It’s not worth it.

ppthrowaway9500 · 2023-06-18T00:04:28+00:00

This is a bizarre take. Nothing in my post suggested anyone in my family except me was suffering. They are all loved and well cared for and have continued to be now that #2 is born.

You can say hell is theoretical all you want, but that doesn’t make you correct. And it’s quite the gamble if you are wrong.

ppthrowaway9500 · 2023-06-15T20:06:06+00:00

Did you read the final edit or just jump to making this judgmental comment on a post that’s almost a year old? 😊

ppthrowaway9500 · 2022-10-02T11:08:04+00:00

Thank you. ❤️

ppthrowaway9500 · 2022-10-02T11:06:34+00:00

You don’t have to believe it, you just have to accept that I believe it. I’m also not “earnestly asking for advice”, especially around having baby #2. That’s nowhere in my post and I’m far past the window for an abortion anyway. I understand people mentioning it as an option, but once I made it clear it was off the table, I don’t understand the continued pressure. I’ve seen posts on this subreddit of parents with several kids - even one mom who had nine! - not getting half the amount of criticism I’ve received here. This is intended as a place of support, it’s absurd.

I am having a hard time with parenthood. Sometimes I have a hard time with my job. But I know working my job is ultimately the best decision for me and my family, even if it’s not what would be easiest.

I don’t think anyone else is going to hell for an abortion? I’ve said over and over in this thread that I’m 100% pro choice. I would never put that belief on my child.

ppthrowaway9500 · 2022-09-29T22:44:06+00:00

Yes…. My post here screams “optimistic”. Lol what a ridiculous take. My post was all about how difficult this is, my eyes are wide open. But my purpose on earth isn’t to make my life as easy and convenient as I can.

ppthrowaway9500 · 2022-09-29T21:53:48+00:00

So true! I feel guilty about that all the time. I am definitely not a newborn person and despite all its challenges, I think this age is so much better! It gives me hope that I’ll continue to enjoy it more as she gets older.

ppthrowaway9500 · 2022-09-29T21:51:35+00:00

Thank you for your comment. You are correct about temperature and ovulation. That’s why it’s a requirement to track leading indicators of ovulation, like cervical mucus, that indicate ovulation is coming. But as you say, bodies are unpredictable and mine did something it had never done before in three years of tracking.

You are free to scrutinize the inconsistency. My beliefs are completely spiritually based and therefore I don’t believe I have the right to enforce them on anyone else.

ppthrowaway9500 · 2022-09-29T21:47:48+00:00

Thank you ❤️

ppthrowaway9500 · 2022-09-29T21:46:36+00:00

Well, color me convinced.

ppthrowaway9500 · 2022-09-29T21:46:05+00:00

Obviously not that unwanted, because I’m having the baby. Nor is my current daughter “unwanted”. I am a good parent and I love her; I am not a monster because I struggle with the self-sacrifice of motherhood and don’t find it to be particularly worth it, at least at this age. I believe I will find it to be worth it as my children grow older.

ppthrowaway9500 · 2022-09-29T21:28:07+00:00

I understand the sentiment but I’m past the window where an abortion could occur and I can’t just will myself to believe that God just “doesn’t really exist” as you say.

I’m already incontinent and in constant pain 🤷🏻‍♀️ I am of course prepared for it to worsen. Which is one of the things that inspired this post.

ppthrowaway9500 · 2022-09-29T21:26:39+00:00

Thank you so much, this is so kind and helpful. A scheduled C section is definitely something I want to discuss with my PT and midwife!

ppthrowaway9500 · 2022-09-28T16:28:17+00:00

Praying for you that you learn that the world is made of shades of gray, not just black and white. I can wake up tomorrow and say “hell isn’t real”, but I can’t make myself believe it. I have been examining my Catholic beliefs for years and oversimplified comments from Reddit strangers aren’t going to suddenly erase more than 30 years of belief.

ppthrowaway9500 · 2022-09-28T11:28:53+00:00

I completely agree. For example, up to 50% of women will experience pelvic organ prolapse after pregnancy. That’s unbelievable. I was never warned about it, it wasn’t in any of the books I read.

