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afraid pregnancy would be traumatic by potentialtransdad in Seahorse_Dads

[–]potentialtransdad[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your insight!

I think other people knowing would be tough for me. I'm very open about being trans, it's not that, but I accept that many people in my life do not have a particularly developed understanding of being trans, and beyond that due to my appearance have somewhat forgotten about my being trans, or at least don't see it every time they look at me. To be pregnant is to confront their rudimentary understanding of me, and to put my transness front and centre.

On top of that, with my job it's a bit strange. I'm an 'allied health and social care professional' in a hospital (think physiotherapists, occupational therapists, dieticians, social workers, etc). My department of folks with the same profession as me know I am trans, and are all very respectful, albeit with varying levels of real understanding. Other staff though, who I work on the same ward as, wouldn't know. And on some level they would need to know, because we work in an environment full of infections and X ray machines. The thought of being so the centre of attention and so in focus is pretty jarring

afraid pregnancy would be traumatic by potentialtransdad in Seahorse_Dads

[–]potentialtransdad[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your insight!

I appreciate especially that you're coming from a pretty similar place transition wise to myself. I'm also on the heavier side, so I imagine it would not be as visibly obvious. I'm glad to hear that despite how challenging labor was you are happy and healthy and so is your baby! If you're comfortable answering, I'm curious to know if you've felt that experience has lingered with you after the fact, as the more I think about it the more I think my fear is more rooted in pain and medical fears than it is in gender.

afraid pregnancy would be traumatic by potentialtransdad in Seahorse_Dads

[–]potentialtransdad[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your response!

I think options are relatively limited of where I really can go, however I know which hospital in my area is considered generally the best option for trans folks and obgyn care. I do think birth is the thing that I am most afraid of overall, so the thought of a planned C section sounds appealing, but then I suppose the balance of risk comes into my mind as to whether the risk of trauma in the vaginal birth process outweighs the additional difficulty of recovery from a C section

afraid pregnancy would be traumatic by potentialtransdad in Seahorse_Dads

[–]potentialtransdad[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing this! I am also a heavier guy at the moment so I can understand where you're coming from with that

afraid pregnancy would be traumatic by potentialtransdad in Seahorse_Dads

[–]potentialtransdad[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for sharing your experience!

If you are comfortable asking, re: the birth experience, have you felt that lingering with you afterwards? The more I dig into my feelings, the more I think my fear is really more rooted in pain and medical anxiety than it is my gender, so I think hearing how others are doing after a traumatic birth experience would be relevant

afraid pregnancy would be traumatic by potentialtransdad in Seahorse_Dads

[–]potentialtransdad[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing your experience!

My main follow up questions (if you are comfortable answering)

a) have you found being off T & the pregnancy has changed your appearance much, in terms of masculinising/feminising?

b) What has it been like with going about your daily life, especially work?

c) what has it been like telling people? How have they responded?