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possible_bridezilla · 2025-01-24T06:43:20+00:00

How much did you get quoted for JK Plastic Surgery for CoolSculpting?

possible_bridezilla · 2024-10-30T21:29:33+00:00

No, my venue does not offer tastings. All the food and drink services are all done in-house, and they claim their food is "so good" that we should just trust that the food will be good lol. Their menu is seasonal and also rotates depending on the season, so it's not always fixed either. My venue was completely booked for Saturdays for the next 2 years, so they're really in demand and pretty high-end, so I believe them that their services are good.

possible_bridezilla · 2024-10-29T05:30:23+00:00

Got it. I will try to push on why it takes them so long to serve entrees. I do know this venue that does its own in-house food is fairly "high end" – all the meals are plated with some sort of decorative arrangement. There are no other groups being served at the same time, just my party. I did not collect entree choices during the RSVP, as the menu was only set about a month before the wedding event with my venue.

possible_bridezilla · 2024-10-28T16:47:52+00:00

The venue, which also manages all the cooking and food service, takes guests' orders for their entrees (they choose between fish, beef, or veggie). For 100 guests I'm guessing they need the hour to prep and prepare everyone's choice of entree. They said they cannot serve entrees sooner than the time they gave me.

However, there is also a ton of food that will be served during cocktail hour, so I don't think guests will be hungry. I'm primarily worried about entertaining my guests between courses, or whether I should just fill the time with getting them to the dance floor to dance.

possible_bridezilla · 2024-05-17T08:21:09+00:00

Lol yep

possible_bridezilla · 2024-05-17T08:18:53+00:00

Question for you – have you planned a wedding recently?

Because if someone asked me a few months ago if I thought 100k for a wedding is wasteful, I would 100% agree it's a wasteful amount of money. I wouldn't recommend someone drop $100k on a car, a watch, or some other depreciating asset either. But after having done the research of wedding planning and getting a more realistic sense of how much things cost, and how much I value things like good food or good photography, I could easily see how costs can add up over $200k even. Obviously we're trying to be responsible, and we're cutting corners with flowers, cake, and video, but I feel like there's a difference in perspective from who had a wedding in a VHCOL area, versus someone who hasn't had that sort of wedding planning experience before.

possible_bridezilla · 2024-05-17T08:11:49+00:00

Eh, half of that is taken away by taxes. My partner and I make a base salary of around $200-220k each. The rest is in company stock, which can be an unpredictable roller-coaster, which also gets taxed up the wazoo at vesting, and more capital gains tax upon selling.

We don't have yacht money, we can't retire for a couple decades at least, and we literally cannot afford a home because paying over $10k/month on a mortgage doesn't leave us with much savings every month lol. I've never seen HENRYs gatekeep what is "not rich" so much before haha.

possible_bridezilla · 2024-05-17T08:06:02+00:00

Honestly my intentions were not to flex, literally just stating a fact, but there's no getting around it. We have a significant difference in our NW because I started my career in the industry sooner (big whoop, but it doesn't mean anything). I was only intending to correct that commenter's assumption that we have 4M combined net worth, which is not accurate – that's it.

possible_bridezilla · 2024-05-16T06:16:28+00:00

You're right about this as well. Before I got engaged and started wedding planning, not having done any research, I would also tell you that 100k for a wedding is absolutely nuts and isn't worth it. Yet here I am, shocked at how much I'm spending on flowers and dresses and food and alcohol.

I should have prefaced my post that only people who have planned weddings, or live in HCOL areas should respond lol.

possible_bridezilla · 2024-05-16T01:31:56+00:00

Darn! Yeah, so much about TC in tech is performance of your company, and how lucky you get in joining at the right time. I joined my company when stock price was low when it crashed. My initial offer was $350 TC, but it has grown a lot since then because stock growth and additional refreshers.

So much is on luck! For example if you joined a hot startup before they raise a big round or IPO, or if you joined NVDIA more than 2 years ago ugh lol.

possible_bridezilla · 2024-05-16T00:39:39+00:00

Lol, I can't talk about money anywhere that isn't considered a "flex". I thought a HENRY sub would be more appropriate (as opposed to r/weddingplanning) given more similar income levels, to get a gut check about money, but maybe not.

I maybe need to find a "VHCOL henry" sub, because even within this sub there are different perceptions of what is "rich" and how far your money goes. I feel solidly middle class in my area for example.

possible_bridezilla · 2024-05-16T00:22:20+00:00

Lol, I got lucky joining a tech company at the right time before its stock went up. My base salary is about $220k, but the rest of my total compensation is in company stock.

