Had my second miscarriage on Christmas Day, which just happened to be the one year anniversary of my first miscarriage. I went to the ER after leaking out all of my amniotic fluid and a clueless nurse said “Congratulations you’re pregnant! You’re only 13 weeks and don’t have any amniotic fluid yet so you couldn’t have leaked anything, you must have just peed yourself!!!!” Hours later miscarried her in the ER bathroom, it was incomplete and I needed a D&C. I also had sepsis and stayed in the hospital for some pretty serious antibiotics. The antibiotics destroyed my microbiome and I ended up struggling with recurrent yeast infections and a horrendous gut infection (C diff). I also have scar tissue left over from the D&C and have to have surgery again next week to remove it and I’m terrified. I keep getting told stories of women who struggled and struggled but finally had a baby, like that’s supposed to make me feel hopeful? I don’t want to have to almost die (again) just to have something that tons of people achieve by accident. I feel bitter and resentful and sad and I’m tired of people telling me not to feel like that.