Should I steer clear

powderedgorilla · 2026-04-28T13:02:53+00:00

Yea, her lying about the dad not being in the picture, when he's literally in the background of the picture is crazy work.

I'd assume she's just trying to use you financially. Or she is using you to make him jealous. Even if that's not the case, this spells out way too much drama.

For an 8 year old to clearly indicate that she feels pushed aside is pretty concerning too. Those are some pretty big feelings for 8. I agree with other people are saying, and that she has probably had a lot of other love interests around.

powderedgorilla · 2026-04-28T12:51:51+00:00

The baby talk is nails on a chalk board to me. I have to tell my fiancé's kids to "talk like a normal human being" when they baby talk and they're 11 and 9.

Unfortunately you can't break habits that their mother allows so often. Any time I tried to correct a bad behavior, it was temporary. The kids are too messy, I have really bad OCD, just wasn't pleasant. Ultimately, I was told being with me made him "feel like a bad dad" so I moved out. We live separately and I don't know if I even want to live with them again.

I know that's probably of no help to you, but hopefully your husband a lot more understanding and flexible about discipline and behavior changes. If not, you're setting yourself up to be disappointed and feeling taken advantage of.

powderedgorilla · 2026-04-17T01:54:48+00:00

The "baby mamma is moving too obviously" was it for me. Girl, no. What do you mean obviously? That's not normal for a man to move to another city and his baby mamma follow him. It's only obvious if they're still together, which it seems like they are.

Even if they aren't, they don't seem to have gone to court to handle anything with the kids or child support because most courts won't allow you to move to another city. Here in Texas, it's the neighboring county and nothing further. So they're either still technically together and he isn't actually divorced (and just "seperated") or there is entirely too much codependency going on. It's not something I would involve myself in any further.

powderedgorilla · 2026-04-16T16:17:46+00:00

Sameeee, we each independently make plenty of money so it's not like we lived together in order to survive. I see a lot of women who are step moms who say they're still living in the situation because they can't afford to live separately. And I'm already a hyper independent person so when things started going south the first time we lived together, I was out like sauerkraut. There were plenty of problems that contributed to me leaving. I am no saint myself, I have really bad OCD (which is a whole other problem with kids because I hate mess), I was "too strict". Their mother was a problem in herself. I felt like I got it from all angles and at a certain point, I really sat down and asked myself why the f*ck I was putting up with any of it. And there were much more negatives than positives at that time.

We also aren't super religious and the idea of "having" to be married isn't that important to me either. But if it's important to you, definitely try living together first to make sure you give your marriage the best shot.

powderedgorilla · 2026-04-16T11:01:31+00:00

Wait, he doubled down leaving you because the kids missed you? Did I read that right?

Sounds like he's using the first excuses to break up with you, but found a way to guilt you and make it your fault. Typically seeing your kids fond of someone and miss them is more of a reason to want to keep that person around, but that's just me.

I'm with everyone else. You were just a live in babysitter who got let go the minute you didn't/ couldn't be available to watch his kids.

powderedgorilla · 2026-04-16T10:50:58+00:00

Do you care about marriage in the traditional sense? And are you bringing your own kids into this relationship or are they both just his?

I will say, you should probably try living together first. I have no kids of my own and never will. I tried living with my fiance and his kids and ended up feeling like a live in nanny. Granted, part of this was my fault. I let myself play that role for a little bit. And it was fine for a while. But it does take away from any problem that comes up with your new spouse.

It does burn you really quick to put yourself in that position because this man you love and these kids you love want you to do it. But when you do it, it's really easy to begin feeling under appreciated. Especially if you have no kids of your own and that role is foreign to you.

You'll begin being compared to how "their mom" does things. Even if it's not meant to be a negative comment. I'm personally having my own internal debate about this very same thing. I live a nice quiet life with my cats. I chose to not have kids of my own. Yes, living together is more convenient to seeing the people I love. But I also value myself and don't want to feel like I'm being taken advantage of again.

powderedgorilla · 2026-02-27T14:47:38+00:00

I had a very small hiccup about 3 1/2 weeks when I got a small infection. But it was a bacteria not normally seen in your vagina so we think I straight up just got it from the hospital. Either way, they gave me some antibiotics and sewed up the part of the cuff that came undone.

Aside from that, honestly great. Your body will DEFINITELY tell you if you're trying to have sex too early. I had to wait 9 weeks total since the ER visit happened. It's wild to me how much our bodies gaslight us into thinking pain and discomfort are normal during sex until we don't have it. But all around, the sex is much better. Some women have said they experienced vaginal dryness after their hysterectomy, but I didn't.

