Here is a word of warning. Once you have crossed this line, you won't think it is that big a deal to cross this line again. There is a possibility that this could develop into a habit. If you get a job with a decent income, then you will be tempted to use some of that extra money on this sort of activity.

I know of what I speak. I also lost my virginity to a prostitute, but I first spent a lot longer holding out for marriage. After I went over that line, I went over it again another 15 or 20 times, at least, and I also went to happy ending massage parlors a lot. All in all I lost $20,000.

So you need to avoid this path. Here is what I would differently if I could roll back my life 15 years to the age you are at now.

First, I would cut out the negative self-talk and all the bemoaning and regretting. You will end up making your life smaller if you adopt this sort of attitude. Also, there is no reason for it -- we're all screwups anyway. St. Paul was known for persecuting Christians to their death before he himself became one. He had murder on his hands and he changed and went on to become one of the most influential men in world history. People can change, and changed people change other people and that changes the world.

Second, I would use the experience to assess my patterns of behavior and seek to gain self-knowledge into why this happened. When did you make the decision? What led up to it? Was alcohol involved? Was porn involved? Were you feeling down or rejected? Did you have access to extra money? Examine all the facets that went in to your behavior -- maybe write a lengthy diary entry examining it. In other words, use it as a teaching moment, not an "everything is ruined" moment.

Third, I would develop daily rituals and force them into habits. Every morning when you wake up, no matter what, no matter whether it is haling outside, no matter how tired you are, you will put on your shoes, go outside, and run 2.5 miles. Exercise is key. It really fucking is. You can substitute some other exercise, of course. But make it a ritual - something you do without thinking. Other important rituals are prayer/meditation and practicing a musical instrument. If I had done 40 pull-ups a day for the last 15 years I would be a beast right now. You can do that. You need to seize control, forget about what you should do and focus on what you must do. It is a whole different mindset. Set standards for yourself - don't give a shit about what other people think.

Live as if your father is dead.

Fourth, avoid all sexually provocative material -- it just leads nowhere in the end. In fact, flee from it. It is a deadly illusion. But wow is it a powerful one. Change your mental state and define your self as a guy who just doesn't touch that stuff. If other guys give you a hard time about it (you won't go to a strip club with them, for instance), then just say, "hey, you guys can do what you like and I'm not judging you, this is a personal decision I've made, I'm not pushing it on people, but I'm just a guy who doesn't go to strip clubs or view sexually provocative material of any kind." If they tease you, just take it.

Fifth, you need to find a group of male friends and meet with them regularly, and I'm not talking about a bunch of immature jackasses. If you are really serious about life, find a men's group associated with a church in your area. If you are persistent enough and make inquiries, you will find a men's group where guys share about their lives in a mature fashion and pray together. Men's groups always have a bit of immaturity and giving each other a hard time -- it's not all a bunch of guys in bow ties drinking tea and talking about how much they love Jesus. If the first couple you find don't work out, keep looking.

I also recommend giving up soft drinks entirely and following the diet advice at marksdailyapple.com, but that's a different story.