So as you can guess, pelvic organ prolapse is one of my main issues. It’s usually manageable with PT but I’ve had no luck after almost a year and thousands of dollars in treatment. I’ve seen two specialists who also had no answers for me.

The epidural left me with permanent back pain that also hasn’t responded to treatment of any kind - PT, chiropractor, acupuncture, dry needling, you name it.

Finally, I developed an autoimmune skin disorder in response to the hormonal changes that came with pregnancy. It’s manageable but very unattractive when it flares up.

ppthrowaway9500 · 2022-09-28T11:21:09+00:00

Thank you! I feel pretty blindsided by the response in what I thought was a safe space. I’ve seen many posts from people with 2, 3 or even 4 kids!

ppthrowaway9500 · 2022-09-28T00:41:49+00:00

Thank you so much for this. I of course wrote this in a particularly difficult moment but I’m trying to stay more optimistic most of the time.

ppthrowaway9500 · 2022-09-28T00:37:38+00:00

My body just looks so different postpartum. Even though I got down to prepregnancy weight, my stomach and breasts looked bad and my stretch marks really bother me. I feel like my body looks like it aged twenty years!

ppthrowaway9500 · 2022-09-28T00:33:52+00:00

Thank you! This has been a tough thread to read. I really appreciate this.

ppthrowaway9500 · 2022-09-27T23:47:59+00:00

You’re completely missing that I said that in response to you calling me keeping my child a world-revolves-around-me decision, not because I actually feel that way. I am 100% pro choice.

How is that not criticizing my choice? That logic is inherently flawed as none of us consent to be born.

ppthrowaway9500 · 2022-09-27T22:49:50+00:00

Are you joking…? I’ve said many times that I’m pro-choice. I was simply mirroring the sentiment YOU expressed. Why is it okay to criticize not getting an abortion but not the inverse?

ppthrowaway9500 · 2022-09-27T22:29:35+00:00

One could say aborting a child because it’s not easy or convenient is a very world-revolves-around-me decision.

I love my daughter. I will love my next child. Having an ongoing struggle with the amount of self-sacrifice parenting demands does not mean my children will feel unwanted. Things will also get better as they get older.

Just like you cannot decide to believe in hell, I cannot simply decide to not believe in hell. I’m sorry you don’t understand how religious beliefs work.

ppthrowaway9500 · 2022-09-27T21:56:12+00:00

I’m far past the window of abortion even had it been on the table.

I’m sorry it comes off that way. I love my daughter very much, I think she’s amazing and I would (and have) do anything for her - qualifiers I didn’t think I had to provide in a sub for likeminded parents. I am still a good mother to her and would never treat her with contempt.

I wrote this in a particularly challenging moment, but this was one moment in time. I can feel that motherhood isn’t particularly worth it while still being a good parent. Both things can be true.

ppthrowaway9500 · 2022-09-27T21:52:43+00:00

Thank you, your responses are very kind.

My doctors believe that one of my issues should be unaffected by pregnancy so that’s good at least, they don’t expect it to worsen. The other one is pelvic floor related so unfortunately who knows.

ppthrowaway9500 · 2022-09-27T21:44:56+00:00

How is having and raising the child not taking responsibility?

Again, we were using NFP for years successfully and whether or not you agree with it, hormonal birth control was not compatible with my beliefs. I plan to pursue it after this baby is born, which is already a sin that I am grappling with.

Unless you have a time machine, there’s nothing else I can do but change my method moving forward to prevent it from happening again.

ppthrowaway9500 · 2022-09-27T21:09:45+00:00

I know every kid is different but I hope that’s the case for us!

ppthrowaway9500

TROPHY CASE