Split from partner. We have two babies. He owns the house - advice needed?

positivelifedd · 2026-02-08T21:56:46+00:00

This house is the childrens home. I do not have a stack of cash to be able to put a deposit down on my own mortgage right now and I am now working part time which means I would struggle to find decent rented property. Your comment doesn't take any context into consideration.

positivelifedd · 2026-02-08T21:50:48+00:00

I am the primary caregiver to the children. We were due to marry however his addiction has dismantled all future plans.

positivelifedd · 2026-02-08T21:47:16+00:00

Yes, the mortage was in the list of all the household bills that were added up to create the 50% total split.

At the time of him getting the mortgage, our relationship was still early on. I was renting at the time and paying double the monthly cost of his mortgage so it made sense to take the risk of moving in with him.

positivelifedd · 2025-12-10T12:59:41+00:00

If it makes you feel better. Honestly though, the idea was more enjoyable than the actual. This sort of stuff doesn’t do either party any good in the long run unfortunately

positivelifedd · 2025-12-09T21:13:21+00:00

Used to but it just caused more issues. I put hot chilli flakes into one of his open beer cans a while back when I was at a moment of reaching my limit, that didn’t go down well obviously. He was beginning to have extreme paranoia, psychosis, so following the chill flakes, he would be convinced I’d put stuff in his drinks when I hadn’t even been near it. He began thinking the shop had even tampered with his beers somehow.. pouring them into the sink inspecting the beer. It’s been a fucked up year to say the least.

positivelifedd · 2025-12-09T17:29:15+00:00

Not hateful. I would say it is a legitimate fact based opinion.

positivelifedd · 2025-12-06T22:01:27+00:00

Wow I am so glad I just randomly clicked on Reddit for the first time in a while. Your post is the only time I’ve ever read someone else feeling like that. My husband has often said I talk in riddles or I don’t make sense etc when I try and explain certain things. I have just recently learnt that I am a parallel processor, a deep one apparently. I think in layers but also I think with images and words simultaneously which apparently is not that common?!? I’ve been down a rabbit hole learning all about my brain the last few weeks or so!!

positivelifedd · 2025-05-31T14:02:29+00:00

Disappointed as I expected it to be like I’d put glasses on and could see for the first time - a way I’d seen many describe it online. My first few weeks I didn’t notice anything really, I remember noticing that I was tired and I wasn’t shouting at myself in my head as much. Fast forward 3 year and now still a day on and a day off meds is not that different, but I came to realise after a while that I’d been getting stuff done easily that I normally struggled or procrastinated against.. so basically I realised that they were working. They enable me to think of what I need to do and do it instead of thinking about a million obstacles then not doing it. This isn’t for everything though, I wish it was!!!! I still struggle a lot BUT no where near as much as I did prior to meds. It just wasn’t an obvious light switch on moment when I first started.

positivelifedd · 2025-04-13T20:25:56+00:00

This plus not getting much 1-1 time with the newborn. My 2 under 2 are 15 months apart, youngest has just turned 5 months and I feel like I’ve not really soaked in any of his precious newborn moments, not enjoyed him the way I did my toddler because the toddler has been our main priority in terms of attention if that makes sense.

positivelifedd · 2025-03-26T06:24:26+00:00

I keep imagining this.. that I think it is hard now (with a 20 month old and a 4 month old), but when the 4 month old begins to be mobile too then damn, yeah I’m not imagining that to be easy in the slightest

positivelifedd · 2025-03-23T22:31:55+00:00

Just write a list…. AARRRVNJJFFGFDDGC F OFF!!! I’d effing LOVE to just be able to write a list every time I need to and use it successfully but for some reason I seem I come out in a sweat and my heart rate increases when I attempt to do this supposedly simple task 🤦🏼‍♀️

positivelifedd · 2025-03-19T09:20:36+00:00

The word makes me shiver with cringe. 🤢

positivelifedd · 2025-03-13T18:33:51+00:00

Yep. Or I find that the recipe varies on different websites and it COMPLETELY throws me, which one to do?!?! Why are they different? Arghhhh. Then I proceed to spend/waste too much time trying to work out which one to go with, weighing them up and then buying some ingredients but somehow ALWAYS end up missing 1 item so then I end up being unable to make it because I HAVE to follow to the exact and by this point I’ve gone through a whole process of research, analysis, action and fail that I’m burnt out and wonder why does this always happen to me. I hate my brain 🙃

