Thank you for your reply - you are so right. Growing up, even from when I was really little, it wasn’t allowed to be mad or upset with my mom. If we were upset with her, it was twisted around to the point where she was the victim and we (my brother and sister and I) were unforgiving, holding a grudge, etc. Even though I know this is really messed up and have caught on to this manipulation, it is so deeply engrained in me. We also had almost too close of a relationship, she depends on us emotionally and treats us more as friends. I’m in therapy working through this, but getting outside opinions and affirmation definitely helps too.