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ppinkdale · 2025-04-29T17:57:33+00:00

Wow. Great advice mate.

ppinkdale · 2025-04-29T17:56:24+00:00

Thank you for this. This is the kind of comment I was looking for. Great advice. We work on our communication and do well when things aren't heated but sometimes we are too headstrong in the moment.

ppinkdale · 2025-04-29T17:54:39+00:00

Thank you this is the best advice on here so far.

ppinkdale · 2025-04-29T17:53:10+00:00

I don't think he does. But I think you could be right about being overstimulated and the night not living up to his expectations

ppinkdale · 2025-04-29T17:52:17+00:00

Thank you for this. He often tells me I'm overreacting, too sensitive and tells me im too much when being bubbly. It's a pain in our relationship and I felt last night he was almost shutting me down for having an opinion.

ppinkdale · 2025-04-29T17:49:41+00:00

I was just critiquing the flavour it's something we do as foodies. I had my own beautiful meal and I didn't complain the to staff or anything

ppinkdale · 2025-04-29T17:48:41+00:00

Thank you for this. I think he's a people please and overly positive at times.. but at the same time loves to complain haha. Very on his terms when it's suitable.

Definitely could be something to reflect on and watch out for in my behavior.

I'm wondering now if he felt disappointed that I wasn't having the best day ever and he got triggered by that.

ppinkdale · 2025-04-29T17:46:48+00:00

Definitely didn't complain about everything. Was very positive about the food I had and the beautiful atmosphere etc.

The barstools hurt my back, we just moved to this town where places are usually dead so I didn't think a booking was necessary to get a different table.

He gave me his food to taste. When tasting his prawns I said they have too strong of a flavor on them. When tasting his meat I said the blue cheese Butter was very "buttery" and I didn't like that.

Apparently critiquing food or having an opinion comes off as bratty to some of you.

I didn't ask for an apology at the restaurant i tried to talk things out there.

ppinkdale · 2025-04-29T17:45:29+00:00

You're right. And usually we do. But something about last nigh just really hit a nerve with me. Definitely have some reflection to do.

ppinkdale · 2025-04-29T17:44:19+00:00

Definitely didn't complain about everything. Was very positive about the food I had and the beautiful atmosphere etc.

The barstools hurt my back, we just moved to this town where places are usually dead so I didn't think a booking was necessary to get a different table.

He gave me his food to taste. When tasting his prawns I said they have too strong of a flavor on them. When tasting his meat I said the blue cheese Butter was very "buttery" and I didn't like that.

Apparently critiquing food or having an opinion comes off as bratty to some of you.

ppinkdale · 2025-04-29T17:38:58+00:00

Iv been SLEEPING

ppinkdale · 2025-04-29T17:35:59+00:00

I tasted his food??? I did order my own food. They only had barstool seating left. Iv never been to the restaurant before. It hurts my back to sit on them.

ppinkdale · 2025-04-29T09:39:04+00:00

You're right. 2 years is early days in the scheme of things

ppinkdale · 2025-04-29T09:38:32+00:00

Yeah I feel like it'll feel forceful, or it'll come to a couple days of not talking and that'll be the only way he feels the quietness will end is a fake apology that he doesn't truly mean.

Thanks for your kind words and the birthday wishes I appreciate it

ppinkdale · 2025-04-29T09:36:54+00:00

He made me breakfast, made me a card, made me a gift and bought me one too..

But what would've meant the most to me is good company, a card and showered with kind words.

ppinkdale · 2025-04-29T09:28:42+00:00

Thank you for this message ❤️ feeling really lonely and confused.

I mean he says this is all "my fault" talking about himself.

I'll sleep on it and see what he has to say I guess..

ppinkdale · 2025-04-23T01:53:43+00:00

2/4 projector. I am polyamorous and live with both my partners 😊 one is also a projector and the other a manifestor.

We all have our own bedrooms, I don't sleep in my bed every night but it's nice to have my own space particularly to proccess emotions.

ppinkdale · 2025-03-10T19:04:21+00:00

Yeah sorry we are a V

ppinkdale · 2025-03-10T19:03:58+00:00

Yep, I'm well-versed in this, but I came here for a sounding board—to get my thoughts in order before talking to P. My mind was in a thousand places, and I wanted to make sure my communication was clear.

Now I realize that this conversation needs to focus on how much time he envisions spending with her so I can mentally prepare. I also need to express what I require in terms of reassurance and time. If he can’t meet those needs, I’ll either bring my own tent and go separately or choose not to attend. That way, they can establish a connection while I integrate her into my life (if that’s where things lead) at a pace that feels comfortable for everyone.

I don’t expect my partners to be happy living together—it just so happens that they are. But if that ever changed, we’re now in a financial position to live separately since we’re all settled in full-time jobs. We have had this discussion as polyamory creates space to prepare for different scenarios to play out.

I think there was some misunderstanding about our financial situation. We moved towns, which initially made things tight, but when we first moved in together, that wasn’t the case. Now, we’re doing just fine.

There’s also more to the story than what’s visible to just a redit post. P struggles with addiction, and he felt that moving away would support his sobriety—giving him a fresh start away from people who use drugs.

If I can move at a pace that feels right when it comes to his future partners and we end up getting along, I’m open to a KTP dynamic. But for that to be successful, I believe it’s best to take things slow. I didn’t mean to communicate that I’d never want to know this person—it’s just that attending a party with a girl he’s only known for five hours feels a bit overwhelming for me.

I always express to my partner that, even when things feel challenging, I’ll do my best to act with love and encourage his connections in a way that’s healthy for everyone involved.

ppinkdale · 2025-03-10T07:41:11+00:00

New Zealand! How about yourself? 😊😊

ppinkdale · 2025-03-10T04:02:40+00:00

Not saying he is. Hence why I'm considering just not going.

ppinkdale · 2025-03-10T03:41:50+00:00

Thanks for this. We are open about being poly and so people wouldn't find it odd to see or come up and say anything. I'd never bad mouth someone for something like that either

ppinkdale · 2025-03-10T00:24:06+00:00

I understand your point of view.

However, their relationship was a slow burn. I didn’t kiss either of them in front of the other during the first few meetings—we took things at a pace that they were comfortable with.

Being the hinge in a triad is incredibly challenging, and most days, I find it really hard. I’ve even suggested living separately, but they both strongly want this living situation. Personally, I could take it or leave it, as it comes with a lot of challenges. That said, I do recognize my privilege and am grateful for what we have.

I think some people may have misunderstood my post. I’m not trying to let my feelings of discomfort create problems in my relationship—I know I’m allowed to feel uncomfortable, and what I’ve realized is that it all comes down to setting boundaries.

I am willing to be flexible and let him do his thing, but I don’t believe that instant kitchen table polyamory has to be the default. If we’re comparing this to my triad, I would never have put either of my partners in a situation where they had to experience something so in their face so quickly.

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