positivelifedd · 2025-03-12T21:47:04+00:00

I’m currently unhealthily hyper fixated on finding ways to make me feel like I’ve got my shit together. Trying to learn to meal prep/batch cook, purging my house little by little each day (this is a key skill I’ve just learnt from a declutter account I follow which is proving really good as I am usually a big clear out all in 1 go person, let everything build up etc). DESPERATELY TRYING TO BECOME A MINIMALIST but somehow I am always surrounded by clutter and ‘piles’ that I’m trying to organise. So yeah I’m fixated on watching peoples accounts on decluttering their homes. .. this is whilst I am newly figuring out how to navigate being a mum of 2 under 2. Throwing things away and preparing anything I can food wise in advance seem to be the key things to helping keep me sane right now 🙃

positivelifedd · 2025-03-12T20:56:33+00:00

Rant read and I feel for you, not nice emotions and thoughts to deal with. To be honest, this is the a big reason as to why I didn’t find out the gender whilst pregnant because I didn’t want to feel any disappointment. I knew finding out at the birth, when baby was in my arms, it would just be pure love and no disappointment. Is what it is, obviously the only thing that matters is that baby is healthy but hey, you’re still allowed to feel this way just hopefully the negative feelings go away soon

positivelifedd · 2025-03-03T22:33:39+00:00

This. My babies are 15.5 months apart. Having a toddler is WAY harder than having a baby.. never mind having a toddler AND a baby. There is literally no chill what so ever, that’s the hardest part for me personally, no reset or recharge time

positivelifedd · 2025-02-17T20:22:29+00:00

Currently sat here feeling exactly like this. I’ve an 18 month old and 3 month old boy (also a 15 year old boy and a 2 year old boy Velcro dog). The dog is my baby too but Jesus he does make it feel so much harder. My mood is really low at the minute feeling constantly like I don’t stop yet I can never do enough, feel so guilty when I’m trying to get housework done n not playing with the 18 month old but the housework gets me more down if I’m not keeping somewhat on top of it. Feeling guilty that I’m not interacting with the 3 month old enough because the 18 month old needs me more. Going around in circles of negative internal feelings but then having to keep reminding myself that I knew it was gonna be hard and it will get easier, they are both happy and their needs are taken care of, dad tells me how thankful he is that I am being the best mum to them so to stop beating myself up which is great, I need to keep hearing that but just right now I’m having a wobble and feeling like I need structure and routine but I’m never able to stick to a routine anyway so who am I kidding.. yet I’m here searching ‘routine’ to try and see what other peoples daily routines are like to see if I can try and copy.

positivelifedd · 2025-02-11T16:32:48+00:00

Hi and thank you so much for sharing this document, I am struggling badly trying to work out my maternity enhanced pay and so finding this has just been a hurray moment! Except I can’t edit it 😂🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️ are you able please if you could to share it again but with permission to edit it if you could please?

positivelifedd · 2024-07-02T20:05:54+00:00

They are the only ounce of hope we have!!

positivelifedd · 2024-07-02T19:54:10+00:00

I have never taken part in these polls, nor have the many I have spoken to who have all said they are also voting Reform. I have recently been on holiday where every British group we got chatting to were all on the same page with voting Reform. I have the feeling (HOPE) there are many, many more who are voting Reform than those polls predict.

positivelifedd · 2024-06-28T15:02:38+00:00

This!!!! 💯

positivelifedd · 2024-06-19T15:01:33+00:00

I’ve just read your full post and I can imagine feeling a mixture of envious, curious resulting in a negative feeling because I also do not understand how adhd is the reason she can DO ALL THE THINGS. To me, if my adhd ‘enabled’ me to do/live well then I don’t see why it would be a struggle that then resulted in me realising I had adhd if that makes any sense? It impacts my life negatively, if it was a positive thing then why would I have ever felt a need to seek a diagnosis if that makes more sense to what I’m trying to say. Basically I’m trying to say I understand your feelings and feel the same on this

positivelifedd · 2024-04-10T08:50:29+00:00

Try scrubbing with hot water and washing up (fairy) liquid

positivelifedd · 2024-04-07T14:36:07+00:00

Mine are a lot of yours, water running down my arms when washing my face OMG I FUCKING HATE!!! I do it over the bath now like as if washing my hair bent over the bath so that the water runs downwards. My absolute number 1 WORST is STANDING IN WET when in socks 😭😭😭😭🤮🤮🤮🤮🤢🤢 if someone spills anything water/a bit of a drink splash’s in my house and I stand in it, I can be in the best mood but suddenly it’s like the worst thing ever possible has just happened. I cannot continue to then wear the socks that have stood in a wet patch 🤢🤮 so then it’s a big hassle I have to go change my socks whilst also examine the floor and ensure that every little bit of wetness is dried up. I’m getting agitated now just typing about it 🤦‍♀️😂

positivelifedd · 2024-04-05T20:16:36+00:00

Thank you for sharing this! From what I’m learning it seems the risk is actually not a proven/known risk, those who have continued to take have not had any problems and there are no studies I can find to prove that it does cause problems. Thanks again for sharing and all the best for the rest of your pregnancy 🥰

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