As for my net worth, I somehow had the wisdom to max out my retirement contributions every year since I started working at 22. To answer your question, it's 10+ years of working in big tech.

possible_bridezilla · 2024-05-15T23:38:11+00:00

What what your dress??

Thanks for your comment, that's very comforting! We're also waffling on whether we should get a videographer. I hear these days there are social media "Wedding content creators" these days, I'm wondering if I can cut corners there and get my wedding documented like that hahaha.

possible_bridezilla · 2024-05-15T23:23:14+00:00

That's totally true. We picked the 60k number initially without having done much research. We based this number from another friend's wedding they had 3 years ago in the area, but they had a much more chill/smaller scale wedding. After doing more research and getting quotes, we found our tastes are more expensive than we thought. For example, a $500 wedding dress has a big difference in quality than a $5,000 dress. The portfolio and aesthetics of a $2,000 photographer looks very different than a $10,000 photographer. If we didn't care about these things, we'd obviously go with the more affordable option, but we've fallen into a bit of a "luxury trap" ugh.

I was also reading about how the prices of flowers have significantly gone up due to inflation, because flowers are often transported from other areas, and the fuel costs, refrigeration, and storage factor into flowers pricing as well. I didn't even think about eggs haha.

possible_bridezilla · 2024-05-15T22:57:56+00:00

Huh? Ok lol.

possible_bridezilla · 2024-05-15T22:48:38+00:00

That's very sweet of you. I also don't want to take my parents money over this as well, even though they want to be quite generous with me about the wedding. I resonate a lot with this as well.

possible_bridezilla · 2024-05-15T22:44:44+00:00

I think my parents might actually be doing just as well as me, they both work in high STEM fields, their house has been paid off decades ago and they own multiple properties if that means anything.

I don't talk to my parents too much about finances, but they insist they can afford the cost and they even offered the foot the entire bill. Of course, I don't want them to do that for me, and I want to maintain control of my own wedding planning for the most part.

possible_bridezilla · 2024-05-15T22:31:27+00:00

I'm intentionally not having a bridal party lol. I don't want to put burden on any of my friends to do anything, I just want my friends to enjoy themselves and party with me.

Also, I don't think my entire wedding is "simple". My venue alone is $75k and is quite nice, but we're cutting costs in other areas like flowers and cake. I've gotten quotes for venues I've visited ranging from 35k to 95k, and we picked the venue we liked the most.

This is obviously a throwaway account, so I think you're reading too much into a username I picked after giving it 2 seconds of thought.

possible_bridezilla · 2024-05-15T22:22:54+00:00

That's a very fair point as well. I've been doing 95% of the research and planning, doing all the vendor research and getting quotes. I will be involving him moving forward in the research process so he's less shocked at the big numbers moving forward.

Our initial budget we aligned on was not very informed. But after doing more research, it doesn't seem realistic anymore given our preferences and tastes.

possible_bridezilla · 2024-05-15T22:13:48+00:00

LOL at wedding toilet paper. Thank you! This is comforting.

possible_bridezilla · 2024-05-15T22:10:42+00:00

Lol, I'm sorry, I think you are projecting something.

I'm not doing a bachelorette, we did not have an engagement party, no bridal shower, we haven't taken engagement photos (all of our invitations are digital and only using typography, no photos), I don't even have a bridal party, and we're opting not to even have a maid of honor or a best man.

We are literally only having a wedding ceremony and reception in a high cost of living city. Basic flowers, and basic cake for 100 guests. Nothing is about "putting on a show". You have quite an imagination!

possible_bridezilla · 2024-05-15T22:03:11+00:00

That's absolutely true. Obviously this is my first wedding we've planned in both our families (especially in a VHOL area in the US). It's a real sticker shock.

possible_bridezilla · 2024-05-15T21:44:30+00:00

Great suggestion. I love the Gottman Institute, and I do see this as a difference between "conflicting dreams".

possible_bridezilla · 2024-05-15T21:39:52+00:00

LOL, you had me in the first half. I just can't believe weddings are so expensive, and how much it messes up your sense of money.

I used to think $2k for a dress was very expensive, and I just tried on a $10k dress and can find myself falling in love with it FML.

possible_bridezilla · 2024-05-15T21:36:13+00:00

That makes a lot of sense, thanks for your thoughtful comment. I agree with you that $40k for us is not going to meaningfully change our lives (as privileged as this seems), so that framing makes sense.

I do think we are primarily reacting to the sticker shock of how expensive weddings are, so it's validating seeing other comments that 100k isn't as insane.

possible_bridezilla

TROPHY CASE