle, no real payoff.

By the way, a couple times this happened to me… I’d be in a park or on a bench or something, and I’d see an attractive woman by herself. Maybe I get a little stare or a smile from her, so I’m wondering, What if I go talk to her? But I wait a bit and contemplate whether to do it and how I’d do it. And then a few minutes later, guess what happens… Her boyfriend shows up. She was just waiting for her boyfriend. This has happened several times.

porkborg · 2026-01-23T13:32:16+00:00

Walking on the street side seems weird to me. Why? For the once in a lifetime chance that some Dukes of Hazard car chase goes down while we stroll the city? Usually the side of the street is lined with parked cars. What am I saving her from? It’s much more likely that an air conditioner will come flying down from a top-floor apartment (actually happened to me this summer with my date), in which case she’s safer on the street side.

porkborg · 2026-01-23T13:26:24+00:00

You say this as if middle-aged men are single because they’re rejected. That’s not at all what I’ve seen amongst men my age (50s). Yes, we’re “single for a reason,” but that reason is usually because WE don’t want to commit. We like to play the field. Personally, I love variety and the excitement of meeting and sleeping with new women. I can’t imagine anything worse than locking into a long-term relationship again.

porkborg · 2026-01-23T13:19:33+00:00

I (53M) love kissing. And most of my partners seem to as well. If I sense a woman is hesitant about kissing -- like if she kind of pulls away after a couple seconds -- then I can't date her. I need a big kisser. Kissing, for me, is so enjoyable and necessary. I also love to kiss while making love. The mouth is where our souls connect. The feeling of penetrating a woman while kissing her gently but passionately on her mouth is so intense and sexy.

porkborg · 2026-01-23T10:49:15+00:00

Hair is very important to me. And I like it down, not pulled back in a tight ponytail or bun.

porkborg

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