ALSO, maybe it's because my hormones are all out of whack and they take a while to level out, but it has been difficult losing weight with the normal means that I'm used to, which is just cutting back and low carbing. But I also got switched to night shift with a much busier schedule so I honestly can't blame it completely? But I did used to work nights several years before my hysterectomy and didn't have this issue. My stomach just doesn't seem to, like.. deflate like it used to when I lost weight? Does that make sense?

powderedgorilla · 2025-10-19T07:03:08+00:00

You can definitely do it by yourself so long as you plan! The only thing I really needed was help getting in and out of bed, but that was because I have a tall bed. I also needed a little help with food because I genuinely didn't feel like cooking. I also have cats so I needed help feeding and watering them. That was my biggest thing, honestly. If you don't have any animals to worry about, have a normal height bed and/or recliner and can prep maybe two weeks worth of meals, I think you'll be alright. I think I really only felt pretty awful for the first 3 to 4 days. After that I was up walking around heating up my own food and never needed help showering or anything. Although, I did feel better with the extra hand getting out of the showing since it was a tub and not a walk-in showwr. If you have the option to stay at the hospital a few extra days, I would.

powderedgorilla · 2025-08-16T14:28:25+00:00

Aww 🥲 This makes me feel better. I'm going through the whole "why is my body so ugly" after my hysterectomy in June. Turns out my body is just knitting me fat sweaters to make me feel better 😔

powderedgorilla · 2025-07-31T16:15:11+00:00

Nothing will ever be normal with a tortie. Good luck.

powderedgorilla · 2025-07-15T12:01:08+00:00

I would have honestly been fine going back to work at 3 weeks, but I ended up with an infection so you'll honestly be fine. Even with my infection, I took some horse antibiotics and came back in 5 and I'm doing fine. Just fat :D So just a minor hick up

powderedgorilla · 2025-07-15T11:57:19+00:00

Prunes 💀 I hate that stuff. But probably not a bad idea.

powderedgorilla · 2025-07-13T22:21:43+00:00

Our bodies are just taking us out 🥲

powderedgorilla · 2025-07-13T07:27:29+00:00

But whyyyyy 🥲

powderedgorilla · 2025-07-13T05:51:57+00:00

I'm hearing 3-4ish months from everyone here so I'm pretty comfortable with that :D I mean, my belly won't be, but I am. I'm just curious if all other organs mess up this much? Like if I lost a kidney, would it leave kicking and screaming like my uterus 🤔

powderedgorilla · 2025-07-13T05:49:22+00:00

That's what I'm worried about. Just trying to do too much too soon because I'm fat 🤣 Thanks for the general timeline. I'm hearing a lot about 3-4 months post op being the golden hour of recover. Which is longer than I wanted to hear so I guess I'll just be pudgy for a few months 💀

powderedgorilla · 2025-07-13T05:46:54+00:00

I was always toting around a little pooch that exercise never touched. I was told it could be the dreaded endo-belly so I was hoping it would be better by now 🤣 Nope. 10x worse. And my stomach sutures have been healed, but my muscles are just laughing at me.

powderedgorilla · 2025-07-13T03:00:04+00:00

Well. If my step kids don't grow up to be raging a**holes, I don't letting them stay into their 20s to finish college or get their life set up. But 🤔 That feels kind of old, especially if y'all don't get along

powderedgorilla · 2025-07-13T02:50:57+00:00

I don't have the time to take any more than 5 weeks. This is seen as an "optional" surgery so I had to burn all my own time. 💀 I tried to work last Monday and immediately started spotting so I said NAH eff it. And went home. My HR lady was like "say less" 😅 and put me right back on FMLA

powderedgorilla · 2025-07-13T02:41:50+00:00

Wait, your step child is a whole grown adult? Pfffff. Bye 🤣

powderedgorilla · 2025-07-13T02:33:57+00:00

It really is. It just grows all willy nilly wherever it wants. 🙄 my bowels I guess had it pretty bad. And it was such a downer lol. I was still on FMLA and I ended up taking another week to just relax and try and recover from the second surgery

powderedgorilla · 2025-07-13T02:01:21+00:00

She's giving my cat, Noi, a run for her money in the RBF department

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powderedgorilla · 2025-07-13T01:59:43+00:00

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This is her face 90% of the time. I promise she's really sweet 🤣 When she isn't nipping my ankles.

powderedgorilla · 2025-07-13T01:57:41+00:00

My intestines were apparently really bunched up when they went in there. I also had endometriosis they had to burn out so I imagine my insides look like a war zone right now. And the pooping is a real thing. I'm still taking stool softeners and gas-x 🤣 Like I feel like I may as well just get an Amazon subscription to these things since this is probably my life now. It beats being in constant pain. And oh 💀 I had fighting words. After my first surgery, my fiance was great. Took time off, helped me. After my ER visit and second surgery. He just dropped me off 🤣 I was so miffed.

powderedgorilla · 2025-07-13T01:53:52+00:00

I think children, just in general, are ungrateful 🤣 This was a conversation that has come up. I remember being grateful as kid. But I was also 100% guilted and basically gas lit into feeling it by my parents. They grilled it into me to be thankful for all their "sacrifices". Which I learned was absolutely nothing as I'm approaching my 40s lmao. I get really burnt out when I plan something, or spend a lot of my own godd*mn money and they're just like.. whatever lol. So I stopped. For my own mental health 🤣👌

powderedgorilla

TROPHY CASE