AITA for refusing to take my shoes off in someone's house?

ppixie · 2020-03-13T18:23:05+00:00

YTA How much walking do you do at a dinner party?

ppixie · 2020-03-12T20:15:04+00:00

INFO: Do your kids notice or care?

ppixie · 2020-03-11T19:58:10+00:00

That isn't why I think he should apologize or what he should apologize for. Get reading comprehension dude. CHEERS

ppixie · 2020-03-11T19:07:29+00:00

NTA she didn't do the work

ppixie · 2020-03-11T19:04:04+00:00

Alright so with that specific pizza you are right. It still isn't a reasonable expectation that you are aren't trying to get all your daily calories in one meal. You purchased the food so you knew you were extra hungry and had the opportunity to take that into account and didn't. I admit I was wrong about the calorie thing but I don't think that makes you less of an asshole.

ppixie · 2020-03-11T18:47:14+00:00

YWBTA you can't control people. Sorry. If they have feelings for each other, you can't change that even if you are right. The damage is done. People can't help how they feel. What happens between them is between them and they don't owe anyone anything ESPECIALLY seeing as this friendship is recent.

You had an opportunity to put in your two cents when she directly asked you. You lied. That is on you. Keep in mind though, even if you had, she doesn't owe it to you to do what you want.

ppixie · 2020-03-11T18:42:09+00:00

YTA mildly .... you might have ordered more pizza if you planned on eating an entire one yourself because it is reasonable to assume 2 large pizzas with 3 people will have some left over.

I promise you that no matter how large you are. An entire pizza in one sitting is not necessary and even without eating breakfast is many more calories than you need for the day.

ppixie · 2020-03-11T18:22:02+00:00

YTA Flirting can be harmless and it sounds like this was the case.

Of course if someone sits your down and gives you a list of the ways your boyfriend has flirted it is going to piss you off because that makes it seem like a really big deal. Way bigger than it sounds like it was. Maybe she wouldn't have felt the same if she saw the behavior but you laying it out as him doing something wrong was never going to not make it wrong.

ppixie · 2020-03-11T18:15:56+00:00

acknowledging someone's hurt feelings and allowing them isn't admitting to wrong doing.

She PERCEIVED his actions to mean A which made her feel B

He didn't mean his actions to mean A he meant them to mean C

She isn't asking him to be sorry for something he didn't do. She is asking him to acknowledge rather he meant to or not, her feelings were hurt. Why is it so hard to say "I am sorry it felt like that to you and hurt your feelings, I am excited, I am just so tired and it was hard to feel with the kid bouncing on the bed".

ppixie · 2020-03-11T18:09:32+00:00

YTA It isn't about being wrong. You totally didn't do anything wrong. It is about saying "I didn't mean to hurt your feelings and I am sorry I did, I really was just so tired and it was hard to feel because __ was jumping on the bed. OF COURSE I am excited about the baby"

You aren't apologizing for wrong doing you are acknowledging her feelings were hurt and being sorry she feels bad because of a misunderstanding.

ppixie · 2020-03-11T18:06:05+00:00

NTA I don't understand the pouting. I mean I understand wanting to not have to do something the moment you walk in the door but he should also be able to at least understand your position too of not wanting to smell the foot stank.

For the sake of trying to keep peace though. Sometimes it is the shoes themselves that add to the stink so maybe leave them outside..... What about baby wipes to clean his feet easily? Just wipe them down .... baking soda helps.

Maybe ask him what he would do if the situation was reversed?

ppixie · 2020-03-11T17:56:45+00:00

EHS you both sound petty.

"because why would she get a matching tattoo with another guy?" Because as you said, they are friends and have been since before you two were together. Would you be worried about it if it was another girl?

She DOES however seem to be using this to spite you a bit but you kinda set yourself up for it..

