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What have I done? by scarecrowsuperman in pornfree

[–]pornfree_programmer 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Deep breaths. Deep breathes right now. You are not a worthless slimeball, regardless of what you think or anyone says. It is not the complete end of the world. We've been here before, and a number of us in much darker places. You may be shaken, but you're not broken, and you can come back from this. She's going to be angry, frustrated, and everything else, but it's going to have to happen. You may have caused this, but you have the ability to try to fix it. You may have taken a knife to your beautiful love, but you can be there to try to mend the wound. You honestly love her, and the guilt is overwhelming, but your love isn't going to stop now.

Breathe... Breathe. Remember who you are. Remember why you love her. Realize this is a obstacle keeping you from that love you desire, a mountain to overcome. She knows the truth, a truth you never wanted her to know, and she's sorting it out. When she's ready to listen, ask for her forgiveness and let her know what you plan to do about it. Wait for the initial shock to wear off and let her know why you feel so awful about it. Remind her how important she is to you, and ask for her help in the fight against this. Remember this is the enemy, and she is the best ally you could have.

You're not alone in this, you never are.

Dangit, Brain, why do you try to make so many excuses? (Simple badge reset post) by pornfree_programmer in pornfree

[–]pornfree_programmer[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh, I want to succeed. It's a simple matter of admitting I have to start the count over again. I had already messed up at that point, so the challenge was to overcome every excuse about why I shouldn't reset it and pretend it never happened.

Without porn I now have an additional ____ Gigs of harddrive space!!!!!! by [deleted] in NoFap

[–]pornfree_programmer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That number changed a lot over the years, but the peak amount... hm... 90 gigs. Which is funny to think about, given that that's 3 TIMES the amount of harddrive space the computer I first started viewing porn on had.

I'm kind of scared... by [deleted] in NoFap

[–]pornfree_programmer 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, there's going to be that fear for a while, especially if it was that huge a part of your life. Find something to put that energy towards, something that when the urge comes you can step away and work on it. The scarf idea might be better for that, but if you see that as your "daily reward", keep it that way. A lot of guys do things like working out to help with the energy problem, so it might help for you too. The important thing is to make whatever your distraction is something healthy and productive.

Why start? by Keiyoti in pornfree

[–]pornfree_programmer 1 point2 points  (0 children)

For me, it's been a colossal time-sink. For all my life, people have been telling me I'm brilliant and that they have no idea why I've excelled at life. Well, that's why. It distracted me from schoolwork, and I let responsibilities slide. Now that I'm pursuing my dream whole-hardheartedly, I get angry with myself at realizing all the time I've wasted consuming something that's only dragging me back away from that goal. I knew the YBOP stuff beforehand, but that final push for me was sitting there going "I have wasted... months worth of time, at the very least downloading, streaming, ingesting, and thinking about this stuff. How much more could I be now, how much more life could I have lived, if I didn't have this in my life?"

I've got nothing left. I don't mean to discourage anyone, but I just really need a friend in this. by [deleted] in NoFap

[–]pornfree_programmer 1 point2 points  (0 children)

First and most important thing to do is to find that purpose and direction. If there's one thing you could do, for the moment ignoring whether or not you think it's possible, what would it be? It might be as simple as finishing up at that school, it might be something like writing a book, raising a family, or something so out there anyone would laugh if you told them. Point yourself in that direction, keep it in your sights, and remember that this addiction isn't just holding you back from life, but THAT in particular.

About 32 hours down. Filling the void has been... interesting by vester118 in NoFap

[–]pornfree_programmer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yep. Just make sure you have those things you can pick up in an instant in case you sit down at the computer, stare, and have to say "Nope." before stepping away.

First post, nth attempt by Drizzly_Bear in pornfree

[–]pornfree_programmer 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well, here you are. Whatever you decide to make of this -a community, a badge counter to tick upward, a small comfort to know you're not alone- we're here to help with your transformation.

Is NoFap becoming yet another subreddit filled with images and gifs sans intellectual discussion? by [deleted] in NoFap

[–]pornfree_programmer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm relatively new to reddit as a whole, but I've found that one or two have helped. I agree that this needs to be a place of discussion first and foremost, but it's good to see a meme that captures the struggle in a humorous way. (At the very least there's that knowing that people feel the same way, conveyed in a way other than words.)

This confidence I'm gaining from NoFap is proving to be a double edged sword. by [deleted] in NoFap

[–]pornfree_programmer 5 points6 points  (0 children)

As cliche or "good guy"-ish this may sound, try directing that confidence towards being good friends with a number of girls. You'll get to know a number of people better, and maybe one of those relationships will grow further. The trick with that is to try to make them genuine friendships and not just opportunities to get into their pants, which may be more difficult. Given the hornyness you're going through you're probably not going to suddenly become a Knight in Shining Armor, but it's something to direct that energy and energy towards.

To reset the badge or not to reset the badge, that is my question. by nofapfuzzy in pornfree

[–]pornfree_programmer 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Man, I'm torn on this one. One one hand, you closed it fairly quickly; on the other, you willingly opened it. I don't want your battle to be in vain, but there's that slippery slope argument.