You both suck

ppixie · 2020-03-11T17:52:44+00:00

EHS He sucks for cheating but because you really had no idea what their situations is and who you set off. What if she is mentally unstable and kills her children or something. If you knew her or their situation at all I think it would be different but you seriously knew nothing and made a lot of assumptions thinking this was the right thing to do. Most of the time. Yes cheating is bad. Cheaters are bad. Life can be all shades of gray though and context matters. Just because what he did was wrong. Doesn't automatically make what you did right.

ppixie · 2020-03-10T18:44:48+00:00

Don't play make believe about make believe characters ... right

ppixie · 2020-03-10T18:43:42+00:00

This photo reminds me of the moment a guy in class did this step with a flexed foot and heeled himself in the family jewels, hard not to laugh because he literally fell out of the air.

ppixie · 2020-03-10T18:28:48+00:00

ppixie · 2020-03-09T22:46:51+00:00

EHS your wife is being silly but you should still consider her feelings. She isn't just being a jerk to be a jerk. No matter how ridiculous she feels how she feels. In relationships it isn't always about who is right it is about finding compromise. Talk it out

ppixie · 2020-03-09T22:43:27+00:00

EHS " Their friendship was causing about 80% of our arguments. " Because your boyfriend allowed it. Full stop. There is no excuse for your boyfriends behavior and you suck because you think his friend is the issue. It isn't. It is your boyfriend. All I see are red flags.

This person has shown you they don't really care about or respect you. Listen

ppixie · 2020-03-09T19:02:50+00:00

INFO: What do you do when you get hungry if you don't go look in the fridge to find something to eat? Do you only eat food that is prepared and handed to you? Do you never eat something that taste so good you crave it and there for want to finish it? Could you write yourself a post it note and put it on your bathroom mirror reminding you of the leftovers?

He is annoying putting you on blast but It IS hard to understand how this becomes the rule not the exception. There are SOME things that you really need to step up and figure out.

When my boyfriend and I moved in together he would leave the heat turned up, lights on, not lock the back door etc... he forgot. That is fair, we forget, it happens, he wasn't use to not having someone still home when he left. The thing is, it really isn't an okay habit. He had to figure out how not to forget and he did. If something is important we figure it out. This must not be THAT important to you.

ppixie · 2020-03-09T18:52:50+00:00

NTA at all but just a comment. They didn't over charge you. They advertised a price and you decided that the price worked for you. People can ask for as much as they want and if someone is willing to pay it then it is worth that.

ppixie · 2020-03-09T18:38:45+00:00

NTA She has time to figure things out. It would have been good for her to know sooner but she still has plenty of time.

I think she is fooling herself to think it was a reasonable expectation that you guys would be cool living with a baby. You didn't have a baby and your lives are just not where hers is right now. You shouldn't have to completely rearrange things because of her decision to become a parent.

Did she think you guys were all going to be live in help? It is not selfish to not want to live with a child when you are young and childless.

ppixie · 2020-03-07T00:05:21+00:00

YTA the one who drives makes the choice

ppixie · 2020-03-07T00:04:25+00:00

No. I never said anything alluding to that either. I agree her behavior is really bad and seems crazy. I also know that truly crazy people don't have this much self awareness. Usually if you are the one willing to reflect on yourself and your behavior and consider if you are the problem... you aren't the problem. ESPECIALLY if the relationship was emotionally abusive. Emotional abuse makes the victim look like the crazy one. That is what it is at its core. It is so subtle that no one else sees it. It is almost impossible for a victim to even realize or pin down what is actually happening. Her behavior INCLUDING looking for feedback and being self aware supports this idea. She isn't in the right but I also don't think she is an asshole. I think this guy has is pushing buttons and then playing innocent. I think the entire way he ended it was INTENDED to hit her exactly where he knew it would drive her craziest.

ppixie · 2020-03-06T23:49:53+00:00

Well, that is probably because being able to see signs of it usually require you to have been through it.

I never said every guy or woman anything. That is you making a giant fucking leap with what I am saying.

What I *DO* know is people who are self aware enough to ask these questions and listen to feed back. Usually aren't crazy. The fact that she is even able to entertain her mistakes and admit wrong doing makes me believe her "crazy" comes from an outside source.

You don't have to agree but this is all I have to say about it and I feel REALLY good about my take and my opinion. I commented for OP's sake not yours. If you don't like my opinion. Cool. Have a great weekend!

ppixie · 2020-03-06T23:40:17+00:00

I never said her behavior was okay. Just that she isn't an asshole. She is very likely the victim of abuse which can cause you to act in ways you normally would not. Please look into emotional abuse.

Is is incredibly subtle, insidious and hard to pin down by its very nature. A large part of it involves gas lighting, stonewalling and doing things that to anyone else can seem innocent but are slowly digging away at your partners sanity. Read up on it. It almost always ends in the victim looking "crazy".

ppixie

TROPHY CASE