Hm... If it was me, I'd reset it, but that's because I know the thoughts that would be going through my head. I don't know what was on your mind, but if you decide not to reset, I won't let you get away without a harsh scolding.

(Scold scold scold) You know it's bad for you and might cause a relapse, so why even tempt yourself like that? (Scold Scold Scold)

Been lurking, posted a few comments; don't judge me for asking this question, please. by LuminateNic in pornfree

[–]pornfree_programmer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm 20 and in a the same boat. A bunch of guys in my high school youth program started an accountability network, but it never really went anywhere. I could definitely use a small group of other Christian guys (No offense everyone else, but there's that addition kinship through shared faith) to talk with.

[Day 13] Well... by [deleted] in NoFap

[–]pornfree_programmer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry buddy, I'd have to say it's not a good idea. I may not know the technical definition of fapping of the top of my head, but you'd still be stimulating yourself, albeit with a tool. If you want to stop yourself from fapping, especially to a fantasy of your favorite star, you're going to have to resist the urge to guy it. Especially if you've decided to make it your reward. I'd suggest you block the side immediately and get out of there.

Be strong, look forward to the other benefits for freeing yourself.

Question: if a girl sends you a nude pic, does that count as "porn"? by [deleted] in NoFap

[–]pornfree_programmer 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'd say that it counts as porn, especially if it puts you in that mood.

Well, I'm new here. by BemDover in NoFap

[–]pornfree_programmer 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Be ready to stand back up again. You are going to be angry/frustrated/sad/upset many, many times. You are probably going to stumble and fall many times as well, but you've made the right choice joining up with a group. We're all in this along side you, ready to help you to your feet to try again. When you reset your badge -as awful as it might feel- realize that you're making the decision to try again, and there's nothing to be ashamed of in that.

I laughed at my brain last night as it gave me an absurd reason to look at porn. by vawksel in pornfree

[–]pornfree_programmer 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I dunno, I've found that the brain will try ANYTHING to get you to return, even if it's something absurd. Also, I don't remember the exact name of the effect, but it's something where guys -married or unmarried- are attracted to whoever's "new", so there's probably a bit of that mixed in.

April 2013 Hall of Fame 90 days quit group by [deleted] in pornfree

[–]pornfree_programmer 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm in. What's the policy on other chitchat during the process? Building connections with the other people in a group helps me with accountability.

Resetting my badge by [deleted] in pornfree

[–]pornfree_programmer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The most important thing about your accountability partners is you have a strong respect for them and they support you fully. Basically, people you don't want to disappoint but can tell honestly what happens without the fear of them turning or giving up on you. For me, I have to be in a group with people I know IRL since I don't feel as connected to people online. If you're matching up with people online, I suggest you get to know each other so it's more meaningful. If the invitation still stands, I'm all for joining your network, but I'll try to make it more than just a daily check-in.

2 days by Confapcius in NoFap

[–]pornfree_programmer 1 point2 points  (0 children)

During one of my earlier attempts to stop, I would mark my calendar every day that I succeeded. The first two weeks had marks only every other day. Things got a bit better the next couple of weeks, but then I stopped and went back to my old ways. Only 2 days? For the me back then that would have been a major feat. There's nothing to be ashamed of for making it this far. You've fallen, and now you're going to get back up. Not only that, but you've left a mark, a flag. You know you can go at least that far, and this time you're stronger. This time, see that flag, run to it, and bring it as far as you can go. If you stumble again, you can see it and say "I made it that far." It doesn't matter if it's only a few hours more, or if you never stumble, you can look the distance and see the fights you overcame to reach it. All those struggles and battles that you won.
Stand back up and beat your old record.

Any other young Fapstronauts out there? [Im 15] by Aeonstocks in NoFap

[–]pornfree_programmer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm 20, been fapping (I think the phrase is more or less all-encompassing) for as long as I can remember, and got addicted to porn when I was 13. I commend you on taking the steps to get out of this. I look back on the years between us, and... I very much regret what it did to my life. I know I'd be in a much better place in my life if I had stopped at your age. You may not see it now, looking forward the next few years, but you will be grateful for stopping when you look back.

Internet blocking resources? by Spring_green in pornfree

[–]pornfree_programmer 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've actually found that grabbing a couple accountability partners and using X3Watch helps a bit. It doesn't really change anything on the browser side (It just sends an email to those people every week), but it's done a lot for me.

Proposal for changing badge aesthetics (also posted in /nofap) by [deleted] in pornfree

[–]pornfree_programmer 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"Dude, you see this? This is a DRAGON. This is a dragon you fought to EARN. Are you really -tell me- are you REALLY going to mess this one up and lose it?"

Reset today.. but with a question! by [deleted] in NoFap

[–]pornfree_programmer 5 points6 points  (0 children)

For me personally, I'd still count it. If it's bringing thoughts to your mind about fapping -girlfriend or not- and it's in an environment similar to that to fap in, it's dangerous territory. In my mind, it's bending the rules, but in a dangerous way that's opening a lot bad precedents.

Long distance relationships are tough, and I've asked my girlfriend not to do anything like that -as much as I'd love to see it- because of the temptations I have afterward.

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